The Finder of Small Things

Hey, Friends.

Have you ever put something away in a "safe place"?  It could be as simple as stashing away a gift for someone that you don't need right away, but you know it will be perfect in the future for their birthday or a holiday. Maybe it's a valuable piece of jewelry, an important paper, something with great sentimental value, or just something small that you don't want to get lost. I also tend tuck away things that I don't want Jazz-kitty to get her little paws on. For the most part this system works pretty well.

You may or may not remember my cat, Jazz-kitty.  Among her many talents she can list:

• Being afraid of basically everything (strangers, loud noises, the outdoors)
• Chasing bugs
• Eating any plant she can reach
• Music critic (She's not a Taylor Swift fan)
• Attempting to eat things that were never meant to be ingested by any living creature such as rubber bands and twist-ties.

She has now added a new talent to her resume: The Finder of Small Things.

I first noticed her new talent a few months ago.  I was in the living room, and I could hear her running around in the kitchen, whacking something about and chasing it. I went out to investigate. What wonderful toy was bringing her such delight?  A teeny, tiny baby sock.

I honestly have no idea where she found this thing.  It was covered in dust, and probably used to be white or light blue once upon a time.  I don't have any kids.  I can't even think of any friends or relatives who have been here when they had children small enough to have fit in a sock this small.  I have no clue what hidden depths of my house she plumbed to find this sock.  It had to have been there since before I moved in almost 7 years ago. Makes me wonder what other treasures are around here in unknown hidey-holes. Maybe there is a treasure map or something. That would be awesome!  I could have my own adventure like the Goonies!

Probably not going to happen, so back to the story...

A couple weeks back I once again heard Jazz-kitty batting something around in the kitchen, but this time it sounded metallic. That had to be investigated immediately. It could be something that could hurt her. She also likes to steal my jewelry if I leave it out unattended, and I have lost several earrings this way. Jazz-kitty is keen on shiny things. What had she gotten her little paws on this time?  My iPod.

Now, I know for a fact that I had tucked this safely away when I first moved in. Jazz-kitty had not even been adopted at that time.  It was small, and valuable (at least to me), and I didn't want to lose it. Now, years later, it's being slammed around on my kitchen floor.

What did I even have on this thing?  I know I haven't used it since I moved.  I kind of forgot I even owned it, if I'm being totally honest.  It's one of the tiny ones, a Nano or Shuffle  -- I could lose this thing way too easily....which is why I tucked it away in the first place, come to think of it. I've gotten so used to just using my iPhone for everything that it never crossed my mind.

I really, really wanted to know what was on this thing.  It hadn't been updated in at least 7 years -- possibly longer.  This would be like sonic archaeology (is that a thing?  I'm making it a thing). Going back to the songs I loved in the past.  Dig up all the memories, try to figure out why I had loved them enough to purchase them in the first place -- musically spelunking through my mind.

I know what you're probably thinking:

1) This is way more interesting to you than it is to anyone else.

Fair point, and probably very true.  But admit it -- you're at least mildly curious as to what was on there.  There must be something horribly embarrassing or strange, right?  They are all songs I liked enough at one point to pay money to have.  I don't do that illegal downloading bullshit.  Everything on there I paid for.  You like the music, support the artist and pay for it.  End of story.

2) Just look at your iTunes account, dumbass.  It's all still there.

That would probably work for almost everyone, but technology and I have issues.

You see Friends, over the years I have had several iTunes accounts across many different devices. Services merge and email addresses change.  iTunes itself has changed the ways you can log in over time.  Did I use an apple id or an old email address?  Which dead and long gone computer did I create it on?  This all came to a head when I got my first iPhone and literally couldn't remember which one I had used on the phone, kept losing access to apps and music.  It was a royal pain in the ass and frustrating beyond belief.  Eventually I just sucked it up and contacted customer service to have them help me reset my shit.  I cut my losses and moved forward.

I have no idea what account I was using when this iPod was last updated.  I'm not even sure when it was last updated.  Had to be more than 7 years ago.  No way in hell am I connecting this thing to my laptop to charge and accidentally screwing up my current account or entering the nightmare of multiple accounts once again.  I've got to have the charger around here somewhere.  I'll just charge it using an adapter and the wall outlet.

I looked everywhere.  Every "safe place" I normally store small things in.  I dug through every old adapter/cord that I have ever accumulated.  Nada.  However, in that process I found my other even older iPod (also of the tiny variety), and I thought that thing was long gone, which is why I had a second iPod to begin with.

I'm a mess, Friends, I realize.  Fortunately, one of them would charge with my old iPhone 4s cord which I still had.  Apparently at least part of my brain remembered I had an iPod that would need it.  I had to buy a new cord to be able to charge the other one.  Stupid technology, always updating plugs and adapters.

So, once I got all of my necessary components assembled, I charged them up and got ready to see what was on them. There were a few duplicates, so either these two iPods had been on the same iTunes account at some point, or I really liked those songs and bought them every. damn. time.

I made a Spotify playlist of all the goodness I found on my iPods for you, Friends!  Aren't you excited?  I know you are....maybe just a little bit, buried somewhere deep down inside.  I don't think there was anything too embarrassing on there, but I'll let you be the judge of that.  I'll admit that a few made me wonder why in the hell I ever bought them.  Not like they are bad songs, but Kung Fu Fighting? Really? What the hell was I doing that I felt the need to buy that song?

I started the rather time consuming process of making a list of all the songs and artists on the playlist for you, Friends, but then I decided not to do it.  Nope.  I don't want to spoil your fun.  You can listen to them in the same order I found them on my iPods and draw your own conclusions. (I only listed the duplicated songs one time.)

Please note that there are 2 songs I could not add to my playlist, as they are apparently not available on Spotify at the moment:  Empire Sate of Mind by Jay Z, and I Love Rock 'n Roll by Joan Jett & The Black Hearts.  (I could only find a cover version of the second song, and just no.)

There are 98 songs on that list.  6 hours and 42 minutes of music for your listening pleasure, according to Spotify.  If you think the music a person listens to speaks volumes about who they are, then feel free to dive in and try to decipher me. Probably perfect for the super curious, the seriously bored, or those stuck on a long flight with nothing better to do.

Maybe you will decide I have awesome taste in music.

Maybe you'll think I'm a freak and there is something seriously wrong with me.

Best case scenario: you'll discover a new favorite, or have a moment jamming out with a song you forgot you loved.

Do what you will, Friends.  It's there for you.  If you do take the time to explore it, feel free to let me know what you think.

Phone Notes Part IV

Hey, Friends.

Yup, it's time for more Phone Notes!  Or, if I'm being totally honest about the situation, we should really be calling this:

Things I Meant to Write About, Didn't Have Enough Time to Write About, and Then Promptly Forgot About

Doesn't sound quite as good, even if it's true.  These are the things that get swept by the wayside.  I obviously thought enough of them at some point to bother to make a note about them, fully intending to do something greater with them.  Although, I honestly don't know what the hell I was thinking with some of these as there is no way to expand upon it.  Think of it as a peek into what I thought was worth saving at the moment -- whether because it seemed amusing, important, or terribly deep at the time.  

Now a word for our newer Friends...

Hi there.  Phone Notes is something that has happened here a few times. There is no set pattern. Usually it occurs when I realize I have a crap-ton of stuff on my phone that I really should just clean out.  Rather than just delete it and send it into the void, I share it here with all of you.  I'm not saying there will be any ground-breaking revelations here.  You might even get done and wonder why you bothered to read my nonsense in the first place, and rethink how you could have better spent those precious moments of your life.  I hope it's not the latter, but I realize that it is a possibility.

So let's get to it, kids.  I don't remember the context -- or what particularly set me off if it's a rant -- for a lot of these tidbits.  When I do, I'll flesh it out a bit with additional information and/or commentary that looks like this. You will otherwise be getting exactly what I put in my phone, edited slightly to make it easier to read -- like fixing typos and auto-corrects, and adding punctuation so it isn't just a big blob of text.


1) We're starting with one in which I know exactly what was going on, so be proud.  I was on the train with my niece, Lili, headed to see Twenty One Pilots at Madison Square Garden.  I had used the app to buy the train tickets on my phone, but she didn't know that. She started asking questions about what happened if you got on the train without a ticket.  I told her I didn't really know -- I assume they just kicked you off.  It took me a second to realize that she was asking because we hadn't stopped to buy tickets, but once I explained that we had tickets she was good. The Universe, however, seemed to have heard her question and decided to give her an example, up close and personal.

People sitting right behind us on the train have no tickets.  Guy said the chick with him had them, but she had gone to use the bathroom.  One stop later she's back & conductor asks for tickets.  She doesn't have them.  They say they have no cash, no cards, no way to pay.  Conductor asks for ID. They say they don't have that either.  Conductor leaves and says he'll be back.

Conductor comes back at Garrison stop.  Tells them they have to get off here -- they aren't going to Grand Central.  Guy starts cursing and refuses to get off the train.  Conductor says we will all sit here while they call the cops to remove them.  Another conductor gets involved.  Magically she now has the ability to pay, but now her account will be "fucking negative".

Lili abandons me and puts on her headphones.  3 stops later and they are still fighting (loudly) about how this is all his fault.  Her account is "fucking negative" because he wouldn't stop at the bank on the way to the train.  She wants $44 at least to cover the ticket and the charges for going negative....

Still arguing half an hour later.  Apparently they have to catch a flight to Miami.  He has to be at work by 11?  Now she wants $80 and why did she even have to come here in the first place.  He says something about it being his birthday, and she says, "Well, it's not your fucking birthday anymore!"

**Now I'm curious: do they actually have plane tickets?  They have no luggage.  And if they didn't bring any ID, like they said, how the hell do they plan on boarding a plane?**

Fighting starts again as we near Grand Central.  She is still carrying on about her account going negative.  He loses his cool and says that he bought the plane tickets, he pays for everything when they are in Miami, what is her problem, it's his birthday and he wanted to see her, etc. She says he still owes her $44.  He finally snaps and yells at her to "Please, just shut the fuck up about the $44! You know I'll pay you back when we get there!"  And it seems to work.  For the last 5 minutes on the train I don't have to listen to them having the same endless argument.

2)  3/7/16 10 pm.  I'm seriously craving raspberry Jell-O right now.  I can't even begin to reason why. I haven't had Jell-O in ages.  Something about the idea of raspberry Jell-O just seems so perfect and I'm truly bummed by my inability to make this happen.

3) 4/16/16 @ 1:20 pm.  WRRV song played at 12:50 pm.  Random, but I know why I did this.  I must have been driving somewhere in my car, really liked the song they played, and jotted down the time so that I could attempt to look it up on the Song History later on their website.  Technology defeats me on many occasions.  I went from a car with a broken cassette player to one that has bluetooth, and plays from my phone, and has Sirius.  Totally skipped the whole CD player phase. While being awesome, it thwarts me when I want to use my phone to identify a song.  I've tried it several times (while parked, not driving) and it never works.  As soon as I touch my phone it either assumes I want to make a phone call, or it starts playing the music I have on my phone. I cannot get it to cooperate and just let me Shazam or ask Siri for the song. So now I am reduced to making notes and looking it up later.  And no, I have no idea what song inspired this.  I'm assuming I really like it though.

4)  "I like Britney Spears, but she sounds like a little girl when she sings." -- My nephew, the  9 year old music critic.  

5)  Found this in the donations at work:

A whole book about it. And no, I didn't read it. Is this true, guys?  Seems like poor decision making if you are actively choosing to marry someone because she is a bitch.  Then again, I'm single so what the hell do I know.

5)  I've got nothing on this next one.  I've no idea what I was looking at, but I'm assuming I was randomly flipping through Instagram late at night.  You know, when I should have been sleeping.

Did you ever look at someone's Instagram account, and it seems like every day they are at some amazing place or fabulous party?  I often wonder how much of that is real.  Like, did they really go to this crazy party and then climb a mountain the next day, or did they go to that party for like 5 minutes to take the picture and make themselves seem cool on social media?  I mean, maybe they really have the energy to do that kind of stuff every single day.  I don't know.  It makes me wonder what actual reality is versus what they want everyone to perceive as their life.

I don't know where I'm going with this.  If it's all spot on and accurate, then congratulations on your wonderful life.  If it's not, and this is all planned and choreographed to make yourself more popular on social media?  Then I feel bad for you, and a little bit worried.  Your self-worth should never be dependent on the number of "followers" you have, or how many "likes" your last picture got.  Yeah, it's a nice ego-boost, but don't make it the sum total of who you are.  I don't know you.  I don't even follow you.  But I hope you know you are more than that.

6)  You know those people who always seem to be in a good mood?  Like they are perpetually perky?  Normally it's cool.  I can even admire their spirit when they try to find the silver lining in a bad situation.  Other times they annoy the hell out of me and I kind of want to slap them back to reality with the rest of us.  I'm guessing I was in a bad mood.  Sorry.  I'm not a saint.

7)  Yesterday morning, on the way to work.  My mind was clearly blown.  Just got a bagel for breakfast.  They toasted it, and then they put butter on it before they put on the cream cheese.  Seemed weird, and I assumed they screwed it up, but OMG.  How have I not been doing this my entire life? I know it's just extra grease, essentially, but it was so unctuous and satisfying.  Or maybe I really enjoy butter in the morning more than I ever realized.

8)  Now you're in for a treat, Friends.  I found an old voice memo on my phone.  I was clearly irked with the behavior of some people on Twitter, but I honestly couldn't tell you now who it was that sent that final message that made me snap.  I'm guessing I probably don't follow them any more.  Added bonus (if you want to consider it that): you can hear me curse, and breathe loudly, because I apparently held the phone very close in the moment.

Listen to me rant! You know you want to!

And there you have it, Friends.  These are the kinds of things I find relevant enough to make notes about.  If you are just dying to see more of these little forgotten moments, you can find the previous installments of Phone Notes here:  The classic, original phone notes, Phone Notes II: Electric Bugaloo, and Part III.

Thanks for reading.  I hope you enjoyed our time together, reliving the flotsam of my mind. Don't feel obligated to click on those links.  It's really just the short version of the stuff I post here all of the time, except I didn't attempt to pretty it up or expand upon it.  I doubt it will give you deep insights into my warped mind.  Or maybe it will -- I honestly don't know.  I'm pretty sure you can get more than enough of my ramblings just by scrolling back through old posts.

Summer Is Music Season

Hey, Friends.

What do you think of when you think of Summer?  Nice weather, spending time at the beach, barbeques...all good things, for sure.  I also think of Summer as being music season.

Every season is music season, really.  Summer always seems to have more opportunities to enjoy it: it seems like more bands are on tour (maybe because there is less chance of bad weather screwing things up?), and there are tons of free concerts in the local parks.  I love going to concerts.  I'll go see pretty much anything.

Okay, that's kind of a lie.  I would never choose to go to a country music concert. Sorry. It's not my thing. I've been to some with people who wanted to go, and they were okay, but it would never be my first choice.  Not that they aren't talented musicians in their own right, I just don't like it.  Personal preference, people.

Why am I rambling on about this?  Well, the free concerts in the park have started here, and that got me thinking about all of the awesome concerts I got to see last year, and the ones I am looking forward to going to this year.

Shall we recap, Friends?  Yes, we shall.  Feel free to quit reading right now if you don't give a shit.  I'll never know the difference.

2015 In Review

First of all, there were the free concerts in the local parks.  They are always enjoyable -- different types of music that you might not normally get to see, and local bands you may not have heard of before.  Everyone should go and check them out!  It's an enjoyable evening, and you can bring a picnic.  What more do you need?

The Greyhounds are always great

Last June the BFF and I embraced our inner teeny-bopper and went to KFest at Dutchess Stadium. There were a lot of great performers there: Charlie XCX, Robin Thicke, and Flo Rida just to name a few.  The band I was most excited to see? Walk the Moon.  And they were fantastic.

Not the best picture, I admit

And then in July, the madness really began.

First off was Heffron Drive at Webster Hall with my niece.  New Friends: this was a fucking event because we actually got to meet them.  I even wrote a blog post about it.

My niece with Kendall and Dustin.  So damn adorable! (And see the James Maslow Save the Music t-shirt she is wearing?  Totally refused to wash it after this so as not to wash off the "Kendall loving".)

I've said it before, and I'll keep saying it: if you haven't checked out Heffron Drive's music, you really need to do so. Seriously.  I'll make it easy for you -- their latest release is below.  Just watch it.

Next up was Taylor Swift at MetLife Stadium.  It was a surprise for my niece, and my BFF went -- on crutches -- and was a total trooper.  So many damn stairs.  (Yeah.  There's a blog post about that one, too.)

Shawn Mendes was first

Vance Joy

Haim

And Taylor Swift, of course.

And I'm throwing this view of the crowd in just because I love it.

Next up was Of Monsters and Men at the Beacon Theater.  Got the tickets from a coworker who couldn't go.  Sucked for him, but worked out great for me!

And rounding out the year and the summer of music was Speed of Sound Fest. There was a full day of great music.  The final act was The Avett Brothers, and they were wonderful.  I was super-excited to see them.

I tried, people.  Yes, it's my own crappy video work.

And that rounds out the 2015 review, Friends.  Wow!  That was a lot of great music.

2016 Is Going To Be Epic!

Not gonna lie, Friends, it is already off to a pretty fantastic start.  A friend and I went to Foxwoods to see PVRIS, AWOLNATION, and Fall Out Boy on Wintour.  

I think you can figure it out on your own

AWOLNATION

Fall Out Boy

More Fall Out Boy

And that pretty much brings us up to date.  There have been a few free concerts in the park so far. This is a short clip from the Bearcats performing at Vanderbilt Mansion.  This is one of my favorite songs ever, St. James Infirmary.

Again, video is my own

And then things get really exciting.  This summer is going to include....

-- Going to Speed of Sound Fest with my niece, nephew, and the BFF.  The Lumineers, people!  

-- Taking my niece to see Twenty One Pilots at MSG.  Not sure which one of us is more excited about that!

-- Heffron Drive at Webster Hall!  Sadly, sans niece this time.  Stupid Texas starting school so early.

-- And rounding it out (at least at this point): All Time Low and Blink-182 at SPAC.  Hell yeah!  

I'm a little excited, Friends.  This summer is going to rock!  I had to get it all out of my system before I exploded.  

Sheer Dumb Luck

(AKA Sometimes Music Causes Problems)

Hey, Friends.

We all know there are certain things that one should NEVER do while driving. Some of them are illegal, some are not -- all are incredibly stupid things to attempt.

Don't drink and drive.

Don't text and drive.

Don't attempt to do your make-up and hair while driving.  (I literally saw a woman almost hit a guy in the crosswalk the other morning because she was trying to curl her eyelashes while driving. WTF is wrong with you, lady?)

As for myself, I also need to add to my personal list: don't get too distracted rocking out to the music that you forget to watch your speedometer.

Yeah.  I have a little problem with that, Friends.

This was established when I was in college.  I was in the car with friends, and we were on the way back from a concert and listening to Nine Inch Nails -- probably much louder than we normally would have been.  It was late, there was really no traffic at all.  We were out in the middle of nowhere.  I did not realize we were about to enter an intersection that apparently constituted a town, and that the speed limit was suddenly going to drop from 55 to 30.  I also did not see the police car parked just on the other side of the sign, waiting for someone like me to come along.  My friends were useless and didn't see the cop early either.  I managed to get down to 49 before he got me on radar.  This, as I was informed, was a good thing as it would have been much more expensive if I was 20 miles an hour or more over the speed limit.  Of course, the officer also opened with, "You coming back from the concert?"  He literally was just lying in wait to bust people.

Fair or not, I blame Trent Reznor for this ticket.  If I wasn't so absorbed in the music I might have noticed the change in the speed limit a little earlier.  To this day I will not listen to Nine Inch Nails while driving.

Jump ahead to this morning's incident.

I had to take my car in to get serviced.  Not a big deal, couple of recall issues to be dealt with. Everything came out just fine, and I was in my own happy little bubble on the way back home.  It's about a 30-45 minute drive, depending on the traffic.  I was on the highway, listening to whatever music I had on my phone since I didn't feel like hearing commercials.

I was rocking out, enjoying the fine musical stylings of Korn (as found above), when I heard the police siren in the distance and noticed the lights coming up behind me.

Have you ever had that moment, Friends, when you see the police car, look at your speedometer, and know without question that you are well and truly screwed? I was just about 15 miles an hour over the speed limit.  Fuck.

So, like a good person I slowed down and pulled off to the shoulder.  Maybe he was just on the way to an emergency.  Not that I wanted there to be an emergency, but it would be super-convenient for me if he was in a hurry to somewhere else.

And then I started to consider some things:

Does that excuse that you were "just keeping up with the flow of traffic" really work? Because I was totally keeping up with the flow.  We might have been in the front of the flow, but there were several cars together.  Heck, that car from Connecticut blew past me about a mile back like I was standing still!  If I try that excuse, is it a legitimate reason to be speeding, or is it going to result in the officer giving me a look like "Bitch, please," and getting annoyed?  I know how I feel when patrons at work make up lame excuses to try and get out of overdue fees. 

I had a roommate in college whose father was a District Attorney, and she swore that if we ever got pulled over we should just start crying.  She said cops don't know what to do when confronted with a crying female.  Well, that's not going to happen.  That seems a little lame and pathetic to even attempt.

Okay. Breathe. It's going to be okay. I will just sit here and hope for the best.  Maybe the cop will go right on by.  I will not give a lame excuse and tick off the officer.  I will not cry....unless he is really mean and wants to arrest me or something, in which case I will probably freak the hell out.  I will just sit here and suck it up, as I know I am totally busted and deserve the ticket.  Also, I am worthless at trying to lie so there is no point in trying to come up with an imaginary valid reason to be speeding.

And then the police car flew right on by me.

I really almost did cry then.  Tears of pure joy and relief.

I got back on the road -- doing the speed limit this time.  A little farther down the road, and there is Mr. Police Officer, and he has pulled over the car from Connecticut.  I don't know where they started following him, or what speed they clocked him at, but I'm pretty sure that dude is screwed.

What did we learn here today, Friends?

1) Speeding is bad.  Don't be like me.  Be a safe driver who doesn't have a mini panic attack when they think a cop is about to bust them.

2) Don't be like the dude from Connecticut.  There's speeding, and then there is driving like a bat out of hell.  Also, don't be that stupid in a different state. There is far less chance that he will come back to fight the ticket versus someone more local.

3) Korn is now on my list of "Artists Whose Music I Cannot Listen To While Driving".  Sorry, guys.  The temptation to speed is just too great.

His Purple Majesty

Hey, Friends.

I'm sure by now you heard the very sad and shocking news that Prince passed away yesterday. I was at work when I heard the news and I was devastated.  I was really hoping this was going to be one of those horrible internet rumors that make the rounds.

You know how kids -- especially tween girls -- tend to latch on to an artist and go all fangirl about it? When we were little.....I'm guessing maybe 5th or 6th grade...my best friend (who shall remain nameless in this little story) and I lost our minds over Prince and Purple Rain.  Yeah.

I'm not even sure how it popped up on our radar to begin with.  I have this vague memory about one of our babysitters or another older kid in the neighborhood accidentally introducing it to us.  You know, someone in high school who was obviously way cooler than us and that we needed to emulate. We heard it and were hooked.  We asked what it was, and they told us.  And then in the next sentence told us that it "wasn't for babies" and we shouldn't be listening to it.

Friends, I think you know what happened after that. I mean, that is just like issuing a double-dog dare to get our hands on the album.  This shit was going to be ours.  We were not babies!

Somehow one of us got a copy of it.  Like new from the store and everything.  That pretty much meant we both had a copy as the other immediately copied it.  I honestly don't remember how that came to pass.  Maybe one of our parents bought it, but if they did they obviously had no clue what the lyrics to those songs said or it never would have happened.  Hell, I'm pretty sure we didn't even understand what half the lyrics were talking about at the time, but we loved the music. The idea that we weren't supposed to be listening to it just made it even better.

We would spend hours with my brother, and sometimes his friends, down in the cellar rocking out to Let's Go Crazy.  My parents' cellar is not a nice finished basement.  It's filled with random stuff being stored, the washing machine is down there, and it floods when it rains.  This was obviously before my arachnophobia formed.  The ceilings were low.  It wasn't normally a cool place to hang out is my point.  However, we could be as loud as we wanted to down there and my mother didn't care because she knew where we were and we weren't bothering her or fighting with each other.  We learned all the lyrics to the song and air-guitared (is that a word?  It is now.) all over the place.  We didn't have a video camera, but we plotted out elaborate stories to go with all of the songs.  We were making our own kick-ass music videos in our minds.  Imagination is a beautiful thing.

We weren't stupid, though.  Even we knew enough that you did not play Darling Nikki where a parent could hear it or we would never be allowed to listen to Prince again.

Little Red Corvette and Raspberry Beret were safer options to listen to where parents could potentially overhear.  We didn't have a raspberry beret, but we did have a big, bright pink, floppy beach hat and a matching feather boa that we acquired from a yard sale.  You best believe we rocked that shit out of that ensemble in my friend's bedroom while dancing around like lunatics to the song.

That's just a bit of it, Friends.  It was a life-long love affair with Prince and his music from then on.

To this day I don't know how we ever got away with listening to Purple Rain when we did.  I have a vivid memory from the same time of my father washing my mouth out with soap for using the phrase "Jesus Christ" in less than savory terms while yelling at the bully down the street who had just done something to piss off and/or hurt my best friend.  If he knew what those songs were about there is no way we would have been allowed to listen to that album.

Rest in Peace, Prince.  You are the soundtrack to some incredible memories.  You were a treasure and a gift to the world.

Happy New Year....Maybe?

Happy New Year, Friends!

I know it hasn't been 2016 too terribly long, but I hope it's going well for you so far. Mine's been pretty good, lots of room for improvement though.  That's what the New Year is for, right?  A fresh start.  365 days to fill with new adventures.  Maybe I'll travel to some exotic locale.  Maybe this will be the year I finally find someone who will put up with me get a boyfriend.  Sky's the limit!

I'd like you to join me in a game I am currently playing, Friends.  You don't have to do anything but keep reading.  It's a lazy person's game (also works if you are hungover.  I don't know what all you got up to last night).  All you have to do is sit around and ponder the possibilities.  Sound good? Excellent! Because that's what we are doing.

Friends, allow me to introduce you to a game I am calling:

What's Up With the Neighbors?

How To Play:  I will provide you with the meager amount of evidence I have, and then we will think of all the things that might be going on.

Why Are We Doing This:  Because we can.  Because I am bored of playing it by myself and decided to share my fun imaginary game.  Because Jazz-kitty woke me up way too early to get her breakfast.  I also might be procrastinating on starting to clean the house.  All valid reasons.  

Ready?  Let's begin.

Evidence (aka Flimsy Amount of Details That I Have Gathered):

-- Last night was New Year's Eve.  People celebrate in lots of different ways.  Some people go out and get totally smashed, some go out to a fancy and romantic dinner, some stay at home and have a quiet celebration, some just sleep right through it and don't care.  I have no idea what the neighbors did.

-- My cat is a spoiled brat and woke me up much earlier than I wanted so that I could feed her breakfast.  It was when I went into the kitchen to get her food that I first noticed something was going on at one of the houses nearby. I could hear the music they were playing while I was in my kitchen.

-- There are 2 possible houses that could be the source of the music.  The neighbors in question are usually pretty quiet and keep to themselves.  They are friendly and will chat, don't get me wrong.  I just don't see them outside very often.  They also have a lot of   people who are always around. I'm not really sure how many of them actually live in either house.  I don't pay that much attention.

-- I did not notice anything unusual when I got home last night.  There was no sign of a wild party raging in the near vicinity, no police or emergency vehicles hanging around.  I wasn't drunk and overlooked it, since I drove.  It was cold, and I hurried inside. 

-- Somebody in the neighborhood felt the need to set off fireworks around 1:30 this morning.  I don't know who it was.  I was snuggly warm in bed and trying to sleep, and I chose to stay there hoping it was going to be a short round of holiday craziness.

-- The same song has been playing, on repeat, for almost 2 hours now.  Possibly longer.  I can only vouch for the amount of time I have had to listen to it.  

-- It's the choice of song that really makes this game fun and increases the possibilities.

Aw, yeah...someone had an interesting night!  

Now We Ponder the Possibilities:

1)  Someone had a reallly good time. Like they might still be celebrating and/or reliving the night.

2) Someone is having a moment.  Maybe they can't remember what happened last night.  Or maybe they remember exactly what happened last night and are now in the midst of an existential crisis, trying to come to grips with the situation.

3) Someone passed the hell out with their music on and this song is going to play until they finally wake up and turn it off.  Or someone gets annoyed/concerned enough to call the cops.

4) Their friends dropped their drunk ass off at home, and decided it would be hilarious to leave this song playing for their friend to wake up to in the morning.

5) Someone had a party.  Whomever was in charge of the music left it playing, and now there is no one there who knows how the technology works and they can't turn it off.  

6) They really, really love this song and want to share it with the whole neighborhood.

That's all I've come up with so far.  Join in my game, Friends!  What do you think is going on with my neighbors?  

Right now, I'm just glad I like Jamie Foxx and this song.  It makes the whole thing highly amusing. Other songs could have made this much more worrying, depressing, and/or annoying.  

Happy New Year, Friends.  Hope you are having a great start to the year!  

**Edit:  And just short of the 3 hour mark, the music has stopped.  Well, at least I know whomever it was is alive and functioning.**

Can You Hear It?

Hey, Friends.

I love music.  Not a big declaration, I realize, as I don't know anyone who doesn't at least appreciate music. I think I need to share some backstory in the hopes that this will all make a bit more sense.

When I was in kindergarten, my elementary school music teacher let me start playing the recorder with the "big kids".  I was the only one who got to do it.  I'm not sure what she saw in me that said I should do it, but I loved it.  I thought I was so cool.

When we got older and got to pick out a "real" instrument to play, I chose the flute.  Why?  Because of this:

At some point I had seen James Galway play this song on television, and I was fascinated.   My parents even got me one of his albums so I could listen to it around the house.  I played the flute and sang in chorus all through elementary school.

Once we got to Middle School, however, you kind of had to pick a side.  You couldn't (or at least not with my schedule) do both band and chorus, so I chose band.  I was in the band all through Middle School and High School.  I joined the marching band in high school and ended up playing the piccolo in it, as well as in the concert band.  I took private lessons, went to NYSSMA -- I was a total flute geek.

I think it was back in sixth or seventh grade, everyone had to take a basic music appreciation type of class -- even if you were already in the band.  You had to learn the basics of how to read music (there were a lot of kids who didn't play an instrument and didn't know how), and I remember we had to learn on a paper print-out of a keyboard where the notes were located.  It sounds silly, but I always thought the most helpful part of that whole class was the paper keyboard.  I never took piano lessons, but after that I knew where the notes were on a real piano or keyboard.  My parents got me a little Casio electric keyboard, and I would amuse myself for hours, trying to play sheet music for my flute on the keyboard, or picking out tunes by ear from songs I had heard.  It was a very exciting life I led in Middle School.

Friends, you know how when you go bowling, and you do a really terrible job of aiming the bowling ball?  I find myself standing at the lane, waving my arm in the direction I want the ball to go, like I am going to magically correct my shitty aim with the power of my mind.  You can deny it, but I know I'm not the only one who does that.  I've seen other people trying to do the same thing. 

 I do something similar when I hear someone attempting to sing, and they are not quite reaching the notes.  My mother and I took my niece and nephew to a concert in the park one summer, near the Fourth of July.  It was a full concert band with a featured female singer.  The kids weren't paying the slightest bit of attention, running around and having a great time.  My mother and I were listening to the concert.  The band itself was great.  The singer?  Not so much.  I figured the first song wasn't so hot because of nerves -- there were a lot of people there to watch.  After two more songs?  I'm convinced this woman either can't actually sing, or she is somehow not remotely hearing the music from the full concert band directly behind her.  Most of it was okay, but when she would try for the big dramatic notes?  Ouch.  She would warble around the note -- flat, then sharp, sliding all around it without ever successfully landing on the note where she was meant to be.  People would clap and say how good she did. No.  No clapping for you!  You are literally making my ears twitch.  She would go for a big, long, dramatic note and I would find myself squinting my eye and tilting my head, as if I could will her to get just that little bit less flat and nail it, or as if tipping my one ear higher into the air would somehow make her voice that little bit higher and on pitch.  That was the most painful concert I have ever been forced to sit through.  (There were fireworks afterward, so totally had to stay for those or I would have bailed early on.)

I do have a point to this entire ramble that you just read, promise.  

I have this thing that happens at fairly often.  I don't know what you would call it, in all fairness.  It's not really a talent.  I don't know that it's a personality trait or quirk either.  It's just a thing. Sometimes I hear a song, and it usually happens the first time I hear it, and it immediately makes me think of another song.  I'm not talking about the songs with obvious samples in it that the artist pretty much expects people to recognize.  It's something different, and it's not always the same thing. Maybe it's the melody, or the bass line.  Some visceral, ephemeral thing about that song immediate connects it to another song in my brain.  

This is where you come in, Friends.  

I've tried pointing these out to friends and family who I know listen to a wide range of music, hoping they hear it too.  Most of the time I get a responses like, "No. They sound nothing alike.  How did you even come up with that?" or "You're crazy. They are completely different."  Once in a while I'll get a, "They do sound a little similar. Maybe it was the same writer or producer or something."  Maybe those people are just more polite and don't want to hurt my feelings.  Very, very rarely will anyone ever agree with me.

Friends, I want to give you three examples.  Let's start with the one that I could find absolutely no one to agree with me on, shall we?  

First up:  E-Pro by Beck and So What Cha Want by the Beastie Boys.  When I first heard E-Pro, I was immediately reminded of the Beastie Boys.  No one else seems to make the same connection. Tell me I'm not alone on this, please?

Example number two:

E.T. by Katy Perry and All The Things She Said by t.A.T.u. -- This one wasn't immediate.  I had heard the Katy Perry song numerous times without making the connection.  I hadn't heard the t.A.T.u. song in a long time, and it wasn't until I heard it on Pandora (Maybe? Either that or the regular radio) that something in my brain clicked and linked the two together.  I found one person who would agree with me that they sounded kind of similar.

Example Three:

This one just happened yesterday morning, as I was scraping ice off of my car.  A neighbor somewhere had music playing loudly, but it was muffled and at a distance -- like it was coming from inside their house, or in a running car with all of the doors and windows shut.  I was enjoying it, but when they opened the door/window/whatever-they-did and it got louder, I realized it was a completely different song than I thought.  I had never heard the song they were playing before, so I Shazam-ed it (yes, I'm using Shazam as a verb.  Deal with it.) on my phone.  I haven't told anyone about this latest bit of musical madness in my brain, so you get to be in on the ground floor, Friends.

This is the song that, it turns out, was actually playing.  I had never heard this before, although I have heard of the band.  I know they're really popular.  I don't live under a rock.  I just haven't actively sought out any of their music to listen to yet.

Hey Everybody!  by 5 Seconds of Summer

And here is the song that I thought I had been hearing:

Hungry Like the Wolf by Duran Duran

They sound really similar, right?  That's not just some weird shit going on in my brain. Tell me you can hear it, Friends. Or tell me I'm totally cracked in the head. Tell me I should just keep all my strange little musical moments to myself as no else gets them.  

Tell me anything, Friends.  There's got to be at least one other person out there somewhere who gets where I'm coming from with these.  I refuse to believe I am the only one who gets these little connections when they hear music.

In Which My Cat Might Be an Evil Genius

Hey Friends.

A while ago -- like two and a half years worth of a while ago -- I introduced you all to my cat Jazmine, also known as Jazz-kitty or Jazzie.  You can read about her here.

Isn't she cute?  Doesn't look like the face of a (potentially) evil, technologically-gifted genius.  

I already knew that given the right conditions Jazz-kitty was fully capable of taking a selfie.  She might actually be better at it than I am, which is sad.  She knows the sound my iPhone makes when I get a text and will look around for it.  For a cat she is a very tech-savvy little girl, and that's why I shouldn't really be so surprised by what she managed to pull off on Tuesday morning.

I had the day off on Tuesday since I have to work this Saturday.  (Boo!  Still not happy about working 3 weekends in a row.)  Normally when I have a day off I turn my phone to "silent" before I go to bed because I really want to sleep in.  That lesson was learned when I was on vacation visiting my family in Texas a few years ago and I got a text at an ungodly hour of the morning to tell me the library was closed for the day due to a storm -- like I really cared when I was on vacation.

Back to my point....

Normally I turn the phone to "silent", and it shut it in the drawer of my bedside table with my car keys.  Why?  I live alone.  In my warped little brain, it makes total sense to keep those things close at night.  If someone were to break in I could grab those things, try to grab the cats, jump out one of the bedroom windows, and still be able to call the police and/or get away in my car.  (Yeah.  I make plans for this shit.  Helps me to sleep at night.  No judging.)

As I was coming off working six days straight, I wasn't paying my normal attention when I went to bed Monday night.  Between work and the holidays I was exhausted.  I can't really place all of the blame on Jazz-kitty for being an evil genius because I screwed up and left the potential for the situation to happen.

Tuesday morning, at 5:42 am, I woke up to this blaring out of my phone.

I never thought Harry Belafonte would scare the shit out of me

Friends, you know that moment when you are startled from sleep, and your heart is racing and you think you could possibly have a heart attack?  Your brain is all fuzzy, and it takes you a moment to even realize where you are before you can even contemplate what the hell is going on?  Add to that the fact that I didn't have my glasses on or my contacts in, since I had been sleeping, and it was a blurry world of adrenaline-fueled confusion.

Where was the music coming from, and how was this even happening?  My only clue was the Jazz-kitty shaped outline in the dark, leaping from the top of the bedside table and bolting out of the room.  I probably scared her when I suddenly woke up and sat up in bed.  Of course, she also does that when she knows she is about to be busted for doing something naughty -- like knocking everything off the top of a book shelf because she feels she is not getting enough attention.  She loves to move things -- especially shiny, pretty things -- which is why the phone gets shut away.  

Where is Harry Belafonte coming from, and how do I make him stop singing!

Screw putting on glasses.  I just want to go back to sleep.  I has to be somewhere nearby because it is loud.

My first thought was my Kindle Fire, since I had been using it before I went to sleep.  Nope.  Screen is black and it is totally silent.

Well, it obviously isn't my alarm clock because I did not turn that thing on, and it would have made the wretched, much-hated beeping noise anyway.

It had to be my phone.  But how....

And then I noticed that the drawer that I put my phone in was not closed all the way.  It was open a few inches -- just enough for the screen of my phone to be visible.

Now, I can't swear that this is what happened, Friends, since I had been asleep, but this is the theory I have developed based on the context clues.

-- I made some mistakes.  I did not turn the phone to "silent".  I also must not have shut the drawer with the phone in it all the way.

-- Jazz-kitty has a deep and abiding fascination with my phone.  If it is left unattended she will touch it and move it given the chance.  It is shiny, and lights up, and vibrates, and makes noises.  She could also be the poster-child for the saying "curiosity killed the cat".  Have you had to pluck your cat off the top of a curtain rod she was using as a balance beam while watching birds outside?  I have.

--  I got several notifications that came through on my phone while I was asleep.  While they might have been silent (or at least not loud enough to wake me) they would make the face of the phone light up.

--  Jazz-kitty either heard the notifications, or saw the glow of the light coming out of the drawer since the room was dark.  Being a nosey-posey, she went to investigate.  Extra exciting because it was coming from the "Drawer of Things She Shouldn't Be Touching".

The next part has me a bit stymied, and it is where the Evil Technological Genius factor comes into play.

-- I have a passcode on my phone.  It locks after a minute.  It had been hours since I last used the phone.  Even if she tapped on a notification, it would still need the code.  That means she somehow managed to bypass the lock, find the music, and randomly get it to start playing a song.  How the hell is that even possible?

And that's where my theory runs out.  

The only other thing I've found to explain it is this. (Thanks, Google!)  Now, I have an iPhone 4s, but maybe the same thing could happen?  I've never had it spontaneously start playing music before, but I suppose if a curious Jazz-kitty shook it around enough it could do it.

Or it could be Apple's way of telling me I really need to update my phone.

Or my phone is possessed.  There's probably a reason the previous home owner left rosaries hanging in the cellar.  I don't know what kind of bad juju they are keeping at bay, but I have left them right where they are.

Keep up the good work!

So I'm going with Jazz-kitty being a tech-genius.  That's far less disturbing than some of the other possibilities.  (And I really love my phone, and I'm hoping this isn't a sign that it is on its last legs.) 

     

Different Perspectives, One Concert

Hey, Friends.  So remember that surprise I was planning for my niece?  (Probably not, but I'm going to pretend that you do if you are reading this. It works much better than realizing I am, for the most part, talking to myself here.)  Well, I still haven't told her about it, but in the meantime a second surprise has come along for her -- and I am so excited about it!

I don't know about you, but I have a pretty wide range of music that I like.  If I'm being completely honest, Country is about the only type I really just can't get too excited about.  It's okay, but I have never once felt the overwhelming urge to just turn on a Country station and listen.  I like a few songs, but I really can't get into it -- that's just me.  I'm willing to give pretty much anything a shot, though. When suggestions of bands I might like pop up on Spotify or Twitter, for example, I'm game to check them out.  I've found a few bands I really like that way, although I would be hard-pressed now to tell you exactly when, where, or how I first stumbled across them.

One such band that I found in this manner is Heffron Drive.  I fell in love with their music immediately.  You should check them out if you haven't yet had the pleasure of listening to their albums.  I also started following them on Twitter, to keep up with concert announcements, new music -- you know how it works.

What does this have to do with my niece and a surprise?  I'm getting to it, but it's a round-about story.

Back to how I like to explore the "suggested" bands that pop up.  A few months ago I noticed on Spotify that it kept suggesting that I might also like Big Time Rush.  I liked their music when I gave it a listen.   I had no idea who they were, although the name sounded vaguely familiar and I couldn't place why.  I had to Google it, of course.

And then I felt silly.  Of course they sounded vaguely familiar -- my niece had mentioned them before. I had no clue that it had been a huge television show/band hybrid thing on Nickelodeon.  One of these days I will have to catch an episode of the show to check it out.  I'm kind of intrigued to see how the music and the show fit together.

Which brings us back to the recent past.  I had seen on Twitter that Heffron Drive was going to be playing a concert in New York City.  Hell yeah!  I am so there.  I don't give a rat's ass if I have to go by myself, I will be going to that concert.  Music is music.  If you like it, then go support the artists so they can keep making it.

And then I had a stroke of brilliance.

My brother, my niece, and my nephew just arrived here on Friday for vacation.  Maybe my niece would like to go with me.  I brought the idea up with my brother.

Me: Does Lili still like Big Time Rush?
Brother: You mean BTR?
Me: I take it that's a yes.

He was cool with the plan for her to go to the concert with me.  My niece was all kinds of excited for going, especially once I told her that I had gotten tickets that included the Meet & Greet.  She knows BTR, but she is only now becoming familiar with Heffron Drive since I told her she was going to the concert.

My mother?  Not happy with these plans.  She is convinced I am going to get us completely lost or get her granddaughter axe-murdered by taking her to New York City.  Some highlights from the conversation:

"Your brother is okay with this?"
"What if you get lost?"
"Do you know what kind of a nervous wreck I am going to be?"
"I'm not worried about you getting there -- I'm worried about you wandering around in the dark afterward."

Seriously?  I'm slightly offended.  I'm a responsible adult.  I have a job, I own a home.  Most importantly, I would f$%king die before I let anything happen to my niece.  Of course, this is also the woman who would not let my brother and I ride a Ferris Wheel -- ever -- when we were little because she had read a news article about one that fell apart at a fair somewhere.  She was slightly more perturbed when my father also had no problem with this plan.

I had to swear that I would have my best friend, who has worked in the city for years, on speed dial in case we have a problem.  My friend found the situation amusing, and even said that I should tell my mother that she said we would be completely fine.  Don't think it made much of a difference.

Long story short: this is happening. Surprise #2 for my niece this summer will be happening on Wednesday. I'm stoked to see Heffron Drive perform, and my niece is excited about getting to see Kendall from Big Time Rush.  Two different perspectives on the same concert.  I'm sure it will be awesome!

Jazz-kitty: Music Critic

Yesterday was a long day.  Last night found me just winding down, listening to some music while I was baking a cake to take to work today.  Yes, I find baking relaxing.  I don't care if you think that makes me weird.

Anyway, I had Pandora on the Top Hits station, and Taylor Swift's I Knew You Were Trouble came on.  I wasn't paying much attention to it, just had it on in the background.  You know, when you kind of want some music but you don't really care what it is?  That's where I was at.

Jazz-kitty starts bugging out.  Running around like a crazy thing -- into the kitchen, out of the kitchen, into the kitchen, etc.  She does this on a fairly regular basis. Sometimes she is annoyed because I'm not giving her all of my attention, sometimes it is because the weather is nice and she is just hyper.  She freaks out if I have been gone longer than usual at work-- will meet me at the door and then take off running all over.  Sometimes she is just nosy and is watching the neighbors outside in their yards, or the birds, and running from window to window.  My point is this:  there are a lot of reasons Jazz-kitty could be acting like a little spaz.

The Taylor Swift song ends, and she calms right down.

No way!

Could Jazz-kitty seriously have been protesting Taylor Swift?  Has my little cat become a music critic?  I had to investigate.

I go straight to iTunes and buy the song on my phone.  I go into the living room, turn up the volume, and start playing the song on my phone.  Jazz-kitty comes running in from the other room and tries to beat my iPhone senseless.

She really does not like this song.....

I wonder if she hates other songs and I have just never made the correlation before between her bugging out and the music playing?

So I put the phone on Shuffle, and lay it on the couch cushion.  I really don't want her to destroy the phone, but maybe it is the music coming out of the phone itself that she thinks is some sort of a toy.

First song up is Let's Go Crazy by Prince.  No reaction from Jazzy.  Interesting.  I guess the iPhone-as-toy theory has been proven wrong.

Owl City Fireflies?  That has potential -- there are some high pitches in there, maybe that is bothering her ears?  No reaction.

Okay -- no more random shuffle.  Let's narrow this down.

I try a few different female singers and get no response.  She actually laid down when Beyonce was on, like she was getting a little kitty lullaby or something.

I tried Dropkick Murphys thinking the bagpipes might bother her, if nothing else.  Nope.

So I put the Taylor Swift song on again.  Jazz-kitty gets up and starts smacking her paws on the iPhone.  Seriously cat?  It really is just T-Swift you hate?

I went back to iTunes and bought one of her older songs, Love Story, to see if that would have the same effect.  It did not.  Jazzy gave the phone dirty looks, but she didn't attack it.

So I bought that We Are Never Getting Back Together song.  Jazzy was not a fan.  Flipped the phone right over and almost knocked it onto the floor.

Apparently Jazz-kitty is not a Taylor Swift fan, but if she has to listen to the music she prefers the older songs and not her newer work.

Jazz-kitty even took a self-portrait for all of you!  I started the "evil" T-Swift song that freaks her out, and then I switched the phone to camera and reversed it, then put it on the couch.  Jazzy, as we all knew would happen, starts attacking the phone.  My experiment worked, and she kind of took a picture of herself.

What a smart, tech-savvy little girl!

**On the off-chance that Taylor Swift actually ever sees this at some point:  (Highly unlikely, but you never know.)**

Dear Taylor Swift,

Hi there.  

I do not mean to imply in any way that all cats hate your music, or just your newer hits.  

I have two cats -- the other is named Whiz, and she is older and far calmer than Jazzy.  She did not care one way or the other about any of the music I played, and chose to sleep through all of this nonsense.

I just think Jazz-kitty is adorable, and this amused me to no end.  Hopefully other people find it funny as well or I will just come off looking like one of those bat-shit crazy cat ladies.  

Thanks for not suing me into non-existence over this, or writing a song about what an evil person I am.  :)