I've been neglecting you, I know. I'm a terrible person. I feel bad. Promise.
Worse yet, this isn't even a real post. I mean it is a post, but it really isn't because it is more phone notes -- drivel I saved in my phone with every intention of expanding on it here, but then I got too busy or distracted by something and didn't ever get around to doing anything with it. If you been hanging around here for a while you know the drill. If you are just finding your way here? You can check out my earlier installments of blathering here and over here.
I wasn't really sure about doing yet another set of phone notes, but I've got to get this stuff off my phone. The poor thing needs to be coddled and it's storage space needs to be respected. We're trying to save the life of my iPhone, Friends.
So, without further ado, please enjoy the things I thought were amusing and/or interesting at one point, and then chose to forget about entirely.
1) When someone refers to a coworker as your "work husband": sometimes that is okay. In certain cases you have to bite your tongue to keep from explaining -- in great detail -- why there is no way in hell that is true, and how you never want to hear a reference to said person being your "husband" in any way, shape, or form ever again.
2) I think there should be a television show set in a public library -- like The Office or Parks & Recreation. (If such a thing already exists, someone please point me to it!) It would need a snazzy theme song, though. On more than one occasion I have found myself pondering the possibilities. I'm not a composer myself, so it has to be an existing song. My favorite of the moment is this one:
3) Just missed a call that my phone tells me came from Tonganoxie, Kansas. To the best of my knowledge I don't know anyone from Tonganoxie, but I do like the name.
4) The Christmas season brings many gifts. Among them (depending on how you look at it) is the gift of learning which of your friends/family/associates have no idea of the difference between Merry, Marry, and Mary.
5) Have you ever been in the line at the grocery store, started reading the headlines on the scandal/gossip magazines, and felt like a loser? Forget the truth or accuracy of said reporting, because
a lot most of it is completely made-up crap. (I really don't understand how some of these things haven't been sued into non-existence, but I digress.) According to the headlines, this one celebrity has gotten divorced, started dating, and gotten pregnant in the same amount of time that I have been on two dates that went nowhere. I seriously begin to question what is fundamentally wrong with me and have to remind myself that most of this shit isn't true. Plus, it must totally suck if you are the person this stuff is being written about. How must the people in those headlines feel when they are waiting in line at the grocery store?
6) Just overheard a coworker tell someone that they should refer all the "Big, scary people with lots of tattoos" to me because "She's fine with it, and they seem to like her better." -- Honestly, this explains so much. I can't even begin to describe how much sense this makes of my life at work.
I have issues sending flowers to Texas. Click here if you want the story.
I think I have wasted enough of your time now, Friends. I'm honestly kind of surprised if you made it this far. Thanks for reading...you know, assuming you still are at this point.