Why I Love Spoiler Alerts

Hey there, Friends.

Do you know what I really love and appreciate? Spoiler Alerts. I know, that's kind of a random thing to be keen on, but I am. Even if it's just a description of a video so you know what's in it and can avoid seeing it if you want.

I know I might be in the minority on this one. I understand that there are a lot of people who are super passionate about things -- an artist, music, a movie, etc. -- and want as much information on it as humanly possible at all times. I get it. You're excited about it and want to share that excitement with other people. You can geek out with like-minded people and have conversations that make it even better. I feel you, I honestly do. I'm the same way about some things quite often.

Here's my deal, and it might make me sound like a cranky old grandma who needs to get with the times and get over herself and realize that it's just the way the world works nowadays.

I don't ever skip to the end of a book or a story. If there's a movie I want to see I try not to have it ruined by seeing the entire plot or the ending posted somewhere online ahead of time. I buy all of the music I want to listen to. I know that there are songs out there in existence that were leaked, but I haven't ever listened to them. If the artist who created them wanted them out there in the public realm they would have shared them. Maybe he/she wasn't happy with it, or it wasn't the final product. I'm sure there are many reasons it didn't get released. Somebody leaking it and posting it all over the place is tantamount to stealing, in my opinion.

To be brief: I want to experience whatever it is the way the artist intended it to be. A lot of time and effort was put into creating whatever type of work it may be, of bringing it into existence. Sharing music before the creator wishes, or giving away an entire plot line before most people have had a chance to see the movie, is a pretty shitty way to express your appreciation and gratitude for all of their work.

The internet makes things more complicated.

I follow very few fan accounts. I try to make sure the ones that I do are legit. Do they tell you what they are posting? Do they give credit to the source of pictures/videos? I can only hope that also means they asked permission to share them, but that might be me being hopefully naive. I'm not cool with people swiping pictures and videos from private accounts. I mainly follow other fans. Normally it's people who somehow found me first, and when I look at their account they seem like good people...as much as that can be judged by anything on the internet. At least they don't seem like a bot or a creepy stalker.

Let's talk about music, specifically. I follow the official accounts -- the band, maybe a few specific band members, etc. I don't follow people's family members, their friends, their significant other. That's just a little too creepy/stalkery to me. Everyone deserves their privacy. I don't follow all of the family members of my friends, so why in the world would it be any of my business what people somehow associated with an artist I like are doing?

Here's the thing about music. I know that the artists must know that once they perform a song live it's going to be out there on the internet getting shared, whether they are ready to release it or not. I get that. The cat's out of the bag, so to speak.

Maybe they encouraged everyone at the show to shoot video and post it. Free publicity and a way to get people more excited about hearing the new music. I've seen it happen, especially with bands that don't have millions or even thousands of followers. Make that social media work in your favor and get some new fans! I've also been to shows where the artist has specifically said no pictures or videos, and security will kick your ass to the curb if they catch you doing so. Most of the time nothing is stated either way and you can do whatever you wish.

So here's my moral quandary, and feel free to tell me I have a stick up my ass and need to chill. After a concert there are always a ton of pictures and videos being posted and shared around. For those of you who actually take the time to label it -- New Song! -- I thank you. I'm probably going to skip watching it. It's not that I'm not curious and dying to hear it, but I'd rather hear it in person myself for the first time or when it is finally released. I don't want to hear it for the first time through a video of dubious quality. Maybe the artist is cool with it, maybe they specifically asked not to have that shit posted, or maybe they have resigned themselves to the fact that it will be online before they ever leave the stage.Whatever the case, I'm going to skip it, and I love that the person posting it took the time to give a warning as to the content.

What annoys the hell out of me are the videos posted with no context whatsoever. Where is this even from? I've already explained I'm not okay with people posting things from private accounts, and I also think you need to give credit to the source. The part that really frosts my buns is when it's new music. I'd prefer not to have the first time I hear something be via a retweet of a repost of an Instagram story made from a video posted god only knows where of a concert held some unspecified place that has been manipulated a bunch of times and has the shittiest audio quality in the world. I don't know what the hell I'm watching at first, and it takes a second to realize it's new music. And yes, I realize it's partially my fault for not turning off autoplay on videos. It doesn't make me want to hear the song more. I'm already curious about it. It does make me wonder how much of it is the craptastic quality of the audio by that point, and how far removed it might be from what it originally sounded like. There comes a point when what is being shared is probably not something the artist would be happy about. I'm not a musician, but I feel pretty sure that no one has the goal of saying, "I hope this video that sounds like absolute shit gets spread all over the place! I totally want people to think my new song sounds like crap before I even release it, or maybe they will think I just can't perform live and decide it's not worth coming to a concert!"

Yeah, this kind of turned into a rant. Sorry, Friends.

I realize there are many more important things going on in the world that deserve attention. I've just seen too many spoilers for too many things in recent days. I've about reached my breaking point. Just know that if you post a spoiler warning or even a brief description of what's coming I appreciate you to no end. Every one of us is different and likes different things. I might not want to see or hear something, but that same thing might make other people giddy with excitement and even more stoked about what's coming. To each their own.

So yes, you are free to tell me I'm cranky for no reason. That I need to accept that anything and everything is up for grabs and to be shared on the internet these days. That everyone has the right to determine for themselves how to navigate through the moral quagmire of what should and shouldn't be posted. You already know how I feel.

Year In Pictures

Hey, Friends.

I know now is the time when everyone starts writing up their year in review, reflecting on the past and looking toward the future. I'm not going to do that - not really.

2017 was a shitty year. I'm not talking about politics (although that does contribute to it). Everything and anything that could go wrong seemed to feel the need to do so this past year. There were good things too, of course. I'm not trying to get all maudlin on you. Let's just say I'm looking forward to the new year and leaving this one behind.

So, rather than rehash the entirety of the year, I decided to do it with pictures. I know, I know, that everyone does that "Best 9" thing on Instagram. I'm guilty of having done it as well. Mine always seems to come out with a group from the same time period, so I decided to go back and find the picture with the most "likes" from each month. Since you seem to enjoy reading my ramblings here...well, I assume you do since you keep coming back...I'll give you the story behind each one. Okay, so I'll give you as much of the story as I remember. Don't get too excited. Sometimes it wasn't much beyond, "Oohh, that's pretty!" or "That looks so cool."

Ready to go on a year long adventure with me? Let's do this thing.

JANUARY

It's a turkey in the snow. I took this from the window next to my desk at work. I love the turkeys! They wander around the property at work all of the time. I don't get turkeys by my house. Work is like my own little wildlife safari some days.

FEBRUARY

I have no clue. We shall label this as "Oohh, pretty!"  I thought I knew where I had taken it, but looking closer that can't be right. 

MARCH

It snowed last March. A lot. That would be my house, flying snow courtesy of my Dad and his snowblower. That would also be my abandoned shovel sticking out of the ground, waiting to dig out the snow underneath my car.

APRIL

I made this!  My friend and I went to Paintbrushes and Party to do this very cool Hamsa Hand painting. We got a hand template to trace, and the rest of the painting was up to each individual.

MAY

This was taken at Mole Mole, which you can probably guess as it says that on the car door. It was also my birthday.

JUNE

This was taken at the Rosamond Gifford Zoo in Syracuse, New York. I was in Liverpool for a work conference. We got to eat dinner at the zoo as part of the conference, and then had time to walk around the zoo while it was closed to the public. It was very cool.

JULY

This was taken in the garden at Vanderbilt Mansion. I love walking the grounds there. Instead of taking a picture of the statue from the front with the reflecting pool, I went around behind it. 

AUGUST

We were at Holy Cow Ice Cream. I went with my brother, my niece, and my nephew. It must have been shortly before the end of the kidlets summer visit if my brother was here. The sky looked really cool, and I remember my nephew was super tired after baseball camp at Marist. This might also have been the day he declared that he had "Swamp butt". I still don't want to know what that means.

SEPTEMBER

View of Poughkeepsie taken from the Walkway Over the Hudson. The views are always gorgeous, and I go there frequently. 

OCTOBER

No, I did not go to Texas this October. They were busy recovering from the hurricane that had recently devastated parts of the state. This is from the Wikipedia entry, if you didn't click the link.

"Making landfall as a Category 4 hurricane, Harvey inflicted tremendous damage across Aransas County.^[48] Wind gusts were observed up to 132 mph (212 km/h) near Port Aransas.^[49] In Rockport, entire blocks were leveled by the hurricane's winds. The city's courthouse was severely damaged when a cargo trailer was hurled into it, coming to a stop halfway through the structure. The gymnasium of the Rockport-Fulton High School lost multiple walls while the school itself suffered some damage.^[48] A Fairfield Inn in the city was severely damaged.^[50]One person died in a house fire in the city, unable to be rescued due to the extreme weather conditions.^[51] As of August 28, an estimated 30–40 people remain unaccounted for across Aransas County, including 9 in Rockport. Nearly every structure in Port Aransas suffered damage.^[48] By the afternoon of August 26, more than 20 in (510 mm) of rain had fallen in the Corpus Christi metropolitan area.^[37] All of Victoria was left without water and most had no power.^[48]"

My brother and his family were lucky. They were away during the hurricane, and they suffered very minimal damage. The area around them was not so lucky. So no, I didn't go to visit this year. Instead you get to look at a picture of a sunflower in the garden at work.

NOVEMBER

Taken at Esopus Meadows Preserve. I love that sign, and the way the clouds and the sun were creating such different lights. You can also see the lighthouse in the background. It was right after this that I got home to find out the sad news about my neighbor.

DECEMBER

Right now you're probably wondering, "WTF? It's an envelope."  Yes, it is. It's a card I got from two of my favorite little library patrons. Made me feel all warm and fuzzy inside, and people liked it. The best pictures aren't always fancy.

Officially, Friends, we have reached the end of our year in review. Wasn't that fun? I thought so. I decide to add a couple of bonus pictures that I really loved and which didn't make the list. Read on if you wish, or feel free to quit now. You might already have quit and I'm just talking to myself at this point. 

BONUS #1

Lili (my niece) and I went to see One Republic at SPAC back in August. It was a road trip and concert experience all in one! We go to a concert each summer she comes up to visit. Who knows what we will see next year? I had been hoping to take her to see Heffron Drive again this past summer, but there was no tour here which makes me sad. :(

Bonus #2

I really love this picture. No one else seems to love it quite as much. To each their own. This was taken in an abandoned building in Beacon, down by Long Dock Park. I was out for a walk/hike with my friend whom I always refer to here as Gertie. I wrote a whole post about it back in April. See the cool things you miss out on when you won't go play in the slightly decrepit abandoned buildings with me, Gertie? You could have seen this up close and personal. 

And now we really are at the end, Friends. 2017 is almost over, and I say good riddance to it. I hope 2018 brings all of us love, happiness, good health -- all the good stuff. See you next year!

**And PLEASE: if you go out and party this New Year's Eve, please be responsible! Don't drink and drive. Or do anything else and drive. Be sober if you are driving, that's the point.**

What Is the Point?

Hey, Friends.

Did you have a good day?  I know it was a Monday.  Hopefully it wasn't too bad.  I'm actually in a pretty good mood, which might be hard to tell after reading this post.  Consider that your warning. This is probably going to wind up as kind of a rambling rant.  If you're in a good mood, you might want to skip out now.  Maybe you find my blathering amusing and can't wait to see what set me off this time.  Your choice.  I wash my hands of all responsibility if you choose to read on beyond this point.

There are many things that have contributed to this airing of grievances list of complaints discussion, but it can be most easily covered regarding Instagram. (We'll go with discussion, since you are free to agree or disagree in the comments!)

"But you love Instagram!"  I do, Friends, I do.  Probably more than I should.  That does not mean that it and/or its users are infallible.

Before we get to the rant/ramble portion of things, let's start with this:

For those unfamiliar with Instagram (and I really don't know who that would be at this point), that is what I see when I look at my Instagram profile.  I honestly don't think anybody was unaware that this was my account.  I post stuff here pretty regularly, and to my Twitter and Facebook accounts, which is where most of you fine folks are coming from. If there was any confusion then consider this to be me lifting the veil of mystery and clarifying it for you.  Ta da!

This brings us to the first item of our discussion, Friends.

Public vs. Private

My account is public.  That means I don't care who can see my photos or my profile.  If I did, I certainly wouldn't be posting it here.  

• I'm never going to post something that I would not be cool with the whole world seeing. If you're that worried about it, you probably shouldn't be posting it anywhere on the internet.
• I like people being able to discover my pictures, just as I love to discover other accounts.  There are some incredibly creative people in the world.

That's really all it comes down to, for me.  There are many reasons why people may choose to have a private account, and there is absolutely nothing wrong with that.  Whatever makes you comfortable.

Since my account is public, I have actually been contacted a few times by people asking permission to use my images.  First, the fact that they actually asked permission and gave credit is amazing! I can't even tell you how many stories I have heard about people having their work used without permission -- and I'm not talking solely about Instagram on this matter. Every time someone asks it usually results in a mixed reaction on my part: squeeing in excitement and doing a little dance of joy (which I can totally get away with as I live alone and there are no witnesses to silence later) and disbelief that someone actually wants to use one of my pictures.  On purpose.  Where other people will see it. It doesn't happen very often, but it's a pretty cool feeling.

Side note, Friends:

It's never okay to use someone's work without their permission, or to take credit for it, or to leak it online.  Let's take a trip to the music industry for a hot second. Just because you paid $1.29 for a song on iTunes does NOT give you the right to then upload it to a website and cheat the artist out of future sales.  You're a horrible person if you post songs that haven't even been released yet.  

And we're back.

If someone has set their account to private, that means they are probably going to be a little bit selective as to the people they give access to viewing it.  If you make the cut, consider it a privilege. The person either knows you or trusts you enough to let you in.  This in no way gives you permission to share their posts all over the place. Not only is that reprehensible and rude, it makes you an asshole.  Why? I'm guessing it was not done with any consideration for the person you are actively screwing over.  I would assume that in 99% of the cases it was done to try to make yourself look cooler by sharing something private, or because you want to use it against them -- these are not mutually exclusive, either.  If someone allows you to follow their private account?  Keep it private. Consider it your job to prove that their trust in you was not misplaced.

Followers

Remember the picture above?  I have 309 followers, at the moment. You can see that clearly listed, and it will show up if you were to look at my profile.  I'm perfectly happy with that number.

What annoys the hell out of me are the spam messages that get posted as comments -- more so on Instagram, but it happens on Twitter as well at times -- offering me "followers".  I tried being polite at first, when it looked like it was posted by an actual person, and explaining that I wasn't interested. Didn't get any results. Now I just block the accounts.  This can turn into a mess very quickly, I've learned, as blocking one account sometimes leads to multiple other spam accounts finding you.  

I have 309 followers.  Do you honestly think that is because no one has ever made me such a grand offer before? 

 "Thousands of "real followers" for free!  Just click the link in my account!"

 "Buy 10,000 followers!"

"Click the link in my bio to learn the secret to getting thousands of followers!"

No.  No to all of it.  I have zero interest in your bullshit.  I prefer to have actual people who like the things I post and choose to see more as my followers. Many of them are friends and family which is very nice.

I do not, and probably never will, understand the fixation people seem to have with the number of "followers" they have on Instagram or Twitter.  What the hell is the point?  Do you sleep better at night knowing you got more followers that day?  Are you somehow a better or cooler person than everyone else that has fewer followers?  

There are actually apps that exist to help you track this crap!  I've seen the posts on people's Twitter accounts when they pop up in my timeline:  "3 people followed me and 5 unfollowed me this week powered by whatever-the-app-is-called."  Why is it that important?  And if you are really that obsessed with knowing, why in the world would you want to post it in public?  I can see the appeal if you are a business and trying to gauge your market.  But as just a regular person?  I feel a little bad for you. There are a lot more important things in life than the number of people who do or do not "follow" you on social media.

The Porn Accounts

Do you get these, Friends?  I can't be the only one seeing these.  Someone randomly adds you or likes a photo.  I have few enough "followers" that I can and will click on the profile to see if it is:

 a) someone I know and I don't recognize the user name

 b) an actual account and not some random spam shit

 c) someone whose posts I dig and might want to follow back.

I cannot tell you how frequently it leads me to an account of a scantily clad woman. There are either a few pictures of half-nakedness going on, or it is a "private" account.  The bio is almost always some variation of an offer to click a link to view their webcam.  Sometimes they go all out and have a bio with their age, sign, etc.

I don't know why I get these things -- I'm sure it's a bot and because my account is public. My user name is pretty generic.  It's not like I post anything remotely like that myself.  

I'm not your intended audience, scantily clad porn bots.  I'm a heterosexual female. I have absolutely no interest in what you are selling.  You will be blocked immediately.  I don't want your creepy comment lingering on my picture.  My nephews use Instagram.  I don't need them randomly finding your account via mine either.  That is not a conversation I want to have with my brother and sister-in-law.  

The Comments

This is really more about my fellow users of Instagram than Instagram itself.

Reminder, kids:  If you comment on a post, other people can see that.  Even if your account is set to "private", if you comment on a public picture it will be visible to all. Maybe you were already aware of that fact.  You might want to think carefully about what you are saying and/or how you are phrasing it.  Better yet, maybe think twice about whether you want to post it at all.

I'm a comment reader, I will admit it.  I read comments on other accounts.  I don't do it all of the time.  Sometimes I'm intrigued by the caption they used and want to see the reaction they are getting. It might be a political post.  It might be an account with millions of followers, and their post got like 784 comments in 5 minutes -- gets me curious as to what that many people could possibly have had to say that quickly.

It's not always a good decision on my part to read the comments.  Sometimes it is amusing, many times horrifying.  People do not hold back on their opinions, for good or for ill.

Just use your brain if you're commenting.  Be sure of what you want to say before you post it.  You might not get any response from the person who posted the photo, but I've seen a lot of instances where it struck a nerve with another user and ugliness ensued.  No one needs your squabbling in their comment section, and no one involved ever comes out the better for it.

Also, please try to remember that there is such a thing as privacy.  Yes, someone may have posted a public photo.  Whatever information they chose to share about it in the caption is what you get. Didn't give a location?  They don't have to. Doesn't matter how curious you are about it.  You can ask, but don't be rude if you don't get an answer. Did they post something that intrigues you about their personal life?  Doesn't matter.  If they wanted you to know, they would have shared that fact with you. You are not entitled to know.  Trying to suss out whether the other person in the photo is a significant other or a sibling?  None of your damn business.  If they want you to know, they will share that information with you.  I don't care if it is the biggest celebrity you can think of, or how much of their life they share with the public -- they still deserve their privacy and to share what they wish.  

Sorry, that last bit was a rant.  It's a pet peeve of mine.  Everyone has different comfort levels on what they choose to share and what they wish to keep private.  That should be respected regardless of who you are.  I've always thought of it more as being thankful for what people choose to share with me.  

Let's just end it here, Friends.  I think I'm about out of steam for rambling and ranting at the moment. Maybe you agree with me, maybe you don't.  You have the option to comment.  I promise I'll read them, even if I don't respond.

Give yourself a cookie if you actually made it this far reading through all of this.  

What's In a Name?

Hey, Friends.

We're going to ruminate on a rather strange subject today.  I'm talking about names -- more specifically about the use of nicknames.  I know it seems like a random topic to be thinking about. You see, I was recently told that I was "old fashioned" in my handling of nicknames, and I'd like to get some other opinions on the subject.

I have no problem with nicknames.  As someone who was blessed with a first name that 99% of people mispronounce?  I very much appreciate having an easier nickname.  It's not a deep, dark secret or anything.  It's not even all that unusual a name -- it's the pronunciation that throws people. My first name is Tamara. Can we get somewhat phonetic for a moment? You pronounce it like camera, only with a "T" instead of a "C", obviously.  It's not Tah-MARE-ah, or Tah-MAR-ah. That's why I tell everyone to just call me Tammy.  Nobody screws that one up.

Having a name that people have trouble pronouncing makes for fun times.  For example, it's super easy to tell when the person calling you is a telemarketer or the like.  They massacre that shit every single time.  You learn to get over people screwing up your name really quickly, too.  Take my first day of kindergarten as a prime example.  I came home from school that day all upset and told my mother that the teacher had called me Tomato all day long.  Obviously she wasn't really teasing me and calling me names, she was just mispronouncing it. I didn't dare to correct her or tell her to call me Tammy because you are supposed to listen to your teacher.

Why are we discussing this in the first place?  Fair question.

I was talking to a patron at work the other day, and it turns out we had a few mutual acquaintances. The patron said, "Oh, so you must know Chuck then."  (I'm changing the name to keep this a little more anonymous, although the chances of anyone involved stumbling across this post are slim to none.) Nope.  Pretty sure I don't know anyone named Chuck.  She goes on to describe him, and eventually I realize I do know him as Charles. She finds that hilarious because "no one ever calls him Charles".  I explained that I was introduced to him that way, and he didn't offer an alternative. She was of the opinion that I should somehow just know that he would prefer to  be called Chuck and shorten it to the nickname immediately.  I believe the exact quote was, "Well, if you meet someone named Timothy, you just know he goes by Tim so that's what you call him."  I told her that I didn't use nicknames for anyone unless they told me they preferred to be called by one, and she laughed. She found the idea amusing, and told me that it was quaint and old-fashioned.

Am I wrong here?  I don't think I am, Friends.

Why would you automatically assume that someone wants to be called a name other than the way they are introduced?  When I get introduced to someone as Tamara, I immediately tell them they can call me Tammy.  Most people who chose to go by a nickname generally offer it right up front.  If I meet you as Charles and you offer no alternative, then I am going to assume you want to be called Charles. I don't think that is quaint or old fashioned.  I kind of assumed it was the norm to call someone by their name.

Someone might hate having their name shortened, or has such a short name to begin with that they never had the need to use a nickname.  Take the name James for example.  It's not a long name.  Yes, a lot of people choose to go by Jamie, or Jimmy, or Jim, but other people stick with James.

And what about the names where there are multiple commonly used nicknames? We'll go back to Charles, again.  Why I would I automatically assume he wanted to be called Chuck?  It could just as easily be Charlie.  I have an Uncle Will and a coworker named Bill, both from William. I'm not psychic, so I would never assume which variation someone wanted to be called without them expressly telling me.

Personal preferences change as people get older as well.  I knew someone in elementary school who we always called Joey.  Now he's older, and he prefers to go by Joe or Joseph.

Maybe they prefer to use their given name for professional reasons, and have a nickname that they use with family and friends.  They might be Robert at work, Bob to other people, and with family and long time friends they might be Bobby.  You never know.  Why make the automatic leap to a name that might mean a different level of relationship or intimacy with that person?  Hell, maybe their parents always call them Junior because they have the same name as their father.  Parents get to do that.

That's without considering the nicknames you would never expect.  When I was in college my roommate was dating (and is now married to) a guy who went to R.I.T.  We used to spend a lot of time hanging out and partying with the guys in the engineering house there.  There were so many guys named Matthew that they all had nicknames: one guy was Matt, one guy was known as "Matt from Oregon from Arizona" (he moved a lot), and one guy went by his last name.  I dated a guy whose real name was Michael, but everyone called him Flip because he was on the soccer team and did bicycle kicks a lot.  And then there was Bob, whose real name was Dave, but he wanted a nickname like all the other guys so he chose Bob.  You just never know.

I was in a sorority in college.  My pledge name was Zia.  For the most part, we all called each other by our pledge names for years.  There are still people that I think of first by their pledge name, and then I have to think for a minute to remember their actual name.  I'm sure they do the same thing.  It makes complete sense to refer to each other that way, but it would be freaking weird if someone else randomly decided to bust out my pledge name and start using it now.

What are your feelings on the topic of nicknames, Friends?  Am I odd for not assuming people want to be addressed by a nickname or diminutive?  If you meet someone named Gertrude, let's say, do you assume she wants to be called Trudy or Gertie without her saying so?  I always thought it was a tad presumptuous to call someone by a name other than they way they were introduced unless they said otherwise.

Humor me, Friends.  I'm curious.

Phone Notes Part III

Hey, Friends.

I've been neglecting you, I know.  I'm a terrible person.  I feel bad.  Promise.

Worse yet, this isn't even a real post.  I mean it is a post, but it really isn't because it is more phone notes -- drivel I saved in my phone with every intention of expanding on it here, but then I got too busy or distracted by something and didn't ever get around to doing anything with it.  If you been hanging around here for a while you know the drill.  If you are just finding your way here?  You can check out my earlier installments of blathering here and over here.

I wasn't really sure about doing yet another set of phone notes, but I've got to get this stuff off my phone.  The poor thing needs to be coddled and it's storage space needs to be respected.  We're trying to save the life of my iPhone, Friends.

So, without further ado, please enjoy the things I thought were amusing and/or interesting at one point, and then chose to forget about entirely.

1) When someone refers to a coworker as your "work husband": sometimes that is okay.  In certain cases you have to bite your tongue to keep from explaining -- in great detail -- why there is no way in hell that is true, and how you never want to hear a reference to said person being your "husband" in any way, shape, or form ever again.

2) I think there should be a television show set in a public library -- like The Office or Parks & Recreation. (If such a thing already exists, someone please point me to it!) It would need a snazzy theme song, though.  On more than one occasion I have found myself pondering the possibilities.  I'm not a composer myself, so it has to be an existing song.  My favorite of the moment is this one:

3) Just missed a call that my phone tells me came from Tonganoxie, Kansas.  To the best of my knowledge I don't know anyone from Tonganoxie, but I do like the name.  

4) The Christmas season brings many gifts.  Among them (depending on how you look at it) is the gift of learning which of your friends/family/associates have no idea of the difference between Merry, Marry, and Mary.

5) Have you ever been in the line at the grocery store, started reading the headlines on the scandal/gossip magazines, and felt like a loser?  Forget the truth or accuracy of said reporting, because a lot most of it is completely made-up crap.  (I really don't understand how some of these things haven't been sued into non-existence, but I digress.)  According to the headlines, this one celebrity has gotten divorced, started dating, and gotten pregnant in the same amount of time that I have been on two dates that went nowhere.  I seriously begin to question what is fundamentally wrong with me and have to remind myself that most of this shit isn't true. Plus, it must totally suck if you are the person this stuff is being written about.  How must the people in those headlines feel when they are waiting in line at the grocery store?

6) Just overheard a coworker tell someone that they should refer all the "Big, scary people with lots of tattoos" to me because "She's fine with it, and they seem to like her better." -- Honestly, this explains so much. I can't even begin to describe how much sense this makes of my life at work.

7)    

I have issues sending flowers to Texas.  Click here if you want the story.

I think I have wasted enough of your time now, Friends.  I'm honestly kind of surprised if you made it this far. Thanks for reading...you know, assuming you still are at this point.