Wednesday, April 18, 2018

Coffee Talk

Hey, Friends.

I was running errands on my lunch break today, and I decided I really just wanted coffee and a nice toasty bagel with cream cheese for lunch. It was cold and damp outside and that just seemed like the most perfect lunch I could imagine. Dunkin was calling my name. I decided to just stay and eat it there because: 1) I would have to eat it super fast if I took it home, and 2) I was not about to go back to work that early. I made the right decision! If I had left I would have missed out on hearing this glorious conversation.

I fully admit to people watching. I also admit to people listening...or eavesdropping, which sounds much less nice. I might look like I am ignoring you and messing about doing something on my phone, but odds are pretty good that I'm also paying attention to what is going on around me. The conversation these two guys were having today? I took notes. It was that amusing.

Let me set the scene:

I'm eating my lunch, checking Twitter, and generally minding my own business.  These two guys sit down near by, and start talking. My guess is that the one guy was less than sober, or maybe really hungover and in desperate need of his coffee. At least I hope he was for his sake. What follows is a reconstruction of their conversation as best I could manage from my notes and from memory. It's 100% not verbatim but close enough that I hope you find it as amusing as I did.



Guy 1: Wouldn't it be amazing if you could actually feel what other people are dreaming about you?

Guy 2:  What the hell are you talking about.

Guy 1:  Like, if someone was dreaming about having sex with you right now, you could just be sitting here and suddenly WHAM! Totally feels like you're having sex with some hot chick!

Guy 2:  How do you know it's a hot chick? Do you also get the ability to see who's dreaming about you?

Guy 1:  No man, just the feeling. **wiggles around in chair to make his point**

Guy 2:  So it could be anyone then. It could be a dude, or an old lady, or that goat in the petting zoo that seemed way too fond of you.

Guy 1: It doesn't matter! You get to feel everything, and you can imagine it's whoever you want. It would be like constant bliss. All those dreams and you'd get to feel them all!

Guy 2:  Wow. You think way too highly of yourself. No one is looking at you and constantly wanting to fuck you.

Guy 1:  Shut up!

Guy 2:  I think you're still gonna have plenty of down time where you're not busy with dream sex and can actually do work.

Guy 1:  Fuck you!

Guy 2:  No way. And you clearly haven't thought this through.

Guy 1:  Yes I have! It would be awesome! And you could imagine it's whoever you want and by thinking about them you spread the joy, and eventually everyone feels the love.

Guy 2:  And then what? The world ceases to function? How would anyone ever get shit done, or safely drive a car?

Guy 1:  Well..maybe it only works when you are sleeping. That way everyone could still get shit done during the day.

Guy 2:  So at night you would feel whatever anyone was dreaming about you. That's your final idea?

Guy 1:  Yes. Everyone would have such sweet dreams.

Guy 2:  Not everyone. And I still don't think you really want that to happen.

Guy 1:  Dude, what the hell? Why deny me my dream?

Guy 2:  What about that woman in the movie theater 2 weeks ago?

Guy 1:  What about her?

Guy 2:  You were annoying the hell out of her.

Guy 1:  Nooooo, I was flirting.

Guy 2:  I bet her dream that night involved stabbing you in the eye with the straw from her soda.

Guy 1:  Hahaha. It wasn't that bad. Asshole.

Guy 2:  But if she was, you're saying that you would suddenly wake up in an insane amount of pain, feeling like someone was repeatedly stabbing you in the eye with a straw?

Guy 1:  Yeah. *pause* Well, that might not be good. And why is she stabbing me multiple times now?

Guy 2:  You tend to piss people off. A lot. You'd probably get your ass kicked every night.

Guy 1:  Yeah. *pause* You're such an asshole! Couldn't just let me have my damn sex fantasy dream idea.

Guy 2:  Or I'm saving you from repeatedly getting your ass kicked every night. Forever.

Guy 1:  You're a shitty friend.

Guy 2:  Or the best friend you ever had.

Guy 1:  Shut up. Jerk.

Guy 2:  You're welcome. 


The End.

At least that is the end for us, Friends, because I had to leave to go back to work. They were still there when I left, so who knows where that conversation went after that point.

All in all, today was pretty darn good. Not only did I get to hear this wonderful conversation, but I also got my Girl Scout cookies delivered at work, and I finally won HQ Trivia tonight!  $5.07 winner -- go me!

So, if anyone would like to do something to make tomorrow equally as awesome, be my guest. Let's all try to do something nice for another person and spread a little joy around. I think it will work much better than the dream theory in the conversation above.

Thursday, April 5, 2018

Welcome to the Dream Time

Hey there, Friends.

I had a weird dream last night. I just need to write down what I can remember of it before I forget it completely. I figured I might as well share it with all of you. Maybe you can provide some deep insight into the inner workings of my brain, or maybe you'll just feel better about yourself because your dreams aren't as strange as mine. Whatever works for you, kids. This is going to be long, and probably ramble a bit. Just warning you now in case you want to skip this and come back later, or maybe not bother with it at all. Totally up to you.

Let me start by suggesting a tune for you to listen to while you get your read on. I hadn't listened to this in quite a while, but for whatever reason it was the first song that popped into my head when trying to think of a song about dreams. Could I have chosen a different one? Yes. I'm just gonna go with my gut instinct here and share the one that popped to mind first. Feel free to ignore the suggestion if it's not your kind of jam.





Friends, you can totally ignore the fact that it's from the Romeo and Juliet soundtrack. That has nothing to do with my dream...at least I don't think it did.

Okay, moving right along to those vague details I do remember before they are gone into the ether forever.

In my dream I was looking for someone. I have no idea who I was looking for now. Guy? Girl? A friend or relative? A random person that I don't actually know? I've got nothing now that I'm awake. I only remember that it was definitely a person I was looking for, not an object, and in my dream it made perfect sense that I was the only one trying to find this person.

I don't think the person I was searching for was actually lost, either. There were all sorts of other people wandering around in my dream and none of them gave a shit or were even the slightest bit concerned that I was looking for this person. They were polite when I asked them if they had seen him/her/whoever, but that was it. It wasn't chaotic like someone had been kidnapped or a child was missing. I've had that moment of panic with my niece and nephew -- when you're in a crowd someplace and you lose sight of them for a few moments and start to freak until you realize they just wandered off a bit and are totally fine. There was none of that in my dream.

It was like the most laid-back search, Friends. I can't really explain the vibe other than to tell you what it was not. There was no sense of urgency. You know that feeling you get when you've misplaced your car keys and you have to leave so you aren't late for something? Like, your keys aren't where you always leave them, and now your wracking your brain trying to remember where else you might have put them and getting frustrated -- like the keys moved on their own just to screw with you? You get annoyed at yourself for misplacing the keys, pissed at the keys for daring to be someplace other than where they are supposed to be, and cranky because now you are going to be late for the stupidest reason ever. None of that. It wasn't even on the level of having misplaced my phone. You know what I mean, Friends. You put your phone down somewhere and don't see it immediately, so you try calling it but you have it on "silent" so now you are stuck calling repeatedly, listening for vibrations and looking for the screen to light up as you wander the house looking. 

Do you ever have something important that you put in a "safe place" for later? Maybe it's a memento with sentimental value, or important paperwork -- like car insurance -- that you might need at some point in the future but not right away, or a present that's perfect for someone but their birthday isn't for several months. I tuck those things away in a "safe place". I know I have them and they are around if and when I need them. It was kind of like that. I knew the person I was looking for was around someplace and perfectly fine. I couldn't find them at the moment, but it was okay because whomever-it-is would turn up eventually. I hope that made sense because it's the closest approximation I can give you. There was no urgency, or panic, or looming time deadline. 

Let's move on to where this was all going down in my dream. It started in a generic downtown area of a city: businesses up and down both sides of the street, cars parked along the curb, people walking around and going about their lives. I don't know where it was supposed to be, but I know it wasn't any place local. I knew there were stores and offices along the street but the names were kind of blurred out. It was a sunny day, and I'm guessing it was Spring or Summer since it seemed to be warm out. No one paid any attention to me unless I asked them if they had seen whomever it was I was looking for. Everyone was very polite. Some of them had no clue who I was talking about, others said they hadn't seen the person recently, and still others said they had to be around somewhere and to keep looking.

I didn't go into any of the businesses or stores along the street. I don't know why. I walked down the street occasionally asking people about the person. Eventually the street came to a dead end with a big stone building in front of me. In the dream I remember deciding that it meant I should go in. I recall thinking that logically the person must be in there since they hadn't been anywhere else. I don't know how that makes any sense since I hadn't bothered to go into any of the other stores or businesses, but that's how dreams work.

I walked inside the building and was greeted by a reception desk. I asked if the person I was looking for was there. The receptionist told me that she didn't think they were in at the moment, but if I wanted to take a seat by the windows she would let me know in a few minutes. I took a seat in a super-comfy black leather chair and started people watching out the window. I don't know how long I sat there waiting, but eventually the receptionist told me to take the elevator to the fifth floor and someone there could help me.

I wandered over to the elevator, which was there waiting, and took it to the fifth floor. The door opened and I walked out onto sand. I was at the beach, I think along the ocean. I walked away from the elevator a bit, turned around and saw that the elevator was gone. This didn't phase me in the slightest. I assumed it meant the person I was looking for was around there. There were a few people walking along the dunes, others jogging along the water's edge. I walked down toward the water and headed to the right. It was definitely later in the day -- not quite sunset, but late afternoon or early evening. I don't know where the beach was supposed to be, but wherever it was the weather was warm. There was a guy jogging along the water in shorts, no shirt, with this earbuds in and wearing sunglasses. Black shorts with white stripes down the side. I didn't recognize him and didn't talk to him so I don't know why that detail stuck in my head. I ambled along the edge of the water, thinking how nice the warm breeze felt on my skin, looking for seashells and meandering my way down the beach. 

I saw an older couple walking toward me up the beach with their little dog. I stopped to pet the dog and asked the couple if they had seen the person I was looking for. They were very nice and told me they hadn't seen the person recently, but I should be sure to check out the beautiful grotto a bit further down the beach. They said it would make the whole trip worthwhile even if I didn't find the person I was looking for in this location. I thanked them and decided that I was going to head for the grotto and check it out. Maybe I'd find the person on the way there.

I kept walking, and eventually the beach curved and there was a rocky outcrop in my path. I remember being a bit confused that I hadn't noticed  that the beach came to an end earlier on - like this had sort of just appeared out of nowhere. I decided that I must have walked further than I thought and been too absorbed in enjoying the beauty around me to have noticed it. I figured that the grotto the couple had told me about must be on the other side of the rocks and proceeded to climb over them. 

The grotto was on the other side, kind of in its own secluded little inlet. I remember thinking that the couple had been right -- it was beautiful and totally worth the walk to get there. The stones were all shades of a sandy brownish color, some darker and some lighter.  There were some shaped like arches and some like separate spikes of piled up stones. I remember wishing I had my phone with me so I could take a picture of it. I wandered around for a bit exploring, touching the stones and feeling how warm they were from the heat of the sun on them all day. Eventually I realized there was a tall but shallow cave up on the beach. It seemed to line up and have a perfect view out over the water looking through one of the stone archways. Since it was getting even later in the day and I was really hot from walking so much in the sun, I decided to check out the cave. I sat myself down in the mouth of the cave and decided that I'd just rest for a bit, maybe stay long enough to watch the sunset over the ocean through the arch because it would be a pretty spectacular sight. I closed my eyes for a bit, just listening to the waves crash on the beach, feeling the last rays of the sun warm on my face, and enjoying the breeze.

I wasn't kidding when I said there was no sense of urgency in my search for this person, Friends. I seemed to have no problem deciding that I would just chill for a while on the beach.

Again, I'm not sure how long it was in dream-time that I was sitting in the cave. When I opened my eyes again it was much later and I had missed the sunset completely. It was twilight now, and I realized I could hear what sounded like running water and not waves on the beach.  

I walked out of the cave wondering how I was going to manage to climb back over the rocks in the dark only to discover that I was no longer at the beach. I left the cave and was now in a forest alongside a babbling brook. There was a dirt path that ran from the cave and along the edge of the brook. And there were fireflies everywhere. Tons of them! Even though it was getting dark I could see well enough to know that it was a very green, lush forest. It was peaceful and serene, almost like something from a movie as it seemed a little too perfect. There was no sense of danger, like a wild animal lurking nearby or anything. It was like someone's version of a forest idyll...which I guess would make it mine, since it was my dream.

I hung around watching the fireflies for a bit, and then I started walking down the dirt path. I didn't know where I was headed, but clearly the person I was searching for wasn't around. Hopefully I would bump into someone along the path, or find a clue about where I should be heading.

I walked on for a bit, the path seeming to get wider and more heavily traveled. I still hadn't come across anyone else but I wasn't worried about it. It didn't seem to be getting any darker out -- it was still the same purpley-blue-black of twilight, and everything had kind of an ethereal greenish glow from the light of the fireflies reflecting off of the brook and the leaves of all of the vegetation. I had time before I had to worry about finding a place to sleep for the night.

Eventually I came to a fork in the road, and there was an old wooden signpost with arrows pointing in each direction. How cliche of me. The brook and the more heavily traveled path curved off to the right and I could hear voices off in the distance. Maybe a town of some sort was over there? The path to the left was much narrower, more like a footpath. I don't think there was anything written on the arrows like a destination point or distance, or it was too faded to read. I decided to go to the left because the person I was searching for values their privacy and wouldn't want people in the town to know they were around unless they wanted to be seen. 

What the hell. That makes no sense whatsoever thinking about it now. How in the world was I ever supposed to find someone who didn't like to be seen unless they wanted to be? 

Back to the dream...

I headed down the trail to the left. I had magically acquired a lantern on a chain at some point as my firefly friends had gone along the brook in the other direction. So now I'm walking along carrying one of these:


The lantern gave off plenty of light to be able to navigate the trail, and there were little glowing purple flowers around the base of some of the trees.

I walked on for a while before the trail eventually opened up into a giant meadow. The grass was very tall - almost up to my waist - and was swaying gently in the breeze. It was surrounded on all sides by the forest, but there were several openings in the trees around the edges which I knew had to be more trails heading in different directions. I was glad I had on my hoodie because it was a bit chilly now. Yeah. At some point I had acquired a hoodie, and I also noted that my lantern was now gone. When it had disappeared I wasn't sure, but I didn't need it as there were so many stars in the sky lighting up the meadow. I don't know if it was a full moon or not as I didn't see the moon in the sky at all. 

I looked around, trying to figure out which trail I was supposed to take next. There was a shape out in the distance, off to the right toward the other side of the meadow. I couldn't tell if it was a person or a statue, but I needed to find out what it was. I headed over, wading my way through the tall grass.

It was a statue of a person. It was grey, or at least it appeared grey in the night. It was old and weathered so the features were indistinct. It was definitely a person with short hair, or the hair had been weathered enough that it blended into the rest of the statue. It was standing there, one hand hanging loose down by its side, the other pointed up and out as if in the direction of something over the tree line, and the head was tilted back as if it was looking up toward the sky. 

I circled around it a few times, trying to figure out if I was supposed to be noticing something above  the tree line. I couldn't see anything and was debating whether I should attempt to climb up and stand on the pedestal with the statue when I saw something white in one of the hands. It was a crumpled piece of paper that had been stuck into the space to rest in the hand. When I unfolded the paper it turned out to be a note. It said, "You're on the right track. Remember -- you never know who is watching or the influence you may have on others." I knew it was from the person I was searching for, and without looking around any further I decided to head off in the direction that the statue was pointing. There appeared to be a break in the trees there, so there must be a trail.

And then I woke up, Friends. That's all there is to it. I wish I could give you a better ending, some sort of resolution after reading all of that. I wish I could give myself some resolution. I didn't find the person I was looking for but seemed perfectly content to keep going.

I tried looking at some dream interpretation websites, but I didn't get much that was very helpful. A lot of it was about searching for lost or missing things or objects in your dreams. I wasn't looking for a thing, I was looking for a person. Also, they weren't actually missing.  They just weren't where I was looking, but it wasn't that I had lost them or he/she had been taken away.

One very popular theory is that it is anxiety manifesting about something in your life. I can't stress enough how laid back and peaceful this entire thing was. There was no anxiety, or panic, or worry involved at all. I don't think it applies in this scenario. 

Another popular interpretation is that it means you are missing that "special someone" in your life because they are away and you haven't seen them in a while, or you regret a recent breakup. I have a couple of reasons why I don't think this applies: 
  1. I am very single. I don't have a "special someone" to be missing, nor do I have a recent breakup to be hung up on.
  2. I should hope that -- whether it was an ex-boyfriend or a family member or friend -- I would remember who the hell I was dreaming about if it was really that important to me.
The third most common answer was that you are searching for the person because you idolize them and wish you could incorporate certain aspects you admire about them into your own life. That might well be true. I have no idea why I wanted to find this person. Also, it's hard to figure out what characteristics I might appreciate when I don't know who the mystery person was.

I didn't really get any helpful information is the point of all that.

This is what I'm taking away from it all:

--I need to stop eating bananas any time remotely near when I am going to bed. I know that kind of came out of nowhere, Friends. It's true though. Maybe it's just me, but if I eat a banana a couple of hours before going to bed I tend to end up with some strange dreams. I had a banana around 9 pm last night, went to bed a little after midnight, and wound up with this mess.

--I really hope there was a point to all this and it wasn't some banana-induced vision quest to give myself a pep talk via a note in the hand of a statue. And while we're on the subject of the note, that shit is a little creepy now that I think about it. You never know who is watching you? How the hell was my dream-self total cool with that and didn't even look around to see if anyone was watching?

--I really would like to know who the person was that I was trying to find. Is this supposed to be a deep moment, like "The person you are trying to find is yourself"? Is it some kind of message that I need to check in with a friend or family member because they miss me, or are going through a rough patch and could use a friend? I would love to do so, if only I knew who it was. Honestly, with my luck it wouldn't surprise me if I find an interpretation claiming it was a message from my soulmate or something, and I just screwed it all up and remain clueless because I cannot remember who he was.


Let me know if you have thoughts on the matter, Friends. At least let me know about the banana thing even if you don't want to weigh in on the rest of it. If you actually read this whole rambling, convoluted mess then give yourself a virtual hug from me. Thanks for reading my babbling and wasting precious minutes of your life on my nonsense. I really appreciate it. 💗


**I'm sorry if this is a hot mess, or gets a little confused at points. I did read it over several times to try to make it somewhat coherent. There was a good 10 hour gap between when I started writing this all down this morning and when I finished it tonight. The first half was written when it was all still fresh in my mind immediately after waking up, and the second half was based off hurriedly scribbled notes I made before going to work. A lot of it kind of faded from my mind over the course of the work day. Maybe tonight my dream will pick up right where it left off. Who knows? I am out of bananas though, so I doubt it will happen.**