Phone Notes

It occurred to me earlier today that I should really clear a lot of the flotsam off of my phone -- apps I never use, tons of photos that have already gone to live on Instagram, etc.  Might explain why my phone seems so sluggish at times.  What else could I clear out?  All of the notes -- probably don't need most of them any more, either.

Honestly, I did not realize how much drivel I had saved as a note at some point. Some were obvious, like the ones with the time, date, and a police officer's name:  incident reports at work.  I don't call the police that often, so I know why I had made those notes.  I'm talking about the rest of it.  Two years worth of random sentences, jots of thoughts I think I probably meant to write about here but then never actually got around to fleshing out, partial grocery lists, my brother's last two addresses -- a really weird assembly of things.

So I decided, before just purging the stuff off of my phone, I might as well post some of it here, since I obviously thought it was interesting and/or amusing enough to document at the time.  Why not let you, Friends, see the nonsense that goes on in my head before it goes through the process of landing here?  Yes, there is a process.  I do actually make an effort here, although I don't know if that makes it better or worse.  Guess that  depends on whether you like reading my blathering or not.

I digress.

Onto the notes.  I'll start with the one that I can actually explain and give you background on, as you sort of know about it already, although you don't know that you know.

1) Ridiculous One Direction Phone Poll:  You already know about this because I did actually write about it here, but then I deleted it later.  I got a phone poll, and it was all about One Direction and Zayn leaving and went on forever, rarely changing topics.  The tl;dr recap:  I felt bad for the dude as he has been under public scrutiny for years and hoped he was okay, I could really not care less about One Direction, I know exactly one of their songs, I don't care if the band breaks up, and I was horrified that the chick giving the poll didn't seem to know who the Beastie Boys are.  (That still irks me.)

"But why delete it?" you might be wondering.  Well, I rarely get get comments actually posted to my blog -- most people respond on Facebook.  That one I actually got an anonymous comment on, explaining how some people were actually really upset about it all, and it hurt their feelings that I was kind of making fun of them -- you get the drift.

My intention here isn't to hurt anyone's feelings or make them feel bad.  Also, I kind of already had a run-in with the insanity that is the 1D fandom on Twitter, and that was more than enough for me.  I watched them perform on Saturday Night Live once, and I posted something on Twitter about it -- I forget my exact words, it was something like, "They weren't as bad as I thought they might be." I was pleasantly surprised, was the gist.  I know I absolutely did NOT tag One Direction in it, and the 1D fans somehow found me anyways.  They were all very nice and polite -- I'm not saying otherwise.  It was a little startling though to suddenly have a shit-ton of attention headed my way, with people recommending YouTube clips of concerts I should watch, thanking me for giving them a chance, telling me how awesome they are, etc.  My point is, I did not need one anonymous person to send out into the fandom that I was in some way making fun of them, ending up with a One Direction shit-storm headed my way.  So I deleted it.

Now onto the other notes that I have no real frame of reference to give you, although some seem pretty clear on their own.

2) "Store -- get weird beers and spiders."  Thankfully, the date-stamp on this one is from October 2013, so I'm guessing Halloween. Not my usual shopping list.   I don't generally buy spider-related anything, as I hate them.  HATE THEM!!

3) "Super long red light.  Is it broken?  Did I unwittingly just participate in a performance art piece on the virtue of patience?"

4) "That moment when the alarm goes off & you wake up & go to put on your glasses but they aren't where you always leave them.  Feeling around blindly, half asleep in the dark & feeling like something would totally reach out from under the bed and grab your hand if this was a horror movie. Stumble blindly to bathroom and jam contacts into bleary eyes.  Try to describe what a pain in the ass it is to someone later, and they say 'Didn't you just look for them?'  Yeah.  If I could f*$king see well enough to look for them then I wouldn't need them in the first place. Just agree that it sucks next time."

5) "12:53 am  The internet tells me that my left ear ringing at this time means that a loved one is thinking about me.  Pretty sure all my loved ones are asleep, unless I have a secret admirer in another time zone.  The internet should tell me to go to sleep & not surf random nonsense at this hour."

6) "Handicap parking vs. bathroom stalls.  Why make parking spots so close, then put stalls all the way at the far end of the bathroom?  Why not put handicap stalls first?  Seems rude."

7) "Rhode Island".  *I really have no idea.

I think we shall end this here.  Consider this the Best of the Notes on My Phone.  The rest is really not worth anyone having to read.  Maybe we will do this again in a few months, kids.  Maybe not.  I don't know how much you really need to know about the thoughts that flitter through my head.

Adventures in Car Repair

First and foremost, Friends, you need to understand that I am not a car person.  I cannot tell you the make or model of a car just by looking at it, save for the Volkswagen Beetle.  I define things as: car, truck, SUV, or motorcycle.  If you need a better description than, say, "blue car" you best hope I was close enough to read the model written on the car.  I have no problem admiring pretty cars or old cars, but I don't have a real interest in them.  It's not one of my passions.

The tl;dr version: as long as it can get me from Point A to Point B reliably I am happy.  I honestly do not care beyond that.

So imagine my level of consternation when I saw this happen on my way back to work Wednesday afternoon:

No, no, NOOO!!!

I was not a happy camper when my "check engine" light popped on while I was driving. What new fresh hell was this little light about to introduce into my world?

Not being a car person, I decided I needed to go straight to the source for information.  No, not Google.  I broke out my trusty Owner's Manual, which I always keep in the glove compartment because I am that big a geek.  

All the latest technology, kids!  It even has a broken cassette player, meaning I have to listen to the actual radio.  The horror!

So I turn to the glossary looking for "check engine light".  Nothing.  Seriously?  Now I have to spend time flipping through all the nonsense in the beginning to find the picture of the panel to find out what they are calling this freaking light.  Apparently it is not called the check engine light, but the "Malfunction Indicator Light (MIL)".   You couldn't just go with the one car term I know?  Fine, be that way.

I flip to page 1-49 to find out what they have to say about the ominous Malfunction Indicator Light:

Malfunction Indicator Light:  

This light illuminates when there is a malfunction of an exhaust gas related component, and the system is not functioning properly so that the exhaust gas regulation values are not satisfied.  This light will also illuminate when the ignition key is turned to the "ON" position, and will go out in a few seconds. If it illuminates while driving, or does not illuminate when the ignition key is turned to the "ON" position, take your car to your nearest authorized Hyundai dealer and have the system checked.

Not helpful.  All it tells me is there is a problem with the exhaust system and to take it in.  No helpful "Here's How to Fix It Yourself" tips.

Screw that.  I'm not driving this thing all the way to the dealership if there is a chance I could fix it myself.  First of all, my dealership is like a 45 minute drive away down major roads.  What if the thing decides it wants to explode or something?  I don't want to drive it that far, and I really don't want to play a rousing edition of "Which Major Roadway Would Be The Best For The Car To Break Down?  Bonus Round: How Many Drivers Can You Piss Off In The Process When You Block Traffic?"  

As an extra special twist, this had to happen while my parents are out of town.  If the car won't start after work I am going to have to impose on a friend to get home.  I really don't want to have to do that.

Maybe it was hubris, or the bliss of ignorance, but I decided that if the car actually started after work I would head to Walgreens and buy every conceivable car fluid that my trusty Owner's Manual said could be easily checked as maintenance on the car.  Friends, I know you must be thinking, "Um, hello?  Why not go to AutoZone or the like?"  Yeah.  There's no point in that.  I might be delusional thinking I could find a quick fix to this problem, but even I know that I have no clue what 99% of the stuff in a store like that is for and wouldn't be able to do anything with it.  We are talking very small-scale dreams of fixing this problem.

Car fluid haul from Walgreens.  Let's do this thing!

Armed with my car fluids and my trusty Owner's Manual I decided to give it my best shot.  I wish I could say I jumped right in there and did something awesome, but I totally started by refilling the wiper fluid.  Yeah, I know that had zero relevance to the problem at hand, but it is the one thing I already knew how to do, and I needed the auto-maintenance confidence boost.

I checked all the levels, consulting my Owner's Manual.  Oohh -- the coolant is low!  I totally bought coolant!  I can do this!  So I follow the instructions, hoping that when I start the car the Malfunction Indicator Light will magically go out.

Nope.  

And every other fluid was exactly where it was supposed to be.  

Shit.  A quick fix is obviously not in the stars.

So I text my parents to tell them the news.  They are due back in town the next day, and then my Dad will come over to my house to check it out.  He knows cars.  If he can't figure out the problem then I am screwed and the car will have to go to the car doctor.

And then I texted my friend who literally has the exact same car in a different color, except everything seems to break on his car first.  It's like I get a preview of all the problems that are headed my way.  Had he had the "Malfunction Indicator Light" randomly pop on while he was driving?  Of course he had!  It was a problem with the alternator.  F&*king perfect.

I took part of the next afternoon off, as I really didn't want to drive the car any more than I had to with the stupid light on. I don't have  a good track record with cars.  My first car died a painful death in my parents' driveway on a cold winter's afternoon.  It got me home from work with its last gasp of life, and when I turned it off smoke billowed from beneath the hood and green goo oozed down the driveway.  It was toast.  Repairing it would cost more than the car was worth.  The car that replaced that one?  Almost had it paid off when a tree fell on it while it was parked in a driveway.  Totaled it.  That's how I got to my current car, and as it is a well-aged model I was afraid this was the end of the road.

My Dad came over the next afternoon to check out my baby.  He couldn't find anything wrong with.  It was driving perfectly fine.  Then he went to check and make sure the gas cap was on all of the way.  Seriously?  I'm kind of insulted, but I am more than willing to be utterly humiliated if that solves the problem.  Gas cap was on nice and tight so at least I was spared that moment.

Then he said we were going to trade vehicles, and he would take my car to his friend's garage the next day and have him look at it.  No biggie, right?  Wrong!  He drives a truck.  A truck that is only a few months old and still has "new car smell" in it.  

My new ride, for approximately 24 hours

My Dad has always had trucks.  I've driven them before, and the other models were even bigger than this one -- one even had 2 gas tanks.  However, driving a truck is still a lot different from driving my little car around.

You want to be a paranoid wreck?  Drive someone else's new vehicle around. You will realize exactly how terrifyingly bad some of the other people actually are on the road.  Right of way?  Just an idea!  Driving while holding the phone to one ear and drinking coffee?  Sure -- steering is optional, right?  It was an eye-opening experience to be driving at a higher vantage point, able see what other people were actually doing when they were supposed to be focused on operating a motor vehicle.  I only drove that bad boy to and from work and that was it.  I was not venturing out any further than I had to, convinced that would be the day some asshole decided to hit me.

This morning I got my car back, safe and sound.  Do you know what was wrong with it?  Nothing.  NOTHING!!!  I spent the better part of the last 72 hours worrying about a car that had absolutely nothing wrong it.  The indicator light is now off, and the guy said not to worry about it unless it kicked on again, then bring it back in.

I'm happy, Friends.  Really, I am.  I didn't want my car to be badly broken, or beyond repair. I didn't want to have to pay for expensive repairs.   I'm so glad Shelly (Yes, I named my car. Keep your comments to yourself.) is home again.  But I kind of wish there had been a tiny, cheap, easily fixable something wrong to make all of the worry -- and the in convenience to my Dad -- worth all of the trouble.

And you best believe I am going to be watching that Malfunction Indicator Light like a hawk, at least for a little while.  My track record with cars makes this feel way too good to be true.

*But I'm still really happy my car is back, safe and sound.

Just a Moment

It was Wednesday when the realization hit me: I had the next day off, and the weather was supposed to be beautiful.  I knew I had to work the next eight days straight after that.I had the overwhelming urge need to get away from it all for a bit.  I found myself desperately wanting to go see a waterfall.

I think that sometimes you just need to drop everything and take some time for yourself.  I know I do. Turn off the phone.  Forget about all the "stuff" you have to do -- the daily obligations and minutiae that suck up all of your time.  Leave the work-related stress at work, not hanging over your head. Just turn off the rest of the world and get some perspective on things.  Recharge your soul a bit.

Find someplace where you can just relax and be.  I'm not saying you need to run off to the mountains and act like Julie Andrews in the Sound of Music, frolicking about on the mountain top and singing your heart out.  (Unless that's your thing -- then by all means, do it.)  Go to the beach and just listen to the ocean waves for a while.  Sit in the park and people watch.  Get a cup of coffee and just sit and enjoy it without doing twelve other things or being glued to your phone the entire time.

Stop and smell the damn flowers.

Thursday I headed for the mountains -- more specifically, Minnewaska State Park.  I knew there were several waterfalls there, and I just wanted to hang out by one of them for a while, clear my mind and get away from it all.  Plus, it's always relaxing to hike in the mountains, breathe in the fresh air,  get away from all the noise of daily life.

Was there other "stuff" I should have been doing?  Absolutely.  It's taken me a long time to realize that sometimes I just need to chuck it all by the wayside and do something for myself, that all of the "stuff" will still be there later.  I'm still not very good at it.  I'll totally cop to checking my work email constantly.  I work from home when I'm not on the clock.  I might be a tiny bit of a workaholic, but I don't like doing a half-assed job at anything.  I'm trying to get better at not doing that.

The waterfall adventure worked its magic.  I felt much better, refreshed, before I headed off to work today.  I don't mean to sound like some kind of New Age guru or the like, but I highly recommend it.
The world is a big and beautiful place.

Take minute for yourself to take it all in and just enjoy it.