Saturday, May 16, 2015

Phone Notes

It occurred to me earlier today that I should really clear a lot of the flotsam off of my phone -- apps I never use, tons of photos that have already gone to live on Instagram, etc.  Might explain why my phone seems so sluggish at times.  What else could I clear out?  All of the notes -- probably don't need most of them any more, either.

Honestly, I did not realize how much drivel I had saved as a note at some point. Some were obvious, like the ones with the time, date, and a police officer's name:  incident reports at work.  I don't call the police that often, so I know why I had made those notes.  I'm talking about the rest of it.  Two years worth of random sentences, jots of thoughts I think I probably meant to write about here but then never actually got around to fleshing out, partial grocery lists, my brother's last two addresses -- a really weird assembly of things.

So I decided, before just purging the stuff off of my phone, I might as well post some of it here, since I obviously thought it was interesting and/or amusing enough to document at the time.  Why not let you, Friends, see the nonsense that goes on in my head before it goes through the process of landing here?  Yes, there is a process.  I do actually make an effort here, although I don't know if that makes it better or worse.  Guess that  depends on whether you like reading my blathering or not.

I digress.

Onto the notes.  I'll start with the one that I can actually explain and give you background on, as you sort of know about it already, although you don't know that you know.

1) Ridiculous One Direction Phone Poll:  You already know about this because I did actually write about it here, but then I deleted it later.  I got a phone poll, and it was all about One Direction and Zayn leaving and went on forever, rarely changing topics.  The tl;dr recap:  I felt bad for the dude as he has been under public scrutiny for years and hoped he was okay, I could really not care less about One Direction, I know exactly one of their songs, I don't care if the band breaks up, and I was horrified that the chick giving the poll didn't seem to know who the Beastie Boys are.  (That still irks me.)

"But why delete it?" you might be wondering.  Well, I rarely get get comments actually posted to my blog -- most people respond on Facebook.  That one I actually got an anonymous comment on, explaining how some people were actually really upset about it all, and it hurt their feelings that I was kind of making fun of them -- you get the drift.

My intention here isn't to hurt anyone's feelings or make them feel bad.  Also, I kind of already had a run-in with the insanity that is the 1D fandom on Twitter, and that was more than enough for me.  I watched them perform on Saturday Night Live once, and I posted something on Twitter about it -- I forget my exact words, it was something like, "They weren't as bad as I thought they might be." I was pleasantly surprised, was the gist.  I know I absolutely did NOT tag One Direction in it, and the 1D fans somehow found me anyways.  They were all very nice and polite -- I'm not saying otherwise.  It was a little startling though to suddenly have a shit-ton of attention headed my way, with people recommending YouTube clips of concerts I should watch, thanking me for giving them a chance, telling me how awesome they are, etc.  My point is, I did not need one anonymous person to send out into the fandom that I was in some way making fun of them, ending up with a One Direction shit-storm headed my way.  So I deleted it.

Now onto the other notes that I have no real frame of reference to give you, although some seem pretty clear on their own.

2) "Store -- get weird beers and spiders."  Thankfully, the date-stamp on this one is from October 2013, so I'm guessing Halloween. Not my usual shopping list.   I don't generally buy spider-related anything, as I hate them.  HATE THEM!!

3) "Super long red light.  Is it broken?  Did I unwittingly just participate in a performance art piece on the virtue of patience?"

4) "That moment when the alarm goes off & you wake up & go to put on your glasses but they aren't where you always leave them.  Feeling around blindly, half asleep in the dark & feeling like something would totally reach out from under the bed and grab your hand if this was a horror movie. Stumble blindly to bathroom and jam contacts into bleary eyes.  Try to describe what a pain in the ass it is to someone later, and they say 'Didn't you just look for them?'  Yeah.  If I could f*$king see well enough to look for them then I wouldn't need them in the first place. Just agree that it sucks next time."

5) "12:53 am  The internet tells me that my left ear ringing at this time means that a loved one is thinking about me.  Pretty sure all my loved ones are asleep, unless I have a secret admirer in another time zone.  The internet should tell me to go to sleep & not surf random nonsense at this hour."

6) "Handicap parking vs. bathroom stalls.  Why make parking spots so close, then put stalls all the way at the far end of the bathroom?  Why not put handicap stalls first?  Seems rude."

7) "Rhode Island".  *I really have no idea.

I think we shall end this here.  Consider this the Best of the Notes on My Phone.  The rest is really not worth anyone having to read.  Maybe we will do this again in a few months, kids.  Maybe not.  I don't know how much you really need to know about the thoughts that flitter through my head.

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