Sunday, February 14, 2016

It's Not That Kind of Post

Hey Friends.

So, I kind of feel that the simple act of posting anything today obligates me to wish you all a Happy Valentine's Day.

Happy Valentine's Day.  There you go, Friends.

Be glad you even got that, as in this little corner of the world we are ignoring the holiday as much as possible and pretending it is just another Sunday. If your heart is filled with Valentine's joy and you are looking to read all about how wonderful love is, posts filled with fluffy bunnies and sunshine and rainbows?  This is not the place for you.

Sorry, Friends. I'm thrilled for you that you found your special someone.  I'm delighted they bought you beautiful flowers/candy/jewelry/vacations/ fill-in-the-blank-gift.  You deserve it.  I'm happy for you, really!  I know you're just feeling the love and sharing your happiness with everyone.  It's a beautiful thing.

I was tired of the holiday before it even arrived this year.  I feel like the stores and television commercials have been pushing Valentine's Day since Christmas. Nothing like almost two months of being constantly reminded that you are single to make you feel like a winner!

There is one thing I do enjoy about the holiday, and that is the plentiful varieties of chocolate that are available.  Chocolate is always good.  Not coffee-level awesome, but good.  I think it might be the only part of Valentine's Day I am good know, assuming I had a guy to give me a gift.  And yes, I have had lots of time on my hands to ponder these things while watching all of the commercials, thank you very much.

Let me try and explain the warped logic that makes sense in my head.  I'll stick to the big three that seem to be the most popular gifts I've seen this year.

Flowers.  Flowers are nice.  I'm not saying I would be mad if someone gave them to me.  I know that I am crap at keeping them alive and looking pretty in a vase. They would wilt really quickly and then I would feel bad that the person spent all of that money on them.  I'd much rather get a bunch of wildflowers on some random day of the year.  Surprises are good, and the only expense is time and effort.  Plus, I feel like wildflowers are survivors -- they know how to grow in the cold, cruel world outside of a greenhouse and would have better odds of making it when left  to rely on me to remember to water them in a vase.

Jewelry.  First, are people really buying this many diamonds?  I saw so many commercials for diamonds this year it was amazing.  But I digress.  I love jewelry.  I wear it all the time, however none of it is expensive jewelry.  Expensive jewelry makes me nervous, Friends.  It would literally sit in my house and never be worn except for special occasions.  Well, unless it was a wedding ring, but even that would make me nervous.  I would constantly be worried about losing it or damaging it in some way.  Especially at work.  I wouldn't know what to do if presented with one of those Pandora charm bracelet things.  I don't like them.  Not at all.  They're entirely too cutesy for my taste. Plus, all the things dangling off my wrist would just be in the way, or begging to get tangled on a shirt, or caught on something, and then it would be broken, and then I would feel bad.  Hopefully a guy even contemplating buying me jewelry would know me well enough to know that.  (Figured I might as well get all of my jewelry-venting out while I was at it.)

Vacation.  On second thought, I could be good with this as well.  Who doesn't like vacation?  It could never be a surprise, though, as I would never be able to go.  No lie, my job is ridiculous when it comes to vacation time.  We have to chose for the year in like November/December.  After that it's like the Hunger Games: may the odds be ever in your favor.

There you go, Friends.  This is the drivel that goes on in my head.  Deep thoughts about shit that has no actually relevance in my life.

Before I go back to ignoring the holiday in its entirety, I will cop to having bought myself a gift of sorts.

It was delicious.

Happy Valentine's Day, all you loved-up people.

To my fellow single Friends: the day is almost over.  It should be safe to look at social media again in a few hours.

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