Tuesday, February 2, 2016

Fun With Comment Spam!

Hey, Friends.

I feel the need to share the comment that someone placed twice within a matter of minutes on the last entry I wrote.  It came from someone using the name Charles Marvin, and it claims to be on behalf of the Illuminati.  Yeah.  It's so blatantly a scam that I find it amusing.

*The only changes I made were to put it in italics to try to give it more panache, and I removed the contact info he provided so that no one would actually attempt to contact this person.* 

WELCOME TO THE GREAT TEMPLE OF ILLUMINATI WORLD RICHES. Are you a business Man, politician, musical, student and you want to be rich, powerful and be famous in life. You can achieve your dreams by being a member of the Illuminati. With this all your dreams and heart desire can be fully accomplish, if you really want to be a member of the great Illuminati then Once you join the brotherhood, you will be given $20,000,000,00 to start up any business you want to start up. call or whatsapp our agent via

It would be rude not to respond to an offer that is so life-changing that Charles felt the need to make it twice, right Friends?  At the very least he could perhaps get some constructive criticism out of it. I'm not about to contact him via his preferred methods, but perhaps he will stumble his way back here again and see a note if I leave it for him.

Dear Charles,

I would like to thank you for reading my last blog post, but I feel you don't deserve such credit.  I highly doubt you bothered to read a single word that was written before posting your comments.  It might be unfair, but I base this assumption entirely on the fact that your comments had nothing whatsoever to do with the content of said post. You hurt my feelings, Charles. You got my hopes up that my writing had truly resonated with someone, and then you dashed them against the rocks of callous, impersonal internet spam.  Would it kill you to at least put in the effort to appear to have read it?

I'm a nice person, Charles, so I did take the time to read what you wrote.  Since you went to all of the trouble of copying and pasting the same statement twice, I can only assume that it must be very important to you.  As such, I have a few thoughts I would like to share with you and the Brotherhood of the Illuminati in return.

1) I am not a "business Man", politician, or student.  I'm most certainly not a musical.  I think your offer is void right from the start.  Sorry, Charlie!

2) Does the Illuminati really recruit new members to their alleged ranks by random comments on blog posts?  I bet not.  I'd think that such a secretive organization (assuming it exists beyond myth) would be a little bit more selective in their membership recruitment process.

3) Whatsapp?  Really? 

4) How much money are you actually offering?  Your comma placement leaves a bit to be desired. Is that supposed to be 20 billion dollars and you just forgot a zero, or is that last comma meant to be a period and it's only a measly 20 million dollar offer?  There's a big difference. I think the Brotherhood might be a tad annoyed at your lack of specifics.

5) If the Illuminati have all of this money, why can't they hire someone to write comments that don't have to be deciphered?  I'm not saying that you have to have perfect grammar, but that's a hot mess. 

6) Would you happen to be related to CHARLES TAYLOR (JNR) who sent a fax to the library a while back?  I only ask because your writing style seems very similar.  Maybe it's just a coincidence that you both claim to be named Charles. It is a pretty common name, after all.

In closing, I am going to have to pass on your offer.  While it would be nice to be rich and achieve all of my dreams and desires, I think that such success would be more enjoyable when earned on my own.  



P.S.: I also deleted your comments, as this is quite obviously a scam. I'm not going to enable you to pull anyone into this bullshit by leaving your contact information lingering about where less savvy individuals could stumble upon it.  Sorry again, Charlie.  I'd wish you good luck in your endeavors, but I would be lying.

P.P.S. : If there really is an Illuminati -- you need to invest in some better PR.  This is just sad.  

No comments:

Post a Comment