I Found Them By Accident

Hi Friends.

Been a little while, huh? It probably would have been longer, but my Twitter feed decided to explode today over that fact that it's been 9 years since Big Time Rush came into existence. I felt like sharing my story since I had never really heard of them until after the show was already off the air.

I've shared this before, but I first discovered Heffron Drive on Spotify. I like to check out the recommendations Spotify gives, and somehow I had found them. This was back in 2014.  I loved their music and was immediately a huge fan.

It took quite the little while before I noticed that Spotify kept repeatedly telling me I would also like Big Time Rush. I couldn't figure out why in the world that was recommended or how it was related.

Eventually, I clicked on the link to check them out. That's when I figured out why it kept being recommended. I looked at the picture and was like, "Holy shit, that's Kendall from Heffron Drive! No wonder it kept telling me to check this group out."

And I liked their music. I'm not ashamed to admit I enjoy a good boy band. Windows Down is a jam. Nothing Even Matters, No Idea, and Stuck are some of my favorites. But at that point I still had no clue that there had also been a television show.

I'm slow, Friends. I know.

Back in July of 2015, Heffron Drive was coming to Webster Hall in New York City. I was stoked and was absolutely going to go. I decided to ask my niece if she wanted to go with me since she was up visiting for the summer. (She lives in Texas.) I asked my brother first if it would be okay to take his kid to NYC for a concert. He's the one who told me she would be super excited because she loved Big Time Rush and watched it all of the time.

Even then, at the ripe old age of 12, Lili (my niece) was game for any kind of concert. She had never heard of Heffron Drive, but when I told her it was Kendall from Big Time Rush she was absolutely down for it. She listened to their music non-stop up until the concert and learned all the lyrics by heart. I thought she was going to swoon when I told her we had Meet & Greet tickets.

Some revelations came out in the middle of the night while riding the train back home after the concert. She was freaking giddy, and only then did she tell me that Kendall had always been her favorite. That he was perfect. I told her that I had never actually seen the show, just listened to them on Spotify. She was horrified and decided that she needed to rectify that situation as soon as possible.


And that would be how, about a week later, I first saw Big Time Rush. She had taken it upon herself to start recording all of the episodes at my parents' house.

Did she start us at the first episode so I could figure out what the hell was going on? No.

Did she even bother to start at the beginning of an episode? No.

She was already cued up and mid episode when I got to my parents' house, watching the episodes with her little brother. It's one of the few shows that they will both agree to watch to this very day.
(The kidlets stay with my parents when they come to visit. They wouldn't even be awake when I have to leave in the morning, so they only stay with me on the weekends if I don't have to work.)

The episode? Big Time Fever. For those familiar with the show, you can imagine the interesting conversation that this particular episode brought about. If you have never seen it, you really should. Go watch it right now, or the rest of this is not going to make any damn sense to you whatsoever.

She started me at the point where they were already in the recording studio. I immediately asked, "Why is that dude orange?"

Lili: That's James. He's not orange, he's mangerine. And it's from his tanning spray. And that's Gustavo, their manager.  He seems like a jerk but he really likes them.

I got more information as the episode went on and I kept asking questions.

Lili: That's Carlos. He's crazy and always wears a helmet. Normally he's not like this. That's Logan. He's Kendall best friend and super smart.

Me: I thought you said they were all best friends?

Lili: They are. But, Logan's like his best best friend.

Me: Sure.

*a bit further into the episode*

Me: Lil, what channel did you say this normally comes on?

Lili: Nickelodeon. Why?

Me: I'm pretty sure that dude is high.

Lili: Logan?! Oh, no! He just used the magic bongos that Guitar Dude gave him.

Sure. Magic bongos. We'll go with that.

Me: So what's wrong with Kendall then?

And I almost got my head bitten off for daring to ask such a question.

Lili: Nothing! He's perfect. *sigh*  He's the leader of the group, and he's going to fix everything. Normally Logan is his second in command and would help him.

And he did, and everyone was back to normal by the end of the episode.

So then we had a little discussion before I let her roll right into the next episode.

Me: So who are your favorite characters?

Lili: Kendall, duh. And no one else is allowed to like him.

Damn, girl!

Austin (my nephew): I like Carlos and James! They're funny and crazy! 

That devolved into an argument about the proper way to do jazz hands like James does in front of his face, as Lili declared Austin was doing it wrong when he attempted to do it.

Me: Then I guess Logan will be my favorite.

Austin: You could like James or Carlos too, Aunt Tammy. I would share them with you.

Lili: Yeah. I'm not sharing. Kendall is mine.

Me: Thank you, Austin. I'm cool with Logan. Dude is hilarious - reminded me of my friends in college who also enjoyed the bongos. 

Lili: Do you think he's cute though?

Austin: Ewww

Me: He's definitely cute, Lil. No worries about that.

And then, because I am incapable of leaving things in a peaceful state...

Me: Logan is the best!

Austin: Yeah! I like Logan, too. And James and Carlos.

Lili: What?! How can you say that? You love Heffron Drive! You just got to meet Kendall!

Me: All true, but you just assigned me Logan as my favorite, so I'm all in now. Besides, I think you might actually hurt me if I said I liked Kendall at all beyond his music.

Lili: Well...I wouldn't hurt you too bad. *smirk*

And then I got to listen to her read me fun facts about Kendall for the rest of the summer. And I mean, I would get to my parents' to visit after work and be greeted with things like, "Did you know sunflowers are Kendall's favorite flower?" Not hello, or how was work. She would tell me random facts she had found that day about Kendall as soon as I walked in the door.

And every summer when the kidlets come up to visit for a month, we spend quality time bonding and rewatching old episodes of Big Time Rush. The only real problem to come out of it so far was a brief period when Austin got a little too into the concept of a "pre-truth".

I got to see Heffron Drive in concert again since that summer. Sadly, Lili was back in Texas already by that time, but they signed autographs for her and they are proudly hanging on her bedroom wall. I have not gotten to see Logan Henderson in concert yet, but I hope I will get to do so one day. I feel like it's my duty as the sole member of Team Logan in this family. Plus, I'm pretty sure Lili would freak the hell out if I managed to meet him, which would be fun. It's good to have goals.

So, I was a little late to the party on the whole Big Time Rush thing, Friends. I hope I can be forgiven for having overlooked their awesomeness for so long. They inadvertently helped create this cool bond between me and my niece and nephew, and for that I will always be grateful.

Through the Eyes of My Nephew

**Note:  Hi, Friends.  I started writing this a few days ago, but never had a chance to finish it.  I wasn't sure about posting it now, but I think perhaps my extended family members could use a little levity.**


Hey, Friends.

Remember how I told you that my Mom and I were surprising my niece and nephew with a trip to Washington D.C.?    We saw all of the monuments, went to several of the Smithsonian museums, and to the National Zoo.  We got back last night, and rather than give you the normal tourist recap (although I did take a ton of pictures to share at some point!), I thought I'd give you the highlights of the trip as recalled by my 8 year old nephew, Austin.

I have visions of him being asked to write about his summer vacation when he starts school again down in Texas, and my brother and sister-in-law being horrified when they see what he has written. This could be considered preparation for what they may hear coming out of his mouth at some point.

A little bit of backstory first...

Austin loves to ask "Would You Rather" questions when he is bored -- like driving in a car, riding on a train, or waiting for anything.  Normally these are more along the lines of, "Would you rather have to smell everything with your hands, or have your ears on the bottom of your feet?"  Shortly after they arrived for the summer, he asked my brother and I, "If you were homeless, would you rather live in your car or live outside?"

He was amazed when my brother and I both said we would live in our cars, and wanted to know why. I tried to explain that it would be a little safer, I would be dry and kind of comfortable, and I would have someplace to keep my stuff while I tried to find a job and get another place to live.  This is the conversation that followed:

Austin:  I would live outside. I could just walk to Grandma's house.

Me: I have a car. I could could drive to Grandma's house.

Austin: Okay...but what if you had a car but no keys? Ha!  What would you do then?

Me: I would still live in my car. I could walk to Grandma's house too.

Austin: I would live outside, but I'd have a skateboard.

Me: Why do you need a skateboard?

Austin: Because then I could be like Marty McFly in Back to the Future and get rides on my skateboard by holding on to the back of people's cars!  Zoom, zoom!


Just keep that in the back of your mind while we move on to the main story.

And now, Friends, I present to you:

AUSTIN WENT TO WASHINGTON -- THE HIGHLIGHTS

My Mom decided to ask Austin what he remembered and liked best from his trip to Washington D.C. when we were on the train back yesterday afternoon.  It had been a long trip and he was getting a little punchy by the end of it. **Note to My American Friends -- you might think you are going to be overwhelmed with patriotism here.  You would be wrong.**

1) "There were a lot of homeless people.  Remember this morning there was that man sleeping on the sidewalk outside the hotel?  And there was the guy singing with the boom box, and the other day there were the people outside the grocery store?  And then there was that guy in the restaurant with the cup? And then there was that monk-guy who kept trying to give Aunt Tammy things so she would give him money and he didn't speak English?"

And then my niece, Lili (she's 13) jumped in with: "And the hotel had instructions in a book for tourists on what to do so they didn't get robbed!"

Austin: "It did?  But the key to use the elevator was really cool."

Me: "So Austin, remember the other day when you said you would live on the street if you were homeless?  Would you change your answer now?"

Austin:  **thinks about it** "No.  I would be homeless and sleep in the yard at Grandma's house. She would let me in and give me food, and money, and a shower when I asked."

Me: "But did you see Grandma give any money to the homeless people?"

Austin:  "No, but that's just because she didn't know them.  She knows me.  She would give me food and money when I asked."

The homeless people really made an impression on him.  Any time he is asked about his trip the first thing he says is that there were a lot of homeless people.

2) "It was hot!  Like really, really hot."

He's not wrong about that.  This is the day we went to the National Zoo.

"We had to walk everywhere, and it was all outside with the monuments.  And Grandma kept making us drink water all of the time so no one would faint."

Touching the Washington Monument.  Getting a little meta as I take a picture of my niece taking a picture of herself touching the monument.

 My niece had her own thoughts on it.  "And there were the people with the cross in front of the Lincoln Memorial singing about Jesus.  That was okay, but then they tried to start making everyone believe what they did and that wasn't cool.  They shouldn't have been doing that, especially there."

3) "And remember when we got back to New York, at Penn Station?  Grandma and I saw a guy get arrested!"  There was a brief argument after that, in which my niece basically called bullshit on it.

"No, he did!  Grandma, remember?  Lili and Aunt Tammy went to the bathroom, and we saw that guy walk up to the police desk holding the other guy's arms behind his back!  And then a different police man took him away!  It was so cool."

"And there were all of these Army guys walking around, like from Homeland Security."

"And remember they had the dogs walking around with the police, and they were sniffing everybody and their bags!  And they made the announcement that you shouldn't try to pet the dogs or play with them because they were working."

Lili had a few questions about traveling by train.  "I don't get it.  How come they can't be more like the airport?  The airport can tell you which gate you are leaving from hours in advance.  Why do they have to wait until the last 10 minutes before your train is supposed to leave?  Do they really not know which track you will be on?  It just makes everybody hurry and push trying to get there and get a seat.  And then people fight over where to put their luggage.  Aunt Tammy had words with that one guy who wanted to move my suitcase far away to make room for his own."   She's not wrong.  The crazy rush at the last second seems like it could be avoided...and I may have had a few words with a guy who tried to move her suitcase.  Sorry, buddy.  We were here first and we are using the overhead that is actually over our seats.  You're sitting nowhere near us.  Move along.

Friends, you might be wondering like I was, didn't Austin like anything about the trip other than police activity?

Yes.  Yes, he did.

"I wanted to ride on the giraffe (carousel at the zoo).  He was so cool, but then I had to switch to the ostrich because the giraffe was too tall so it didn't go up and down."

Giraffe joy

"I also liked the lemurs.  They were really cool."

Those are the highlights of our trip to our nation's capital, according to Austin.  I'd like to apologize in advance to my brother and sister-in-law for any mental trauma we may have given him.

His Purple Majesty

Hey, Friends.

I'm sure by now you heard the very sad and shocking news that Prince passed away yesterday. I was at work when I heard the news and I was devastated.  I was really hoping this was going to be one of those horrible internet rumors that make the rounds.

You know how kids -- especially tween girls -- tend to latch on to an artist and go all fangirl about it? When we were little.....I'm guessing maybe 5th or 6th grade...my best friend (who shall remain nameless in this little story) and I lost our minds over Prince and Purple Rain.  Yeah.

I'm not even sure how it popped up on our radar to begin with.  I have this vague memory about one of our babysitters or another older kid in the neighborhood accidentally introducing it to us.  You know, someone in high school who was obviously way cooler than us and that we needed to emulate. We heard it and were hooked.  We asked what it was, and they told us.  And then in the next sentence told us that it "wasn't for babies" and we shouldn't be listening to it.

Friends, I think you know what happened after that. I mean, that is just like issuing a double-dog dare to get our hands on the album.  This shit was going to be ours.  We were not babies!

Somehow one of us got a copy of it.  Like new from the store and everything.  That pretty much meant we both had a copy as the other immediately copied it.  I honestly don't remember how that came to pass.  Maybe one of our parents bought it, but if they did they obviously had no clue what the lyrics to those songs said or it never would have happened.  Hell, I'm pretty sure we didn't even understand what half the lyrics were talking about at the time, but we loved the music. The idea that we weren't supposed to be listening to it just made it even better.

We would spend hours with my brother, and sometimes his friends, down in the cellar rocking out to Let's Go Crazy.  My parents' cellar is not a nice finished basement.  It's filled with random stuff being stored, the washing machine is down there, and it floods when it rains.  This was obviously before my arachnophobia formed.  The ceilings were low.  It wasn't normally a cool place to hang out is my point.  However, we could be as loud as we wanted to down there and my mother didn't care because she knew where we were and we weren't bothering her or fighting with each other.  We learned all the lyrics to the song and air-guitared (is that a word?  It is now.) all over the place.  We didn't have a video camera, but we plotted out elaborate stories to go with all of the songs.  We were making our own kick-ass music videos in our minds.  Imagination is a beautiful thing.

We weren't stupid, though.  Even we knew enough that you did not play Darling Nikki where a parent could hear it or we would never be allowed to listen to Prince again.

Little Red Corvette and Raspberry Beret were safer options to listen to where parents could potentially overhear.  We didn't have a raspberry beret, but we did have a big, bright pink, floppy beach hat and a matching feather boa that we acquired from a yard sale.  You best believe we rocked that shit out of that ensemble in my friend's bedroom while dancing around like lunatics to the song.

That's just a bit of it, Friends.  It was a life-long love affair with Prince and his music from then on.

To this day I don't know how we ever got away with listening to Purple Rain when we did.  I have a vivid memory from the same time of my father washing my mouth out with soap for using the phrase "Jesus Christ" in less than savory terms while yelling at the bully down the street who had just done something to piss off and/or hurt my best friend.  If he knew what those songs were about there is no way we would have been allowed to listen to that album.

Rest in Peace, Prince.  You are the soundtrack to some incredible memories.  You were a treasure and a gift to the world.

Ah, Memories

Hey, Friends.

So, last night was the inaugural First Friday in the city of Poughkeepsie.  It was a fun evening and a good time with friends.

Anyway, a few drinks were had.

By the time we were at our third establishment of the evening, and I was halfway through my drink, I knew I had crossed the line into tipsy territory.  Luckily I did not have to drive any more that evening. (Thank you Juan Murphy's for being within walking distance of my house!)

I toddled on home and left everyone else to continue on their merry way.  I knew I was done at that point.  It wasn't until I was home, snuggled up in my pjs on the couch watching television, that the craving hit.

Sometimes when you have had a few drinks of the alcoholic variety, you really just want some greasy food that you know is totally shitty for you.  You know I speak the truth, Friends.  Sure, I had falafel earlier in the evening, but that wasn't cutting it any more.

Unfortunately for me, I had none of that in my house.  The best I could do was microwave some popcorn and think about what a sad replacement it was for what I really wanted, what I was absolutely craving and could not tear my mind away from.

Not pretty, but so damn good

I'm pretty sure I would have sold my soul to whomever would have brought me a Garbage Plate last night.  Too bad Nick Tahou's is like a six hour drive away.

And that started the memories of getting garbage plates at the Brockport Diner, and the hot dog man who was always conveniently located directly outside NorthBound.  Of the trippy fire alarms at R.I.T. that really freak you out the first time you are there to experience one in an inebriated state. Of randomly driving to Rochester late at night in search of the only 7-Eleven in the area because only a real Slurpee would do -- not any of this Parrot Ice stuff -- and then parking in a random parking lot to watch the lights of the city and just chill out.

Those were some good times.  I think a Phi Sig reunion should be in order ASAP.

And seriously:  some place around here needs to get a garbage plate knock-off going on. Preferably with delivery service.

It's National Dictionary Day, Hurray!

After discovering that it was National Grilled Cheese Day earlier this week, I was curious.  Are there other holidays like this that I have been missing out on?  Yes there are -- a ton of them.

I have chosen to embrace National Dictionary Day, which is today.  I know it is true because I read it on the internet, and the source said they were the first to provide the list and it was validated.

According to the same website, today in also:
Baby Massage Day
Children with Alopecia Day
International Moment of Laughter Day
Pan American Day

I swear I did not make any of those up.

National Dictionary Day is a fantastic opportunity to increase your vocabulary!  Maybe you can't read so well and could stand to learn a few new words.  Maybe you have a proclivity to drop the f-bomb into every sentence and people think it is the only thing you know how to say.  Maybe, like me, you are an enormous geek and really love dictionaries.

Let me take you back in time to my college years.  The internet wasn't really around -- there was no Google, no Facebook.  I took a programming class, and it was in C Basic.   I had a Brother word processor for typing my papers.   We could surf the web, as it was, using Netscape Navigator.  There might have been more cutting-edge technology out there, but I went to a SUNY school, so we didn't have it.  And before you go thinking I must be older than dirt, I am in my 30s. So shut up with the grandma jokes.

One of the things that I brought to college was a dictionary.  It was awesome!  It was  from the 1940s.  As I was an English major and a huge geek (no change there), I liked to flip through it to find new and unusual words.  My roommate was also an English major, and she too loved my super-awesome dictionary.  We decide to make a Word of the Day game.  Each day we would flip through the dictionary to find a whacky word that we didn't know, or one that wasn't commonly heard in conversation, and proclaim it the Word of the Day.  The only qualification beyond that was that it had to be a word that could easily be used in conversation.  We would write the word and its definition on a piece of paper, and tape it to the wall in the bathroom stall so that all of our suite-mates could also get their learn on while going potty.  You're welcome, suite-mates!

We  went through a lot of words in the 3 years we roomed together.  There are two that I clearly remember, as the entire suite adopted them and loved them as much as we did.

Squiffy:  slightly drunk

Quaff:  to drink a beverage, especially an intoxicating one, copiously and with hearty enjoyment.

As you can imagine, we used the two together in sentences quite often.  An example would be, "I can't wait until Friday night!  I plan to quaff some beer until I feel squiffy!" 

Good times.

In case that is not enough proof of my love and devotion to dictionaries, allow me to tell you about my hamster.  When I was older and living off campus, I had a pet hamster.  He was the best. hamster. ever!  I had gone to the pet store in town, and I picked out a Teddy Bear hamster -- the fattest one I could find.  I believe my exact quote was, "I want him!  The fat little hamster sitting in his food bowl and smiling like a happy Buddah statue!"  I named him Webster, after Noah Webster.  He would roll around in his little rolly-ball, and you could pet him and hold him as much as you wanted.  I would take him outside, carefully supervised, so he could eat clovers and he would literally vibrate with happiness.  Sadly, he only lived about 2 years.  RIP my little buddy.

So you see, I really do love dictionaries and words.  

Just to make this a more educational post, let me share a couple websites with you.

http://dictionary.reference.com/   -- use it, love it.  When you try to use a big word to sound fancy and you don't really know what it means because you never bothered to look it up and then you use it incorrectly, it drives people (like myself) crazy.

http://www.urbandictionary.com/  -- in case you need a little help to be hep to the jive the kids are using these days.