I Think My Bathroom Is Trying to Destroy Me

Hey, Friends.

Did you have a good day yesterday? Good, good.

I did, too.  In fact it was quite lovely until last night. I made the mistake of thinking a nice, relaxing shower before going to bed was just what I needed.

I was so, so wrong.

I'm pretty sure my bathroom is trying to destroy me.  I won't go so far as to call it the Vortex of Doom, but it's pretty close.

Let's examine the evidence, shall we?  Awesome.

First, it was the middle of the night repair job. Not fun, but I managed to handle it.  Still a bit proud of my latent plumbing skills on that one.

Then it was the sizzling sink.  I maintain that the sink should never make noises like that.

Then it was the spiders.  The giant, creepy, ninja-spiders that will totally show up as an unwanted guest when you are in the shower.  I really hate spiders.  I cannot stress that enough. And yes, I am still paranoid that another one will show up and try to attack me.

Last night the bathroom apparently decided that sleep deprivation would be a fun new twist to bring to its little torture game.  Why yes, I am talking about my bathroom as if it is a person.  I'm starting to believe that the room has a mind of it's own, and it is filled with evil intent.  It would explain why the previous owner of the house left a couple of rosaries hanging in the basement.

I wish I was kidding.  And yes, I left them right where they were.

So, I decided to take a nice, hot, relaxing shower last night before bed.  It seemed like a great idea. Just ease on into the work week on a good note.  Totally normal, right Friends?

The bathroom thought otherwise.  

I got out and was in my pjs, ready to toddle on off to bed, and I could not get the door to open. Apparently the bathroom decided that we had not spent enough quality time together that evening, and it wanted to prolong my stay a bit.

At first I thought maybe the door knob was just slippery, and maybe  I hadn't really turned it enough. I dried off the knob and gave it another try.  No dice.

What the heck?  This has never happened before.  The door doesn't even have a lock, so it's not like I accidentally locked myself in.

I tried giving it a harder tug.  Nothing.  It creaked, but that was about it.

What the heck is wrong with the door?!

Have I mentioned that I live alone, Friends?  Yeah.  There is no use even attempting to pound on the door and call for help.  Only the two cats would hear me, and of the two only Jazz-kitty would actually show any interest in the noise.  Unless she has gained some dazzling physical and mental prowess that has heretofore gone unnoticed -- she is not going to be much help.  

I decided that the door must have swollen up from the humidity in the bathroom.  That's the only thing I can come up with.  Maybe there was enough difference in the temperature and humidity between the bathroom and the rest of the house that it just stuck shut.

I couldn't call anyone.  For a start, my phone was not in the bathroom with me.  Kind of kills the whole idea right off the bat.  Even if it was, who the heck was I going to call?  My parents?  They are the only ones with a spare key to even get into my house.  It was literally midnight by this point. Even if I had my phone I wouldn't call them at that hour unless it was a dire emergency.

Do you know how long I was trapped in my bathroom, Friends?  A little over an hour.

Do you know how boring it is to be trapped in your bathroom?  No phone.  No music.  No way to entertain yourself.  Just you in a steamy bathroom, randomly tugging on a door and praying that this will be the time that it opens.  

Why not climb out the window?  That's an excellent thought, Friends.  It would at least have given the window in the shower a purpose. 

 **Side note: why the heck do they always put the window in the shower right next to the shower head?  I mean, I'm all for letting in the natural light, but does it really have to be placed right where you are going to be standing naked in the shower?  It could at least be at the other end to pretend that privacy exists. My window opens onto my driveway, and my neighbor's house is like 15 feet away. We don't need to know that much about each other.  Ever.**

I digress.  I had a lot of time to contemplate the mysteries of the universe, as you can imagine.  Back to the point: climbing out the window would be useless as the doors and windows were all locked, and I did not bring my house keys into the shower with me.  Silly me. I did contemplate just opening the window, but it was cold out and I didn't want to get sick.  Everyone at work is already getting sick, and I did not want to weaken my defenses against whatever plague-like germs they have been spreading around.

I did briefly toy with the idea of trying to unscrew the hinges using my nail file.  MacGyver would totally be able to pull that shit off.  Of course, he probably never would have been trapped in his bathroom to begin with.  I decided that was way too much effort for the middle of the night.

Finally, mercifully, the door opened. I may never latch it all the way again.  At the very least I may start bringing my phone in with me so that I have a source of amusement if I should be stuck again.

And that is why I think my bathroom is trying to destroy me.  Just when I think nothing else could possibly go wrong in there, it does.

Oh well.  Gave me time to go through all of my nail polish and weed out the old ones.  Maybe it also acted as a giant full-body steam treatment.  Silver lining, I guess.

There's a Hole in the Wall

Hey Friends.

Let's start with the boring back story first, shall we?  Fantastic.

We had to move a fire extinguisher at work yesterday.  It was built into the wall in the Children's area near the activity wall.  Even though it was in a case with a lock on it, we couldn't actually keep it locked. If a fire were to break out it would be silly to have to find the key to be able to put it out. Needless to say, little patrons with small fingers found it intensely interesting.  Obviously, it had to be moved.

I knew maintenance had been doing some work over there, but since it is all the way across the building I hadn't really been paying attention to it.  It wasn't until a coworker told me it looked we cut a hole in the wall, changed our minds, and then patched it up that I wondered what the heck was going on.  Another coworker then explained what had happened.

Being a curious person, I had to see what exactly they were talking about.  This is what I found:

Very attractive.  Not noticeable at all.

We started discussing that we were really missing an opportunity to get creative by just patching it up and making it a boring old wall again.  Someone said we should have a Library Elf who lived in there, and we could make it his little house.  Another person said we should make it a cabinet of interesting things for little kids to play with or touch.  Both very sweet ideas which will never happen.  I took it in a different direction.

**Friends:  I feel the need to explain here that none of my following suggestions are to be taken seriously.  They are jokes.  Maybe not funny if you don't work in a library, but they are jokes. People misinterpret shit all of the time on the internet, so before anyone starts freaking out about child endangerment or the likes let me be very clear:  NOT SERIOUS.  JOKING!  I WOULD NEVER HURT OR ENDANGER A CHILD IN ANY WAY.  We clear?  Excellent.**

I thought they were missing an excellent opportunity for a way to control story time behavior. It could be a teaching tool.  Just think of the possibilities!

Idea #1:  For the child who cannot control their frustration/anger

"Jimmy.  Jimmy!  You cannot hit other children during story time!  That's it, young man.  Now you have to sit in the hole in the wall for the rest of story time and think about what you've done."

Idea #2:  To encourage parent participation

"I don't know, Jane.  I don't think your Mommy was really singing along today.  I'm pretty sure she was just lip-synching.  Sorry, kiddo.  Looks like you have to go in the hole.  Maybe Mommy will learn how to participate better by next week."

Idea #3:  For the over-zealous participants

"Bobby!  This is Toot & Scoot, not a demolition derby!  Smash into one more kid on purpose and it's off to the hole with you."

It would work for the older kids as well.  It might be a tight fit, but I think it would still be doable.

Idea #4:  For the kids who like to push the boundaries

"Look, Elena.  I know you know the rules about using the computers, but you choose to keep trying to skirt around them to stay on longer.  Keep it up and you're going in the wall.  You think Harry Potter had it rough?  His cupboard under the stairs was freaking cozy compared to what you'll find in the hole."

The beauty part is you wouldn't even have to do any of them -- just the threat should be enough to deter any problems.  Make that hole in the wall look creepy as hell and no one will ever want to be sent there.

Idea #5:  On a less traumatizing note, it could be made into a game.

Put a little door knob on it.  Every few days you switch what is behind the door when you open it:  it could be a picture, a toy, a book -- anything that would fit inside.  You make up a little bingo card and each square has an item that could potentially be behind the door.  The kids can pick up a card, and every time they come to the library they have to check what is behind the door.  They get a staff member to initial the correct square verifying that they really checked the door on the proper day. (There are a lot of cheaters out there.  Trust me.)  When they get a Bingo they get a prize.  Like a reward for coming to the library regularly.

What?  I'm full of all kinds of ideas, Friends.  I'm not an evil person.  My sense of humor just skews toward the dark side at times.  It was a long week.

It's all highly irrelevant, however.  Soon it will just be a boring yellow wall once again, although it did make that last hour of the work week a lot more amusing.  

Note:  None of the names used in the examples are actual specific patrons.  They just popped into my head as random names to use.  

Phone Notes Part III

Hey, Friends.

I've been neglecting you, I know.  I'm a terrible person.  I feel bad.  Promise.

Worse yet, this isn't even a real post.  I mean it is a post, but it really isn't because it is more phone notes -- drivel I saved in my phone with every intention of expanding on it here, but then I got too busy or distracted by something and didn't ever get around to doing anything with it.  If you been hanging around here for a while you know the drill.  If you are just finding your way here?  You can check out my earlier installments of blathering here and over here.

I wasn't really sure about doing yet another set of phone notes, but I've got to get this stuff off my phone.  The poor thing needs to be coddled and it's storage space needs to be respected.  We're trying to save the life of my iPhone, Friends.

So, without further ado, please enjoy the things I thought were amusing and/or interesting at one point, and then chose to forget about entirely.

1) When someone refers to a coworker as your "work husband": sometimes that is okay.  In certain cases you have to bite your tongue to keep from explaining -- in great detail -- why there is no way in hell that is true, and how you never want to hear a reference to said person being your "husband" in any way, shape, or form ever again.

2) I think there should be a television show set in a public library -- like The Office or Parks & Recreation. (If such a thing already exists, someone please point me to it!) It would need a snazzy theme song, though.  On more than one occasion I have found myself pondering the possibilities.  I'm not a composer myself, so it has to be an existing song.  My favorite of the moment is this one:

3) Just missed a call that my phone tells me came from Tonganoxie, Kansas.  To the best of my knowledge I don't know anyone from Tonganoxie, but I do like the name.  

4) The Christmas season brings many gifts.  Among them (depending on how you look at it) is the gift of learning which of your friends/family/associates have no idea of the difference between Merry, Marry, and Mary.

5) Have you ever been in the line at the grocery store, started reading the headlines on the scandal/gossip magazines, and felt like a loser?  Forget the truth or accuracy of said reporting, because a lot most of it is completely made-up crap.  (I really don't understand how some of these things haven't been sued into non-existence, but I digress.)  According to the headlines, this one celebrity has gotten divorced, started dating, and gotten pregnant in the same amount of time that I have been on two dates that went nowhere.  I seriously begin to question what is fundamentally wrong with me and have to remind myself that most of this shit isn't true. Plus, it must totally suck if you are the person this stuff is being written about.  How must the people in those headlines feel when they are waiting in line at the grocery store?

6) Just overheard a coworker tell someone that they should refer all the "Big, scary people with lots of tattoos" to me because "She's fine with it, and they seem to like her better." -- Honestly, this explains so much. I can't even begin to describe how much sense this makes of my life at work.

7)    

I have issues sending flowers to Texas.  Click here if you want the story.

I think I have wasted enough of your time now, Friends.  I'm honestly kind of surprised if you made it this far. Thanks for reading...you know, assuming you still are at this point.

It's Not That Kind of Post

Hey Friends.

So, I kind of feel that the simple act of posting anything today obligates me to wish you all a Happy Valentine's Day.

Happy Valentine's Day.  There you go, Friends.

Be glad you even got that, as in this little corner of the world we are ignoring the holiday as much as possible and pretending it is just another Sunday. If your heart is filled with Valentine's joy and you are looking to read all about how wonderful love is, posts filled with fluffy bunnies and sunshine and rainbows?  This is not the place for you.

Sorry, Friends. I'm thrilled for you that you found your special someone.  I'm delighted they bought you beautiful flowers/candy/jewelry/vacations/ fill-in-the-blank-gift.  You deserve it.  I'm happy for you, really!  I know you're just feeling the love and sharing your happiness with everyone.  It's a beautiful thing.

I was tired of the holiday before it even arrived this year.  I feel like the stores and television commercials have been pushing Valentine's Day since Christmas. Nothing like almost two months of being constantly reminded that you are single to make you feel like a winner!

There is one thing I do enjoy about the holiday, and that is the plentiful varieties of chocolate that are available.  Chocolate is always good.  Not coffee-level awesome, but good.  I think it might be the only part of Valentine's Day I am good with...you know, assuming I had a guy to give me a gift.  And yes, I have had lots of time on my hands to ponder these things while watching all of the commercials, thank you very much.

Let me try and explain the warped logic that makes sense in my head.  I'll stick to the big three that seem to be the most popular gifts I've seen this year.

Flowers.  Flowers are nice.  I'm not saying I would be mad if someone gave them to me.  I know that I am crap at keeping them alive and looking pretty in a vase. They would wilt really quickly and then I would feel bad that the person spent all of that money on them.  I'd much rather get a bunch of wildflowers on some random day of the year.  Surprises are good, and the only expense is time and effort.  Plus, I feel like wildflowers are survivors -- they know how to grow in the cold, cruel world outside of a greenhouse and would have better odds of making it when left  to rely on me to remember to water them in a vase.

Jewelry.  First, are people really buying this many diamonds?  I saw so many commercials for diamonds this year it was amazing.  But I digress.  I love jewelry.  I wear it all the time, however none of it is expensive jewelry.  Expensive jewelry makes me nervous, Friends.  It would literally sit in my house and never be worn except for special occasions.  Well, unless it was a wedding ring, but even that would make me nervous.  I would constantly be worried about losing it or damaging it in some way.  Especially at work.  I wouldn't know what to do if presented with one of those Pandora charm bracelet things.  I don't like them.  Not at all.  They're entirely too cutesy for my taste. Plus, all the things dangling off my wrist would just be in the way, or begging to get tangled on a shirt, or caught on something, and then it would be broken, and then I would feel bad.  Hopefully a guy even contemplating buying me jewelry would know me well enough to know that.  (Figured I might as well get all of my jewelry-venting out while I was at it.)

Vacation.  On second thought, I could be good with this as well.  Who doesn't like vacation?  It could never be a surprise, though, as I would never be able to go.  No lie, my job is ridiculous when it comes to vacation time.  We have to chose for the year in like November/December.  After that it's like the Hunger Games: may the odds be ever in your favor.

There you go, Friends.  This is the drivel that goes on in my head.  Deep thoughts about shit that has no actually relevance in my life.

Before I go back to ignoring the holiday in its entirety, I will cop to having bought myself a gift of sorts.

It was delicious.

Happy Valentine's Day, all you loved-up people.

To my fellow single Friends: the day is almost over.  It should be safe to look at social media again in a few hours.

Pride and Prejudice and Zombies

Hey, Friends.

I went to see the movie Pride and Prejudice and Zombies tonight.  In case you haven't already guessed at this point, I'm going to tell you how I felt about it.  I'll do my best to try and avoid any big spoilers for those who are going to go and see it, but it probably won't be entirely possible.

Therefore:

If you want to be sure to avoid any kind of spoilers, stop reading now!

I think I've made myself clear.

The movie was fun.  Was it spectacular, or even what I was expecting?  No. No it was not.

I love Jane Austen, but I am by no means a purist about her books.  Pride and Prejudice is a great story because the core of it is so strong that you can still successfully adapt it and change it. Human nature is human nature, no matter what time period. You can set it in the modern day and it would translate.  You can even add zombies and it will work.  I really enjoyed the novel version of Pride and Prejudice and Zombies by Seth Grahame-Smith.  Heck, I even read the graphic novel version as well. It still made sense even with zombie and ninja skills added in. (I'm going to refer to the movie and book of the same title as PPZ from now on, as I am already getting tired of typing the whole thing out every time.)

Now we are going to discuss the movie, Friends.  If you ignored my earlier warning, then you really need to stop reading now before I potentially ruin it for you.

Still reading?  It's your own fault from here on out.

I thought the actors were great.  The zombie make-up and effects were well done. If you're squeamish about the potential of lots of blood and gore?  You don't need to worry.  There really is not all that much of it, which would be a con if you were going into this thinking, "at least I'll get some good zombie violence."  No, you really won't.

My biggest problem with the movie is the plot.  I'm not talking about changes from the original Pride & Prejudice by Austen either -- that still manages to echo through.  I'm talking about changes from the book version of PPZ.  

When they say at the beginning that it is based on the novel, they are not kidding.  It is really loosely based on that book.  There might actually be more of the original book in the movie than the PPZ book.

Two of my favorite bits of the novel-version were left out entirely.  

1) The ridiculous idea that zombies could confuse cauliflower with brains.  I loved that part of the book, and if you accepted the fact that the zombies (also called "unmentionables", "dreadfuls" and "stricken") were dumb enough to fall for that ploy then it actually worked.  It kind of made sense as a readily-available means of protection.  It was just silly.  It kind of set the tone for how the book was going to go.

2) Charlotte Lucas.  Her whole plot line is pretty much non-existent in the movie version.  Just wiped away after her purpose is served in getting Elizabeth to meet Lady Catherine.  I was really sad that it wasn't included. Mr. Collins is probably happy bout it though, as it changed his role as well.

What was there was a hot mess and a lot of things that were not in the book at all. The least spoilery (is that a word?  It is now.) way to describe it is to focus on one character.

Wickham.  What the f%^k was up with that plot line?  Wickham and the gentlemen with the top hats.  I'm really trying to keep this as vague as possible so as not to ruin it for anyone -- even though they obviously cannot follow directions if they are still reading at this point.   That was ridiculous.  The novel version of PPZ gave him a much more fitting end.  I was with it up to a point. I was willing to go with it and see where it was headed.  The Big Reveal just wasn't big.  It was kind of obvious.  I'm pretty sure the point of the entire thing was to have an excuse to blow shit up, and have some epic zombie battle.  Except there really wasn't an epic zombie battle.  Don't even get me started on the bit at the very end with the credits.  That was asinine.  Way to jump the freaking shark.  I sincerely hope that was not meant to lead up to a sequel.  

Was it a fun movie?  Yeah.  I could have waited to see it on Netflix or dvd and would have enjoyed it just as much.  It had a couple humorous moments -- they still got Mr. Darcy to go swimming in a pond.  In my opinion, it failed to find the weird parody humor of the book.  It tried too hard to be a serious zombie movie, and then it didn't really deliver on that.

That's just my opinion, Friends.  Feel free to disagree with me.  By all means go see the movie if you wish.  I'm not trying to stop you. Maybe you'll feel the opposite and think it is the most awesome thing you have ever seen.

I Went to Explore and Found a New Friend

Hey, Friends.

As you know if you've been hanging around here for a while, I like to go on adventures and explore when the weather is nice.  I had the day off today, so why not get out and do something?  I'm trying to work my way through visiting all of the Scenic Hudson parks.  Not a huge goal, I realize, but it's still a goal.

Anyway, today I got it in my head that I should go check out Four-Mile Point Preserve.  (You can look it up yourselves at the link above.  I have full confidence in your ability to click a link.  You did find your way here, after all.)  I don't know why I randomly chose that one, but I did.  It's like an hour drive from here, and I was going to have Google Maps as my copilot once again.

My copilot behaved this time, and we (yeah, Google and I are a we now) were able to get there without incident.  I maybe should have looked at the website a little closer because it is the tiniest park I have been to so far.  I was kind of bummed to see that it was so small after driving all the way to get there, not going to lie.  It was still beautiful, though.  I imagine it would be gorgeous in the spring or summer.

So I was wandering around, taking some pictures.  I thought I had the place to myself since there were no other cars in the parking area.  Imagine my surprise when I walk up the one short trail to find a guy hanging out at the top, checking out the view.

There are a lot of different reasons people go to parks and just hang out.  Some, like myself, are just out to explore and see a new place.  Other people are looking for a little solitude and quiet reflection.  It can be weird when you bump into people like that.  Many will pretend you aren't even there.  I didn't know what this guy's deal was, so I stayed off to the side so as not to bother him.

I didn't need to worry, as my new friend Habib is quite the talker.  He's a really cool, down to earth dude.

He jumped right in by saying hello and asking if I'd ever been there before, did I know it was a place that the Native Americans used to live?  I told him I had never been there before.  He told me he comes here every day for an hour or two.  He's in the area visiting for a month for his daughter's wedding, and comes every day to see the natural beauty, and to keep in shape.  He told me he's 60 but he's really active -- he does push-ups and his jump roping while he's there, listens to his music, and he calls and talks to his family and friends in Tunisia, Italy, and Paris.  He asked why I was there, and I explained that I just wanted to check it out since I had the day off from work.  Of course that led him to a million questions about where did I work, where was that, what did I major in during college, etc.  He was just a chill, positive, chatty dude.

There's really no good way to explain Habib -- he's more like an experience.  The best I can do is share some of what he said today, and you can form your own opinions.

"I'm from Tunisia, you know in the Mediterranean? I grew up in an olive grove.  Then I lived in Paris, Italy, and now I live in Venice Beach.  You know where Tunisia is?  Yes, good!  You know! It's not he Middle East!  Everyone thinks it's the fucking Middle East."

"I like to come here because it's natural, untouched.  We don't have that in California -- we build right over everything.  I couldn't live here though.  I don't like this winter.  I'm too warm-blooded."

"Have you ever been to Venice Beach?  You've heard of it though!  It's a fucking zoo!  I leave my house everyday and boom!  People from all over the world, speaking a hundred different languages.  You're a writer, you would like it.  All those people to see.  Did you know it's only 12 blocks long?"

At that point I did say I thought it was bigger than that.

"Pfft!  That's the other part, the canals.  I'm not talking about that part.  The real part, the strip is 12 blocks.  Do you know when the tourists come we are the second biggest attraction behind Disney Land?  It's true!"

"I'm a professional hand-drum player.  You know the hand-drums?  I also do voice-over work for animations."

"I like the Obamas, The Clintons, and the Kennedys.  You know why?  Because they were inclusive.  They say 'Come with us!  We can do great things together!'  This Trump guy?  How the hell is he even running for President?  The man is an idiot.  He thinks that money is the answer to everything.  He thinks he can be President because it is a capitalist country.  He knows nothing about the world."

"Have you ever been to Texas?  Man, I was there for a trip and it is different!  They even have signs on the highway that say "Everything's Bigger in Texas"!  And they mean it!  Even the racism is bigger.  Bunch of fucking rednecks.  It's not like here or California."

And then I told him my brother lived in Texas.

"Yeah, but he's in the Tex-Mex part, near the Gulf.  The part I was in was a lot different.  All those wanna be rancheros.  Think they're real cowboys with their big trucks."

"You come into this world alone, and you die alone.  In the middle you have to look out for and take care of yourself.  You just take care of yourself, and the rest of it -- love, career, it will come to you. You are special, I can tell.  You are natural, a good person.  Don't let the assholes get to you.  Just believe in yourself and good things will come to you.  When someone gets in your face or says hurtful things, you just tell them to fuck off.  Say, "Save that drama for your mama!" "

"I'm not a religious man.  I believe there were three great men with important messages.  The first was Moses:  he led the Jews to freedom, parted the seas.  He brought hope.  Then there was Jesus: he was a hippie.  You need healing?  He'll help you.  Give you food.  Give you the clothes off his back.  He brought the help.  Then there was Mohammed: he brought peace.  That's what the Koran means, you know, peace.  Those terrorists?  They're not real Muslims.  They don't know shit about what they are talking about."

And then he started telling me all about his idea for a cartoon about dolphins.  And a detailed explanation about traditional weddings in Tunisia, and how he wanted to incorporate the two ideas together.  And he wants me to collaborate with him on writing it. "Like the Lion King, sort of."

"Do you smoke weed?  I do, but it's legal in California.  Helps the artist to see better."

"Where do you live?  Whoa, say it again!  How do you even spell Poughkeepsie?  I bet that's from a Native American word.  I love all the place names around here!"

"Why did you come here today?   I think it was a sign.  We are the only two people here on a beautiful day.  Neither of us even live here!  I think we were destined to meet.  Can I give you a hug, my friend?"

"I like Hudson.  Have you been there?  There's a street you would like, all kinds of book shops and cafe life.  I don't like Albany.  It's too dark."

That's the highlights, Friends.  We literally just hung out and talked about all kinds of random stuff for like 2 hours.  He's a cool dude.

And then he asked if I could give him a ride back to his daughter's house, and I said yes.  I know! What the hell was I thinking, giving a ride to a guy I just met.  He could have been a serial killer or a con man, who knows?  In retrospect it was probably a dumb thing to do, but he was such a nice guy it didn't even cross my mind that anything could go wrong. Turns out his daughter lived like a mile away, so it truly wasn't a big deal.

And then he asked for my zodiac sign.  Which, given recent events, was kind of strange.  I told him I was a Taurus, and he immediately asked if my birthday was in April or May.  I told him it's in May. (Seriously, am I the only one who doesn't know which zodiac signs go with what part of the year? Cause this is a bit ridiculous.)  And then he started laughing and something about the seventh house, and "Seven is Heaven!".  I didn't follow that part at all, and it must have shown, as he assured me it was kismet and nothing but good things.

And then he gave me his phone number and email so we can keep in touch.  He wants to get together again before he goes back to Venice Beach in a month so we can talk more about the animation.  He didn't even ask for my contact information.  He told me my destiny was what I make it, and fate is in my hands.  And that he's going out dancing in Saratoga Springs tonight, and tomorrow he leaves to go to Atlantic City with his cousins from Canada for a week.  But maybe after that we could get together again?

Dude is a trip!  It was an unexpected part of the adventure, but I really enjoyed talking with him.  I'm glad I randomly decided to go to that park this afternoon.

And no, Friends, he wasn't hitting on me.  Get your minds out of the gutter.  There was none of that kind of vibe coming from him.  He was just a nice guy, and I think he was happy to have some to talk to.

Oh, and I took a couple of pictures, since that was what I had planned on doing in the first place.

Pond Overlook

Hudson River view, where our chat took place

Fun With Comment Spam!

Hey, Friends.

I feel the need to share the comment that someone placed twice within a matter of minutes on the last entry I wrote.  It came from someone using the name Charles Marvin, and it claims to be on behalf of the Illuminati.  Yeah.  It's so blatantly a scam that I find it amusing.

*The only changes I made were to put it in italics to try to give it more panache, and I removed the contact info he provided so that no one would actually attempt to contact this person.* 

WELCOME TO THE GREAT TEMPLE OF ILLUMINATI WORLD RICHES. Are you a business Man, politician, musical, student and you want to be rich, powerful and be famous in life. You can achieve your dreams by being a member of the Illuminati. With this all your dreams and heart desire can be fully accomplish, if you really want to be a member of the great Illuminati then Once you join the brotherhood, you will be given $20,000,000,00 to start up any business you want to start up. call or whatsapp our agent via

It would be rude not to respond to an offer that is so life-changing that Charles felt the need to make it twice, right Friends?  At the very least he could perhaps get some constructive criticism out of it. I'm not about to contact him via his preferred methods, but perhaps he will stumble his way back here again and see a note if I leave it for him.

Dear Charles,

I would like to thank you for reading my last blog post, but I feel you don't deserve such credit.  I highly doubt you bothered to read a single word that was written before posting your comments.  It might be unfair, but I base this assumption entirely on the fact that your comments had nothing whatsoever to do with the content of said post. You hurt my feelings, Charles. You got my hopes up that my writing had truly resonated with someone, and then you dashed them against the rocks of callous, impersonal internet spam.  Would it kill you to at least put in the effort to appear to have read it?

I'm a nice person, Charles, so I did take the time to read what you wrote.  Since you went to all of the trouble of copying and pasting the same statement twice, I can only assume that it must be very important to you.  As such, I have a few thoughts I would like to share with you and the Brotherhood of the Illuminati in return.

1) I am not a "business Man", politician, or student.  I'm most certainly not a musical.  I think your offer is void right from the start.  Sorry, Charlie!

2) Does the Illuminati really recruit new members to their alleged ranks by random comments on blog posts?  I bet not.  I'd think that such a secretive organization (assuming it exists beyond myth) would be a little bit more selective in their membership recruitment process.

3) Whatsapp?  Really? 

4) How much money are you actually offering?  Your comma placement leaves a bit to be desired. Is that supposed to be 20 billion dollars and you just forgot a zero, or is that last comma meant to be a period and it's only a measly 20 million dollar offer?  There's a big difference. I think the Brotherhood might be a tad annoyed at your lack of specifics.

5) If the Illuminati have all of this money, why can't they hire someone to write comments that don't have to be deciphered?  I'm not saying that you have to have perfect grammar, but that's a hot mess. 

6) Would you happen to be related to CHARLES TAYLOR (JNR) who sent a fax to the library a while back?  I only ask because your writing style seems very similar.  Maybe it's just a coincidence that you both claim to be named Charles. It is a pretty common name, after all.

In closing, I am going to have to pass on your offer.  While it would be nice to be rich and achieve all of my dreams and desires, I think that such success would be more enjoyable when earned on my own.  

Sincerely,

Me

P.S.: I also deleted your comments, as this is quite obviously a scam. I'm not going to enable you to pull anyone into this bullshit by leaving your contact information lingering about where less savvy individuals could stumble upon it.  Sorry again, Charlie.  I'd wish you good luck in your endeavors, but I would be lying.

P.P.S. : If there really is an Illuminati -- you need to invest in some better PR.  This is just sad.