Year In Review (sorta, kinda)

Hey there, Friends.

Well, 2016 is rapidly winding to a close.  I feel like I should give some kind of a little wrap-up thing on our time here this past year.

So, for those just burning with curiosity, the most popular post this year?  When I asked if I was a narcissistic asshole.  I'm happy to report that those who replied didn't think I was.  Warms the cockles of my heart.  I'm sure there are people who disagree, but they didn't bother to respond.

Second most popular?  That time a bear was spotted in my neighborhood...and then we had a power outage that night, and I kind of forgot about the potential of having a meeting with said bear face-to-face while I was out wandering the neighborhood in my pajamas.

Coming in a close third? Trying to interpret my weird-ass avocado dream.

That's an eclectic assortment of posts, Friends.  I don't quite know what to make of it, beyond the fact that I share my strange problems here and you all seem to enjoy reading about them.  I wish I could say the popularity of the bear post surprised me, but since the most popular posts last year were about the thug squirrels taking over my garage and my repeated battles with the Giant Ninja Spiders that kept invading my shower?  I'm actually shocked something else beat it out for number one.

If 2015 had a theme, it was my adventures with wildlife.

2016?  That's a little harder to determine, but the thing that seemed to pop up repeatedly was my lack of familiarity with astrology and the zodiac.  Like, I seriously cannot believe how many times people brought that shit up this year.

For starters: there was that embarrassing mortifying time a patron felt the need to go way too in-depth about what my zodiac sign meant.  (I'm a Taurus.  Read the delightful made-me-want-to-crawl-under-a-rock experience here!)

It's come up in conversations with people so many times this year, and every time I end up feeling like a dumb ass because I honestly just have no clue. Or maybe I'm just noticing it more, like the number of times I seemed to hear people talking about chipmunks after I  helped someone with a fan-fiction website.

So, as a step toward growth for the New Year I decided to start following a zodiac thing on Twitter.

Baby steps, Friends, baby steps.

I'm well aware that it is kind of a lame attempt at not being ignorant on the subject. I mention this because today the posts for 2017 started rolling out,

As a #Taurus Expect Great Things To Happen In 2017 With A Scorpio by your side.

— ZodiacFact (@ZodiacFacts) December 31, 2016

I'm all kinds of cool with this.  My brother is a Scorpio.  I already know he's got my back come hell or high water.  He might be down in the great state of Texas, but he's still got my back.

So I looked up Scorpio, assuming that it would say he should stick with a Taurus, right?  I mean that seems like it would logically make sense.  Apparently not.  He's supposed to be chilling with a Virgo, which is just all kinds of amusing to me.  (It's more amusing if you clicked on that link above about me wanting to crawl under a rock.)

This is why this shit confuses me to no end, Friends.  I had to go back and read them all.

As a #Cancer Expect Great Things To Happen In 2017 With A Taurus by your side.

— ZodiacFact (@ZodiacFacts) December 31, 2016

And then, because I still know jack shit about any of this, I had to go and look up Cancer to figure out what part of the year that even fell in.  Your birthday would be in June or July, which I now know. See, Friends? I'm already learning things.

On that note --

Happy New Year to all of you, Friends!  Thanks for continuing to read my ramblings here.  It gives me the warm fuzzies to know I'm not talking to myself.  I hope your 2017 is filled with good helth, happiness, and love.

**And if you happen to be a Cancer, we should totally hang out!  I appear to be a good luck charm for you this year or something.**

I Went to Explore and Found a New Friend

Hey, Friends.

As you know if you've been hanging around here for a while, I like to go on adventures and explore when the weather is nice.  I had the day off today, so why not get out and do something?  I'm trying to work my way through visiting all of the Scenic Hudson parks.  Not a huge goal, I realize, but it's still a goal.

Anyway, today I got it in my head that I should go check out Four-Mile Point Preserve.  (You can look it up yourselves at the link above.  I have full confidence in your ability to click a link.  You did find your way here, after all.)  I don't know why I randomly chose that one, but I did.  It's like an hour drive from here, and I was going to have Google Maps as my copilot once again.

My copilot behaved this time, and we (yeah, Google and I are a we now) were able to get there without incident.  I maybe should have looked at the website a little closer because it is the tiniest park I have been to so far.  I was kind of bummed to see that it was so small after driving all the way to get there, not going to lie.  It was still beautiful, though.  I imagine it would be gorgeous in the spring or summer.

So I was wandering around, taking some pictures.  I thought I had the place to myself since there were no other cars in the parking area.  Imagine my surprise when I walk up the one short trail to find a guy hanging out at the top, checking out the view.

There are a lot of different reasons people go to parks and just hang out.  Some, like myself, are just out to explore and see a new place.  Other people are looking for a little solitude and quiet reflection.  It can be weird when you bump into people like that.  Many will pretend you aren't even there.  I didn't know what this guy's deal was, so I stayed off to the side so as not to bother him.

I didn't need to worry, as my new friend Habib is quite the talker.  He's a really cool, down to earth dude.

He jumped right in by saying hello and asking if I'd ever been there before, did I know it was a place that the Native Americans used to live?  I told him I had never been there before.  He told me he comes here every day for an hour or two.  He's in the area visiting for a month for his daughter's wedding, and comes every day to see the natural beauty, and to keep in shape.  He told me he's 60 but he's really active -- he does push-ups and his jump roping while he's there, listens to his music, and he calls and talks to his family and friends in Tunisia, Italy, and Paris.  He asked why I was there, and I explained that I just wanted to check it out since I had the day off from work.  Of course that led him to a million questions about where did I work, where was that, what did I major in during college, etc.  He was just a chill, positive, chatty dude.

There's really no good way to explain Habib -- he's more like an experience.  The best I can do is share some of what he said today, and you can form your own opinions.

"I'm from Tunisia, you know in the Mediterranean? I grew up in an olive grove.  Then I lived in Paris, Italy, and now I live in Venice Beach.  You know where Tunisia is?  Yes, good!  You know! It's not he Middle East!  Everyone thinks it's the fucking Middle East."

"I like to come here because it's natural, untouched.  We don't have that in California -- we build right over everything.  I couldn't live here though.  I don't like this winter.  I'm too warm-blooded."

"Have you ever been to Venice Beach?  You've heard of it though!  It's a fucking zoo!  I leave my house everyday and boom!  People from all over the world, speaking a hundred different languages.  You're a writer, you would like it.  All those people to see.  Did you know it's only 12 blocks long?"

At that point I did say I thought it was bigger than that.

"Pfft!  That's the other part, the canals.  I'm not talking about that part.  The real part, the strip is 12 blocks.  Do you know when the tourists come we are the second biggest attraction behind Disney Land?  It's true!"

"I'm a professional hand-drum player.  You know the hand-drums?  I also do voice-over work for animations."

"I like the Obamas, The Clintons, and the Kennedys.  You know why?  Because they were inclusive.  They say 'Come with us!  We can do great things together!'  This Trump guy?  How the hell is he even running for President?  The man is an idiot.  He thinks that money is the answer to everything.  He thinks he can be President because it is a capitalist country.  He knows nothing about the world."

"Have you ever been to Texas?  Man, I was there for a trip and it is different!  They even have signs on the highway that say "Everything's Bigger in Texas"!  And they mean it!  Even the racism is bigger.  Bunch of fucking rednecks.  It's not like here or California."

And then I told him my brother lived in Texas.

"Yeah, but he's in the Tex-Mex part, near the Gulf.  The part I was in was a lot different.  All those wanna be rancheros.  Think they're real cowboys with their big trucks."

"You come into this world alone, and you die alone.  In the middle you have to look out for and take care of yourself.  You just take care of yourself, and the rest of it -- love, career, it will come to you. You are special, I can tell.  You are natural, a good person.  Don't let the assholes get to you.  Just believe in yourself and good things will come to you.  When someone gets in your face or says hurtful things, you just tell them to fuck off.  Say, "Save that drama for your mama!" "

"I'm not a religious man.  I believe there were three great men with important messages.  The first was Moses:  he led the Jews to freedom, parted the seas.  He brought hope.  Then there was Jesus: he was a hippie.  You need healing?  He'll help you.  Give you food.  Give you the clothes off his back.  He brought the help.  Then there was Mohammed: he brought peace.  That's what the Koran means, you know, peace.  Those terrorists?  They're not real Muslims.  They don't know shit about what they are talking about."

And then he started telling me all about his idea for a cartoon about dolphins.  And a detailed explanation about traditional weddings in Tunisia, and how he wanted to incorporate the two ideas together.  And he wants me to collaborate with him on writing it. "Like the Lion King, sort of."

"Do you smoke weed?  I do, but it's legal in California.  Helps the artist to see better."

"Where do you live?  Whoa, say it again!  How do you even spell Poughkeepsie?  I bet that's from a Native American word.  I love all the place names around here!"

"Why did you come here today?   I think it was a sign.  We are the only two people here on a beautiful day.  Neither of us even live here!  I think we were destined to meet.  Can I give you a hug, my friend?"

"I like Hudson.  Have you been there?  There's a street you would like, all kinds of book shops and cafe life.  I don't like Albany.  It's too dark."

That's the highlights, Friends.  We literally just hung out and talked about all kinds of random stuff for like 2 hours.  He's a cool dude.

And then he asked if I could give him a ride back to his daughter's house, and I said yes.  I know! What the hell was I thinking, giving a ride to a guy I just met.  He could have been a serial killer or a con man, who knows?  In retrospect it was probably a dumb thing to do, but he was such a nice guy it didn't even cross my mind that anything could go wrong. Turns out his daughter lived like a mile away, so it truly wasn't a big deal.

And then he asked for my zodiac sign.  Which, given recent events, was kind of strange.  I told him I was a Taurus, and he immediately asked if my birthday was in April or May.  I told him it's in May. (Seriously, am I the only one who doesn't know which zodiac signs go with what part of the year? Cause this is a bit ridiculous.)  And then he started laughing and something about the seventh house, and "Seven is Heaven!".  I didn't follow that part at all, and it must have shown, as he assured me it was kismet and nothing but good things.

And then he gave me his phone number and email so we can keep in touch.  He wants to get together again before he goes back to Venice Beach in a month so we can talk more about the animation.  He didn't even ask for my contact information.  He told me my destiny was what I make it, and fate is in my hands.  And that he's going out dancing in Saratoga Springs tonight, and tomorrow he leaves to go to Atlantic City with his cousins from Canada for a week.  But maybe after that we could get together again?

Dude is a trip!  It was an unexpected part of the adventure, but I really enjoyed talking with him.  I'm glad I randomly decided to go to that park this afternoon.

And no, Friends, he wasn't hitting on me.  Get your minds out of the gutter.  There was none of that kind of vibe coming from him.  He was just a nice guy, and I think he was happy to have some to talk to.

Oh, and I took a couple of pictures, since that was what I had planned on doing in the first place.

Pond Overlook

Hudson River view, where our chat took place

It's Written in the Stars...

Hey, Friends.

So, I had a really.....odd, I guess would be the best word, interaction with a patron earlier this week. I'm going to try and recount it as best I can, but I'm not sure the level of strange-ness is really going to come across.

I'd also like to preface this with the fact that I have pretty much zero knowledge of the zodiac or astrology -- nothing beyond reading my own horoscope some times. We're talking shits-and-giggles levels of seriousness, Friends.

On with our story!

A patron came up to the desk to return her books and make sure everything was back. I had never seen this patron before, but she seemed nice.  I like to be friendly, so when I saw she had a large pile of books about Astrology I asked if she was doing a research project or the like.  Her eyes lit up, and she started telling me that it's not a research project for a paper, but her work.  This is, apparently, what she does and has been doing for over 20 years.  She said she is constantly reading and doing research on everything "in the field", and she likes to use the library first to decide if any books are essential for her to buy for her own collection.

Friends, you know how people can get really intense when they are truly jazzed about something? It's like they are so passionate about it that they are bursting with joy and just want to bring you into it with them, to share the Awesome-ness that they have found?  By asking that one question I was now apparently a passenger on the train to Astrology Town.

The next thing I know she is asking me if I know my zodiac sign.  Well I actually do know that, so I tell her that I am a Taurus.  I don't know that her reaction would have differed any no matter what sign I had said, but she acted like I had just given her the best gift ever, or the key to unlocking the mysteries of the universe or something.

"Oohhh, the Bull!  You are an interesting one!  Do you mind if we talk for a little?"

Um, okay?  What am I supposed to say to that?  I don't want to be rude, she seems really excited about this, and why not. Maybe she'll give me some deep unknown insight into myself, or at least it will be amusing to recount later.  (I'm always thinking of you, Friends!)

She told me that I'm complex, and one of the more interesting signs in that I am "fixed", and other signs kind of "crash like waves against the fixed signs".  Alright.  I was trying to understand, so I asked if that meant I was like the giant boulder of the zodiac and she just laughed.  And then she said yes.

Great.  I'm a big zodiac rock.  So far none of this is sounding like a good thing.

She continues to tell me that being a Taurus makes me one of the most attractive signs in the zodiac. Ha! Okay. I'm amused now. I can't wait to hear the explanation for that statement.

Apparently my being a giant boulder means that I am constant, dependable, loyal, steadfast and that radiates security to others -- "security in yourself and your place in the world" I believe was the phrase -- and that is a very attractive feature to both friends and lovers who crave stability and security.  It also means I can be incredibly stubborn. (I'll admit that is accurate.) She said it wasn't stubborn just to be right, but "because you honestly believe your option is the best and everyone will be better protected if they listen to your advice."  I think maybe she was sugar-coating it a bit to make it sound better, but I'll take it.

And then she asked if I had any siblings, and did I know their sign.

Yup.  I have a brother.  His birthday is on Halloween so he's a Scorpio.  That is, quite literally, all of the zodiac signs that I know where they fall in the course of the year.

Friends, thank all that is holy my brother lives far away!  She got so riled up that his birthday was on Halloween and he was a Scorpio.  Apparently he's on "the cusp between worlds" or some shit and people born from October 30th to November 3rd have extra super-cool things going on. She was bummed when I told her he didn't live locally, like I think she literally wanted me to drag him in so she could talk to him.

Being a Scorpio makes my brother a giant boulder also, it seems.  He's another "fixed" sign.  She said we were really lucky, as apparently it could be "a very volatile pairing", and we would either get along incredibly well or drive each other crazy and be at each other's throats constantly.  She also said that since we could get along with each other so well we could probably get along with just about any sign, and had "innate flexibility" in dealing with others.  Kind of seems at odds with the whole stubborn rock idea to me, but whatever.

Friends, next is the part where she got all kinds of excited and I got super awkward, cause that's how I roll.

Patron:  What's your husband's sign?
Me: I'm not married.
Patron: Well, what's your boyfriend's sign then?  I know you must have a special someone.
Me: Nope.  No boyfriend.
Patron: Oh..a girlfriend then?
Me: No, it wasn't a question of gender preference.  You were right the first time -- I like guys.  I'm just single is all.
Patron: I'm so sorry, Dear!  I didn't mean to imply anything.
Me: It's fine.  You don't need to apologize.  You didn't insult me.  People  love who they love, there's nothing wrong with that.
Patron: See, that's what I mean about being attractive to all the signs!  You should not be single!

I would be amazed if I wasn't blushing the color of a tomato when she went on her next little rant. Like a whispered rant, which I get that she was trying to be quiet in the library and have privacy, but it kind of made it even more intimate and awkward.

As a Taurus, my "ruling planet" is apparently Venus.  She said that I am "naturally sultry and sensual" and that "draws people to you like a moth to a flame".  I had to bite back a laugh at that, and she just stared at me like I was crazy and told me that it was very obvious to everyone else, even if I didn't see it myself.  She also said that Taurus is the most erotic sign in the zodiac, and "any lover you have will go weak in the knees and do anything for you", and that past lovers will never really get over you.  This was so not a conversation I wanted to be having at the circulation desk with a stranger.  I would have been happy for a sinkhole to open under my feet at that moment and suck me in.  And then she went off on a tangent about how it wasn't about the sex, although that would be exquisite, but that it was the "spiritual connection, the physical level of love and trust" and I pretty much thought I was going to die if anyone overheard this conversation. Oh!  And I also have an "inner bad girl" that makes me just that more alluring.

Then she straightened up a bit, as she had been leaning over to whisper all of this like we were plotting a conspiracy of some sort, and said that is why she couldn't believe I was single. Was I sure I didn't have a boyfriend I just wasn't telling her about?  Fantastic. Now I can add being some kind of screwed-up zodiac anomaly to my "List of Things to Ponder When Feeling Like a Lonely Loser".

I just wanted out of this conversation at that point, and confirmed that I did not have a secret boyfriend.  She shook her head and said she didn't understand what was wrong with the men.  That maybe they were intimidated.  I know I gave her a look at that one, as intimidating is about the last thing I would consider myself.  She wasn't done though.  "No, you're very striking.  Obviously intelligent and open, confident but humble.  You're sex appeal is just a bonus from the stars.  I can easily see why men would be intimidated by you.  But that's okay -- you don't want anyone who is that restless anyways," and then she patted my hand like she was comforting me and letting me in on a secret.

I thought we were finally, blessedly, done at that point...but no.

She announced, with way more excitement than necessary, that I needed a Virgo.

What the hell does that mean?

Patron:  A Virgo!  Do you know any?
Me: Uh....maybe?  I don't know.  Is that someone whose birthday is in March?
Patron: *laughing like I just told her the funniest joke in the world* No, Dear!  Not March.  You need to do a little research on the zodiac.  A Virgo would be absolutely perfect for you.
Me: Okay?
Patron: Any Earth or Water sign really...

I was lost at that point, and it must have shown.  And she was staring -- like she was doing some sort of inspection and deep contemplation on me.  It was a little unsettling, no lie.

Patron:  Virgo would be the best, definitely.  There are other top contenders: Scorpio, Cancer, Pisces, Capricorn...maybe even another Taurus, but that could be a fiery disaster as well.
Me: Okay?  That's good to know, I guess.
Patron: Just think about it.  It's written in the stars!  It's not all just a bunch of hokum, you know.
Me:  I'm sure it's not.

Then she slapped the desk and turned to leave, telling me to keep a look out for a Virgo....and she would as well.

Just...how is this my life?  Seriously.  I should never have asked her about the damn books.

Being the geek that I am, I did actually look stuff up when I got home -- mainly to see if this woman was just completely off her rocker.  Thanks to Google and several websites, it seems like she really did know what she was talking about as it relates to astrology....well, she seemed to agree with what the websites were saying at any rate.  At least I know my new astrological acquaintance seems to be competent and wasn't just making stuff up -- she really believes in it.  It is not, however, going to be the basis on which I decide who to date.  I know there are people who believe there is a mystical truth to be interpreted from the stars and all, but I'm not in that group. I'm going to stick with getting to know a person and go from there. Worrying about potential zodiac compatibility is not on the list of priorities, sorry.

And now I feel the need to apologize to all the Virgos out there.

Your birthday isn't in March.  I know that now.  Your birthday would be in August or September. My bad.  I don't know any of this stuff, and I don't know why I randomly assumed it was in March.

And I would most especially like to apologize to all the Virgo men in the area. Honestly, I'm a little worried that this lady is now out there on the loose trying to play zodiac matchmaker on my behalf.

I'm really, really hoping she is not doing that.