Summer and Books

Hey, Friends.

Remember way back at the beginning of the summer when I talked about doing a summer reading program for adults?  No, probably not.  Just trying to keep up with the news is enough to boggle the brain at times.  If you want a refresher, you can read all about it here.

Sadly, the summer is almost over now.  School will be starting again here in a couple more weeks. Last night we had our party to celebrate the end of the summer reading program for adults and give out the prizes.

I chose some fabulous pink flamingo decor.

Rather than bore you all to tears with way too many details about it all, I'll just say it rocked.  Everyone made ice cream sundaes and chatted about books, and some lucky people won some pretty sweet prizes!

Being me, I had to complete the challenge even if I couldn't win any of the prizes.  I mean, it would be pretty sad if the staff running the program didn't do what we were asking all of the patrons to do, right?  Lead by example and all that jazz.

I will confess to using my own "quick and dirty" method to hit all of the categories in the challenge. Totally fair since I did announce to everyone at the launch party that it was possible.  I don't know that anyone else chose to go that route.  Doesn't really matter since my only prizes were the enjoyment of reading and getting to have ice cream for dinner.  (Hey -- you work until 9 pm and you can eat ice cream for dinner as well.  No judging.)

At the launch party everyone had been given a little notebook to keep track of the books they read, what categories that filled, and any notes they wished to make about whether they liked the book or not, any random thoughts the books brought to mind, etc.  

I chose to write down a snippet from each book that I really enjoyed.  There isn't any specific criteria for it when I choose them.  Some might have struck an emotional cord with me, or were amusing. Maybe I just liked the language and that particular phrase stood out.  There wasn't a set theme is the point I'm trying to make.  I've saved snippets from books for years -- I have notebooks filled with them.  If you've been hanging around long enough you might recall that I have shared some of them with you before:  Snippets.

So, I'm going to provide a link to Amazon for each of the books mentioned.  I feel the need to clarify the following, Friends:

I am not partnered/affiliated with Amazon or in any way making money from this.  I get absolutely nothing out of it if you should choose to buy a book.  I'm simply providing a link to the book for those who are unfamiliar with the title and want to read more about it.  If you are really interested in reading a title, I encourage you to go to your local library and check it out for free, or buy it from a local book store.  Hell, buy it at a garage sale for all I care.  The link is just for your information, not to sell you anything.

Are we all clear on that, kids?  Excellent.  Now on to the book snippets.

A Visit From the Goon Squad by Jennifer Egan

"The pause makes you think the song will end.  And then the song isn't really over, so you're relieved.  But then the song does actually end, because every song ends, obviously, and THAT. TIME. THE. END. IS. FOR.REAL."

Where the Sidewalk Ends by Shel Silverstein

Listen to the Mustn'ts

Listen to the MUSTN'TS, child,

Listen to the DON'TS

Listen to the SHOULDN'TS

the IMPOSSIBLES, the WON'TS

Listen to the NEVER HAVES

Then listen close to me --

Anything can happen, child,

ANYTHING can be.

One More Thing by B.J. Novak

"He said he didn't know: on one level, his heart believed that he should help as many people as possible, which was exactly what he was doing now.  But another part of his heart really wanted to see where this music thing might go if he put everything he had into it.  Couldn't your heart tell you more than one thing?  If you were truly confused about something, which he was right now, wouldn't that mean your heart was, too?"

The Confessions of Congressman X

"Perception is reality, and reality is whatever I decide it to be."

"This town is a sinkhole of leeches.  Everyone's trying to manipulate the political system to his own special advantage, often to the detriment of the country."

The Perks of Being a Wallflower by Stephen Chbosky

"Charlie, we accept the love we think we deserve."

The Hate U Give by Angie Thomas

"Once you've seen how broken someone is it's like seeing them naked -- you can't look at them the same anymore."

There you have it, Friends.  My summer reading at a glance.  The Hate U Give was by far my favorite of the books I read this summer.  Everyone should read it.  (One More Thing by B. J. Novak was really good, too.  The story about the girl on a date with a warlord was hilarious!)

Any of you read anything this summer that you thought was fantastic?  I'm always looking for recommendations!  

It's Not That Type of Adult

Hey, Friends.

How's it going?  I've been busy with a lot of things, especially going on at work.  In fact, let me tell you all about it right now because I'm more than a little proud of what we accomplished.

No, it's not about my awesome book group, although it is book-related.  Shocker, I know.

This year we are trying an adult summer reading challenge.

No, it's not that kind of "adult".  Get you heads out of the gutter, Friends.  I've already had more than one person ask me exactly what that entailed, and where did we keep those kind of books.  I could practically see the wheels in their heads turning -- some dark, overlooked corner of the library, cordoned off by beaded curtains, red light glowing overhead.  It just means it is for grownups. People over the age of 18.  It's not the program that happens every year for kids and teens.

A couple co-workers and I got to throw a kick-off event to get it started.  We really weren't sure how many people would actually be interested in participating.  It was a lot of work, but it was so much fun and it had a fantastic turn out!

I'm a little proud of what we pulled off, so I wanted to share it here.  Feel free to steal any ideas if you want to use them!  Maybe you have a book club of your own, or you're thinking of starting one, and need some ideas.  Maybe you just think some of the food looks awesome and want to try it yourself. Do as you please, kids.

First, we had the information tables.  Yes, tables.  Each person had to sign up, and then they got a little notebook to keep track of their progress on the summer reading challenge. The challenge?  To read 8 books in 8 weeks, and there are different categories to try and meet --  book published the year you were born, a poetry book, a book set in the Hudson Valley, etc.

My friend and co-worker, Chris, went all out on Readers' Advisory!  He made lists for everything: new releases, different genres, and lists based on different books, television shows, and podcasts that are popular.

List, booklets, and information on our book groups

Some of the lists that Chris made.

We also had a table for our Blind Date With a Book program.  We do this every year and people really seem to enjoy it.  The idea is that you pick a book based solely on the clues given to you.  It's all wrapped up so you cannot see what you are choosing.  Ideally it helps people to branch out and read a book they might not normally have chosen.  They might discover an author that they love but had never read before, or a new series, or find a subject really interesting and want to learn more. This year they also all had clues relating to the challenge part of the adult summer reading program.  

...and I might also have mentioned that some of the books met several different challenge categories.  I believe the exact phrase was, "If you want to do it quick and dirty, some of them meet several categories."  I was being helpful! Get all of the categories filled quickly, then read whatever you want for the rest of the summer. It's totally not cheating.

I wrapped 50 books.  I thought it would last a while.  I was wrong.  The supply lasted about 2 days, and then I had to start making more.

You have to have food and drinks at a party, right Friends?  Of course!  Since this was a party about books and reading, we decided that all of the refreshments should also tie to a book somehow.  None of you should be surprised that I was super stoked about this part.  I love coming up with these ideas for my book group every month!  (Need a refresher on my awesome book group?  Click here to get a taste.)

Let's start with the drinks....

Butterbeer! From Harry Potter, of course.  Chris made these and they were delicious.

I made non-alcoholic hurricanes.  I had made them when my book group discussed Isaac's Storm, and everyone really seemed to like it.

As you can see from my less than stellar camera work above, we also had regular refreshments for those who weren't feeling adventurous enough to try one of our more creative libations.  Good call on another co-worker's part for supplying those.

On to the food!  The rest of it is nice and all, but I know you really want to see what we came up with for that part of the evening.

The Devil in the White City  Chris made cupcakes that looked like little devils.  He even had a Ferris wheel cupcake display, and it actually turned!

Another co-worker made Kabobs for Under the Tuscan Sun.  They were delicious!

Chris also made an excellent chocolate trifle graveyard dessert (with awesome decor) for Lincoln in the Bardo.

I'm going to admit right now that we have reached the end of the classier offerings that were on the table.  I can say that because I made the rest of them, and classy was not on my mind.  I went more for amusing, or at least entertaining.  Some might say a little dark.  I fully admit to having a warped sense of humor.

Of Mice and Men  Those are little chocolate mice made out of maraschino cherries, Hershey's Kisses, and almonds.  

The men are Sour Patch Kids.  They were going to be gingerbread men, but I ran out of time.

Green Eggs and Ham  Why yes, I did make green eggs.  The ham is in the filling. 

Would you eat them here or there?

Would you eat them anywhere?

Alice's Adventures in Wonderland -- One of my all-time favorite books!  

It had to be included in the festivities.

(And the phrasing amused some people.)

Banana Cream Pie Murder -- the newest book in the series. I haven't read it yet, but the series is very popular.

Chocolate Pie from The Help.  Yeah, I went there.  It did lead to some interesting conversations.

Patron 1: Oh my God, you made the poo pie!

Me: This one is just chocolate pudding.  I swear.

Patron 1: Do you think anyone is going to eat it?

Me: Well, we'll certainly find out who read the book or saw the movie. It's also a good way to see how adventurous people are feeling.

Patron 2: *laughing* That is so sick!  Did you do that?

Me: Yes.  I take all the blame for that one.

Patron: You made the Eat Me cookies too, right?

Me: Yes again.

Patron 2: And the Green Eggs and Ham?

Me:  Guilty as well.

Patron 2: That's so awesome!

** Just a quick note: the links for all of the books above go to Amazon.  I'm not partnered with them, I'm not trying to get you to buy them.  I get nothing out of it.  They are simply there for your reference.  If you haven't read some of the books then you might not know how the food relates. **

The event went really, really well and had an excellent turnout.  It has been less than a week, but I'm hopeful that it is going to prove popular enough to do it again next summer.  

Of course I'm participating in the challenge as well -- can't ask other people to do what you aren't willing to do yourself.  I will also admit that I am using my own "quick and dirty" method on the challenge, and have managed to meet 5 categories so far.  I can't win a prize, but I am going to do my best to rock this thing.  I also might be just the tiniest bit competitive....even if it really is only against myself.

All credit in the world to Chris for doing a phenomenal job on this event, and doing an insane amount of work on the Readers' Advisory. Thanks to my other co-worker for her help and organizational skills!  I'm glad I could assist by wrapping books and making some interesting refreshment choices.

Oh, the Sweetness

Hey, Friends.

It's been a hot second since we last discussed my fab book group, and since we are meeting tonight I thought we could check in on it.  (You can find the last post about it over here.)

Tonight we will be discussing Sweetness #9 by Stephan Eirik Clark. Too lazy to click on the link to find out what the book is all about?  Fine.  I'll paste the blurb from Amazon here for you.

"It's 1973, and David Leveraux has landed his dream job as a Flavorist-in-Training, working in the secretive industry where chemists create the flavors for everything from the cherry in your can of soda to the butter on your popcorn.

While testing a new artificial sweetener--"Sweetness #9"--he notices unusual side-effects in the laboratory rats and monkeys: anxiety, obesity, mutism, and a generalized dissatisfaction with life. David tries to blow the whistle, but he swallows it instead.

Years later, Sweetness #9 is America's most popular sweetener--and David's family is changing. His wife is gaining weight, his son has stopped using verbs, and his daughter suffers from a generalized dissatisfaction with life. Is Sweetness #9 to blame, along with David's failure to stop it? Or are these just symptoms of the American condition?

David's search for an answer unfolds in this expansive novel that is at once a comic satire, a family story, and a profound exploration of our deepest cultural anxieties. Wickedly funny and wildly imaginative, Sweetness #9 questions whether what we eat truly makes us who we are."

Sounds interesting, right?  I was unaware when I picked it that it had also gotten the "Colbert Bump". No, that really is a thing. --> Colbert Bump

Now, how to decorate and make snacks for a book group centered around an artificial sweetener  that is pervading the food we eat?

This is the cover of the edition of the book that I read:

Bright pink sweetness.

I immediately had one idea of what to make for my book group, just from seeing the cover.  Friends, you might consider me to be a touch on the twisted side, or maybe the slightest bit evil when you see this. I like to think of it more as giving my book group a double dog dare.  

Strawberry cake with bright pink frosting, and pink sprinkles that look exactly like the picture of Sweetness #9 on the book cover.  

It had to be done, really.  I feel I would be remiss if I didn't try to freak them out a little bit by using something that looked just like the sweetener in the book.

Slight spoiler here, folks.

By the end of the book, our flavorist has moved to the West Coast and is living on a farm, raising organic produce and making small-batch organic sauerkraut that he sells.  Obviously, I had to do something that involved sauerkraut.  

Reuben Sliders

Table view

I decided to try to make the table look as much like the book cover as possible, so I went with baby blue to make that hot pink cake pop!

And no, I was not taking a swipe at Diet Coke by including it in tonight's festivities.  I always have it as an option at book group. Lemonade joined it tonight as the other option.

The decorations were a bit harder to come up.  I had a epiphany while wandering the dollar store this morning, getting the tablecloth and things.  Why not just decorate it with packets or artificial sweeteners?  That would be awesome!  And since the sweetener in the book was supposed to be this huge success that had invaded every aspect of America's food, why not some little party toppers?

Sugar-like substances

I also found some fun art that had been created for the book.

And related reading/viewing materials, of course.

Beyond my whacked-out idea of fun decorations and food, Friends, the book actually is a good read. I found the plot a little sluggish in the middle, and then the end seemed to wrap up really quickly.  It will definitely make you think twice about what the hell you are actually eating.  It also had writing that was really enjoyable. 

Three of my favorite passages from the book are:

"The physical and spiritual wonders of love.  It was all out there waiting for me, but it was also a fleeting fantasy."

"The questions that undermine our faith don't arrive through deep meditation and diligent study.  They pop up like soldiers from a foxhole, ready to shoot you down before you even have the time to realize you are dead."

"What do we do, David? We tell people, 'This is what a strawberry tastes like,' and eventually that's what they come to believe: this is what a strawberry tastes like."

It was a pretty successful night!  And in case you were wondering, Friends -- they totally ate some of the pink cake!  My book group s awesome.

Getting That Post-Apocalyptic Feeling

Hey, Friends.

As the month of September just came to an end, it's time for another post about my super-awesome book group.  Do these things bore you?  If so, you've got to let me know.  It is, however, what we are talking about here today, so feel free to bail out now if this isn't your thing.

This month we discussed Station Eleven by Emily St. John Mandel.  If you haven't read the book (and are too lazy to click on that link I gave you to Amazon to read the blurb there), let me share the description from the publisher's website:

"Kirsten Raymonde will never forget the night Arthur Leander, the famous Hollywood actor, had a heart attack on stage during a production of King Lear. That was the night when a devastating flu pandemic arrived in the city, and within weeks, civilization as we know it came to an end. 

Twenty years later, Kirsten moves between the settlements of the altered world with a small troupe of actors and musicians. They call themselves The Traveling Symphony, and they have dedicated themselves to keeping the remnants of art and humanity alive. But when they arrive in St. Deborah by the Water, they encounter a violent prophet who will threaten the tiny band’s existence. And as the story takes off, moving back and forth in time, and vividly depicting life before and after the pandemic, the strange twist of fate that connects them all will be revealed."

Everyone in the group loved this book.  It may sound rather dire when you read the description, but we were all left feeling somewhat optimistic and hopeful for the characters and the world at the end of the book.

You know what's coming next, Friends.  I get to have my fun trying to capture the feeling of the book for the decor and refreshments.  I love this part!  I like trying to surprise the group members by coming up with something they weren't expecting.  I'm not going to share the links to my past creations again -- you want to see those you can click on the "book group" tag at the bottom and it should take you to the other posts.  Well, I think it will.  It should, if I didn't screw it up.

Trying to shop for post-apocalyptic decor can be interesting all on it's own.  I'm pretty sure I had it much easier since all of the Halloween decorations are out in the stores.  I have also learned that the combination of things that I am buying at one time can make people curious.

My evening thus far. pic.twitter.com/DG81Q48yWE

— Tammy (@tammyshampoo) September 28, 2016

So that happened. Totally worth it though, as I think the final product came out pretty sweet.  I hope you enjoy the pictures.  I took them just for you, Friends.

First, let's take a look at the whole table.

Ignore the pretty colors on the floor.  We were having the apocalypse in the children's programming room....which might make it more unsettling.

Now let me try to explain what you are seeing on the table...

Why yes, I did mix skeleton parts and children's gift bag toys.

A lot of people died during the pandemic.  The Georgia Flu wiped out 99% or the population.  Most of the book's action takes place 20 years later.  There is no power, no gasoline, no medications for even the simplest injuries.  You still find bodies everywhere -- in bathrooms, in abandoned houses, in cars stuck on the highway where people where trying to escape.  The skeleton arm represents that aspect.  The toy instruments are the best I could do for the Traveling Symphony.  I thought they were cute!  People have once again begun to grow their own food to survive, hence the veggies.

Chocolate chip cookies and random beverages

You might be wondering how chocolate chip cookies would have survived the apocalypse.  They didn't.  They survived as memories of the people who lived through the pandemic and were old enough to remember them.  There was a bit in the book where one of the characters said they still dream of chocolate chip cookies sometimes, so I decided to include them.  Who doesn't like chocolate chip cookies?  The individual beverages were my attempt at making it look like a random assortment that might have been found in an abandoned convenience store.  

Related reading, for those interested

You might be wondering why there is a quote from Star Trek on the poster board.  It is from Star Trek, but it is also the motto of the Traveling Symphony.  I also like to include related books for people to check out if they are interested.  It's kind of expected since this is a library.

Ignore the parking lot in the background -- it's a graveyard

I wanted to include the graveyard from the settlement of St. Deborah By the Water. Originally I had planned to stage it outside the entrance to the room, but that had to change when we ended up in the children's area.  I didn't want to freak out any of the little kids who might be in the area to play and check out books.  Windowsill was the best I could do.

And now for the finishing touch!  I'm a little bit proud of this part, Friends.  I wasn't sure if it was actually going to work, or if the group would go along with my zany idea.  

Book group by candlelight

Since there was no electricity in the book, I decided we weren't going to use any at book group either. That should definitely help set the mood!  I can't exactly use real candles -- fire department would frown upon that and it would set off the sprinkler system -- so I used a ton of LED candles and a couple of lanterns.  Best part?  Everyone was cool with it and we totally had the discussion by candlelight.  My book group is awesome!

Another successful book group.  I highly recommend the book, if you like that kind of thing.  If you are doing a book discussion of your own, feel free to steal my ideas!  I'm sure I'm not the first person to have come up with them.  Sometimes it makes it easier to take the idea and run with it once you have seen that it can work, or has potential.

At Least I Can Give Them a Sugar High

Hey there, Friends.

So, this actually happened the evening before my last post -- we're time-travelling backwards, Friends!  If you already read that post, then this will fill in some of the details that might have had you scratching your head and wondering how it could possibly make sense.  Maybe you weren't wondering about it at all.  I don't know what goes on in your head when you read my babbling here.  If you haven't read it yet (and you really should, but I'm incredibly biased on this) you can do that after you have read this, and then you'll be reading it in chronological order and everyone else will just be screwed.  Deal?  Fabulous.

The other night I ran a book group at work, and we were discussing Furiously Happy by Jenny Lawson, aka The Bloggess.  I hadn't gotten many suggestions from my group when making the choices for this quarter, so this choice was all me.  I loved her first book, was pretty sure I was going to love this one as well, and there were enough copies in the library system that no one would have to go out and buy it.  I mean, not that they couldn't or shouldn't buy it, but we're a library so it's good to use library resources.   This is the cover of the book, which will hopefully make things just a little clearer for those of you who haven't read it and/or have never heard of The Bloggess before.  (You should really remedy that because she is wonderful!)

How could you not want to read a book with that cover?

As you may recall, Friends, I like to go a tad overboard for my book group.  I try to have thematically relevant decor and refreshments.  I want it to be an experience, damn it!  There was the time I tried (and failed rather spectacularly -- thanks Pinterest!) to make Unicorn Poop cookies when we discussed Sandman: Preludes & Nocturnes by Neil Gaiman.  I also made little sinking Twinkie Titanics when we discussed A Night to Remember by Walter Lord.  There have also been some interesting holiday choices, which included zombies and Gingerdead Men.  

It was not going to be possible to try and discuss Furiously Happy without getting my hands on some sort of taxidermy animals.  I don't happen to own any -- they kind of creep me out a little bit.  I was really hoping I knew someone who did, or maybe they knew someone they could borrow it from. Hopefully something small, not like a giant full-on bear poised to devour us all.  Although a bear would be kind of cool, if a bitch to lug around.  To that end, I emailed the entire staff, and one person came through for me.  Victory!

I'm not going to tell you all about the book, I'm just going to tell you to read it.  It is by turns hilarious -- like literally laugh out loud while reading -- and a bit heartbreaking to realize what she struggles with on a daily basis.  It also made me, at least, feel very proud of her for just continuing to live her life and embrace it all.  And I think her husband might be due for sainthood.

This post is about my attempt to capture the spirit of the book for my book group.  If you've read it, feel free to tell me whether I succeeded or failed miserably.  I did my best.

Since I had managed to score a bit of taxidermy, it obviously had to be the star attraction of the table, yet not be near anything that could potentially spill on it or damage it.  What marvel of the natural world had I managed to borrow?  The leg and talon of a Great Horned Owl!  It came from Oregon.  Apparently my coworker's friend -- who lives in Oregon -- had found the already deceased owl, and had taken it home and taxidermied it themselves. (Spell check says "taxidermied" isn't a word, but I have no clue what else to use.  "Preserved" seems like it should be more for antiques and historical documents, or for making jam.  But I digress.) Anyway, they taxidermied the owl, and then sent my coworker the leg and talon.  She even had a holder for it.  This was fantastic!  I had the whole backstory on the item.

You can't just put a piece of owl on the table and not expect to get a few questions.

Friends, let's take a look at the whole table before I break it down for you any further.  We got the star of the hour out of the way already.

It looks nice, right?  I even gave them the coloring page  that didn't make her next book, but which she kindly posted on her website.

Right behind the owl piece, I had the zombies and a picture of Rory.

It would be wrong to discuss the book without Rory the Ecstatic Raccoon being present.

So, there were several mentions of zombies in the book.  That's my little Dismember Me zombie doll. This was actually his 4th (I think -- might be more) appearance at a book group.  That might actually be more zombie-action than most book groups would have, but I like to think it makes us a bunch of special little snowflakes.  Conveniently, the Halloween candy is already in stores so I was able to get a bunch of Sour Patch Kid zombie candy as well.  I really wanted gummy body parts-- particularly the feet -- but I couldn't find them anywhere yet this year.  Yeah.  Gummy body parts totally exist, and I have bought them before.  The chocolate animal crackers are there because I felt bad about not being to get my hands on any more taxidermy, so I wanted to up the animal presence.

Moving right along...

 Fortune cookies

As seen in the previous post, I got 2 fortunes in one magical cookie.

I know, Friends.  You must wondering what the heck this book is about.  Taxidermy, zombies, and now fortune cookies?  It might seem like I was having a moment and thought, "What would be the most random assemblage of shit I could just throw on the table?" but it really does make sense in the context of the book! You see, at one point in the book she finds a Zoltar Fortune Teller like in the movie Big, and decides that it should be their guide for future financial planning.  Those fortunes are much better than fortune cookies.  I'm good, but I wasn't going to be able to get my hands on a Zoltar machine, so fortune cookies would have to do.

Next up....

It's a boring picture.  Work with me.

Frankenstein had been mentioned at some point, and once again the lovely Halloween candy selection came through and I found tic-tacs  in a Frankenstein head.  In the book there was also a bit about what would happen if the gold standard our monetary system was based on suddenly went to shit.  Like, what if countries without a lot of gold decided, "Screw you guys, were basing our monetary system on spiders."  Now, I'm relatively sure she was talking about real spiders.  I don't know that she even took the abundance of fake spiders into account, which could make it even more interesting.  If you've been here for a while, Friends, you know that I have issues with spiders.  I fucking hate them with a passion. I'm pretty sure they are equally as passionate about trying to destroy me.  (You should really click those links, kids.  Spiders are kind of my archenemy.)  The fact that I was even willing to buy those bad boys and sit them on the table, to have them there being creepy for an entire book group, speaks volumes about how hard I tried to make this awesome.  

Oh, and there was pie.  Cherry flavored, and not the math kind.  The author doesn't like the math kind of pi.

A selection of related reading materials, in case anyone wanted to check them out.

That last bit should be expected.  It's a library. David Sedaris was mentioned in the book.  I, of course, had to include Jenny Lawson's first book (which you should also read), and then some others I thought people would like.

I tried, Friends.  I tried my best to capture the spirit of the book.  I might not have been able to make everyone Furiously Happy, but at least I could give them one hell of a sugar high.

Of Book Groups and Pinterest Fails

Hey, Friends.

So, last week at work I got to run my book discussion group.  Since it was May -- the month of Free Comic Book Day and the first ever Hudson Valley Comic Con -- I decided that we would do a graphic novel this month.  I chose Sandman: Preludes and Nocturnes by Neil Gaiman.  If I was going to do this then I was going to pick one that I love.

It was a hard sell.  Two ladies flat-out told me the month before that they wouldn't be coming because it wasn't their thing. Fair enough.  There were a few other people I mentally took out of attendance because I already was pretty sure that it wasn't something they would like.

For those souls brave enough to attend I wanted to make it awesome!  Well...as awesome as a program room in the library can be.  I always try to decorate to match the feel of the book.  I also try to serve refreshments that go with it -- be it food that was mentioned in the book, or something that kind of goes with it.  If you have been hanging around here long enough, you may recall when I made little sinking Titanics out of Twinkies when we read A Night to Remember by Walter Lord.  There have also been some rather interesting choices around Christmas time.

So, this is what I came up with for our discussion of Sandman:

Our table, complete with coloring options.  Shout-out to Chris for his help in finding said coloring options.

Cupcake display!  Conveniently received the holder as a birthday gift.

Chocolate cupcakes with cherry pie filling, chocolate icing, and complete with little skull sprinkles on top. (Death is a character in the books, for those who haven't read them.)

Display of other related works for further reading

I even wore a Carpe Noctem shirt.  Thought it was appropriate.

One of my favorite quotes from the book, hanging on the door.

Candy to represent the more squiggly dream-essence, and unicorn poop cookies.

About that last bit, Friends...

Yeah.  Unicorn Poop Cookies had zero relevance to the book.  And there is a story about how they got to be included.

A couple of weeks prior to book group I was still trying to figure out what I was going to do to try and bring the Awesome to it.  I was working at the circulation desk when this cookbook came through: Nerdy Nummies by Rosanna Pansino.  I flipped through it to take a look, and that's when I saw it -- Unicorn Poop Cookies.  OMG I have to find a reason to make these at some point!  I thought nothing more about it. Didn't read the recipe, didn't make a copy of it.  Simply checked it in and put it on the shelf for the patron that had requested it.

Jump ahead to about a week before book group.  Other than the cupcakes I still didn't know what I was going to make.  The idea of the Unicorn Poop Cookies was still lingering in my brain.  I mean, they totally had nothing to do with the book.  On the other hand, if there was ever a group of people who might appreciate being served such a thing this was probably my best bet.  The swirly colors of the cookies kind of reminded me of Delirium from The Endless, which is a stretch since she isn't even mentioned in the book, but it would make sense if people had read the rest of the series....and I could print out a rendition of The Endless to try to explain.  Yeah.  This could work!  I can totally rationalize why there are Unicorn Poop Cookies being served.

That's when the drama of our little tale really begins, Friends.  I didn't have the cookbook or the recipe, hadn't even really read it.  I decide to just Google "Unicorn Poop Cookies Recipe" and that should get me a result.

It got me a shit-ton of results (technical term, I know).  Most of them were links through Pinterest, which always gives me a little trepidation.  You hear about Pinterest Fails all the time, but they hadn't steered me wrong with the Twinkie Titanics.  So I browsed through a few options, found one that seemed pretty clear-cut, and printed it out.  And before you ask: No, I cannot pinpoint exactly which recipe I used.  I found it, printed it out, didn't save it, and moved on with my life.  I didn't save the print-out either, and you'll soon see why.

Let's start with a picture of what the magical Unicorn Poop Cookies are supposed to look like:

Cute, right?  You won't be seeing this later.

We're going to skip the boring part about making the dough.  You don't need to read that.  We're jumping straight to the action where I try and make it look like the above picture.

The recipe has helpful tips/steps included on how to get the best results.  Fantastic! I'm probably going to need those.  To paraphrase, these include things like the following:

--Remember to use more food coloring than you think you will need!  As the dough bakes, the colors will fade.

Use an obscene amount of food coloring.  Got it.

--Divide the dough into sections, and place on separate sheets of plastic wrap.

Okay, that makes sense since we are going to be making different colors.  I'm with you so far.

--Take a section of dough on the plastic wrap and shape it into a circle.  Make a well in the middle. Drop the food coloring in to the well.  Wrap it in plastic wrap and knead in the color.  This will keep the food coloring from getting all over your hands!

And that would be the step that made me leery, and I kind of started talking to myself.

"Wouldn't it be easier to just wear gloves?"

Yes, brain of mine, it probably would.  Where the hell were you earlier?  The color was going to have to be put into the dough at some point.  Why did I not consider this before?

It's 9 pm.  Not going out to try and find gloves at this point.  Let's do this thing, Pinterest!

I decide to start with green, to kick it off with one of the darker colors.  Go big or go home.

It took all of about 10 seconds for it to start going wrong.  Two squeezes in the plastic wrap to start working in the color, and that shit was leaking out all over my hands.

I look like I'm morphing into the Hulk.  And that's after trying to wash it off.

I fucking hate you so much right now, Pinterest recipe.  Liar, liar pants on fire! Things were only going to get worse, as I had three other colors to make as well.

--Chill the colored dough sections for a couple of hours.  This will make it easier to handle later.

Sure thing.  I'll use that time that to scrub the rainbow off of my hands after your last little step failed spectacularly.  Maybe I will find a quasi-normal skin color once again.

--Twist each section into a thin strand.  Take each strand and twist it together, and then form them into cookies.

That sounds a lot simpler than it really was.  

Fun fact: chilling the dough doesn't keep the food coloring from once again getting all over your hands as soon as it meets up with the warm temperature of your body. Also, the dough gets stickier the warmer it gets and the more it is handled.

Could I have put it back in the fridge to chill again?  Yes. Should I have done so? Probably.  Did I? No, no I did not.  It was already almost 11:30 pm and I just wanted this ordeal over and done. It wasn't pretty, Friends.

Looks appetizing, right?

So I rolled, and twisted, and made cookie-type shapes.  I baked them.

Those suckers did not fade into pretty pastel shades.  No.  I had some seriously dark colors going on. We're talking primary colors, like they could decorate a kindergarten classroom's walls to help teach the kids their colors.  "Colors will fade"?  Bullshit.

--After letting your cookies cool, add fun sprinkles, or icing, or edible glitter to make them prettier!

Are you kidding me?!  Sprinkles and glitter won't stick to cookies after they are baked without some sort of icing or frosting.  That shit needed to be added BEFORE you told me to bake them, when the whole cookie universe was a sticky mess! I wish I had realized earlier that you were kind of talking out your ass, Pinterest recipe.

This, Friends, was the point where the recipe and I parted ways and I decided to just make the rest up on my own.  How was I going to get the decorations to stick to these things?  The original picture didn't seem to show any frosting or icing involved.

I decided to make a glaze, of sorts.  A little confectioners sugar and vanilla ought to do the trick.  It should be relatively clear and shiny when it dried.  If I basted it on the cookies, then threw the decorations on really fast before it hardened, they should stick.  It was literally the middle of the night by this point.  My brain was not coming up with a lot of other options.


I did it, and it worked.  It didn't really help to make the cookies look more like the cute original picture, but the damn things were finally finished.

Here they are, in all their glory!

Feel free to scroll back up the page to look at the model version...and then look at my handiwork.  Not a total fail, but not a raging success either.

They still tasted pretty darn good, and people were amused.  Mission accomplished!

But I will probably think long and hard for before blindly placing my trust in a recipe found on Pinterest again.