It's Not That Type of Adult

Hey, Friends.

How's it going?  I've been busy with a lot of things, especially going on at work.  In fact, let me tell you all about it right now because I'm more than a little proud of what we accomplished.

No, it's not about my awesome book group, although it is book-related.  Shocker, I know.

This year we are trying an adult summer reading challenge.

No, it's not that kind of "adult".  Get you heads out of the gutter, Friends.  I've already had more than one person ask me exactly what that entailed, and where did we keep those kind of books.  I could practically see the wheels in their heads turning -- some dark, overlooked corner of the library, cordoned off by beaded curtains, red light glowing overhead.  It just means it is for grownups. People over the age of 18.  It's not the program that happens every year for kids and teens.

A couple co-workers and I got to throw a kick-off event to get it started.  We really weren't sure how many people would actually be interested in participating.  It was a lot of work, but it was so much fun and it had a fantastic turn out!

I'm a little proud of what we pulled off, so I wanted to share it here.  Feel free to steal any ideas if you want to use them!  Maybe you have a book club of your own, or you're thinking of starting one, and need some ideas.  Maybe you just think some of the food looks awesome and want to try it yourself. Do as you please, kids.

First, we had the information tables.  Yes, tables.  Each person had to sign up, and then they got a little notebook to keep track of their progress on the summer reading challenge. The challenge?  To read 8 books in 8 weeks, and there are different categories to try and meet --  book published the year you were born, a poetry book, a book set in the Hudson Valley, etc.

My friend and co-worker, Chris, went all out on Readers' Advisory!  He made lists for everything: new releases, different genres, and lists based on different books, television shows, and podcasts that are popular.

List, booklets, and information on our book groups

Some of the lists that Chris made.

We also had a table for our Blind Date With a Book program.  We do this every year and people really seem to enjoy it.  The idea is that you pick a book based solely on the clues given to you.  It's all wrapped up so you cannot see what you are choosing.  Ideally it helps people to branch out and read a book they might not normally have chosen.  They might discover an author that they love but had never read before, or a new series, or find a subject really interesting and want to learn more. This year they also all had clues relating to the challenge part of the adult summer reading program.  

...and I might also have mentioned that some of the books met several different challenge categories.  I believe the exact phrase was, "If you want to do it quick and dirty, some of them meet several categories."  I was being helpful! Get all of the categories filled quickly, then read whatever you want for the rest of the summer. It's totally not cheating.

I wrapped 50 books.  I thought it would last a while.  I was wrong.  The supply lasted about 2 days, and then I had to start making more.

You have to have food and drinks at a party, right Friends?  Of course!  Since this was a party about books and reading, we decided that all of the refreshments should also tie to a book somehow.  None of you should be surprised that I was super stoked about this part.  I love coming up with these ideas for my book group every month!  (Need a refresher on my awesome book group?  Click here to get a taste.)

Let's start with the drinks....

Butterbeer! From Harry Potter, of course.  Chris made these and they were delicious.

I made non-alcoholic hurricanes.  I had made them when my book group discussed Isaac's Storm, and everyone really seemed to like it.

As you can see from my less than stellar camera work above, we also had regular refreshments for those who weren't feeling adventurous enough to try one of our more creative libations.  Good call on another co-worker's part for supplying those.

On to the food!  The rest of it is nice and all, but I know you really want to see what we came up with for that part of the evening.

The Devil in the White City  Chris made cupcakes that looked like little devils.  He even had a Ferris wheel cupcake display, and it actually turned!

Another co-worker made Kabobs for Under the Tuscan Sun.  They were delicious!

Chris also made an excellent chocolate trifle graveyard dessert (with awesome decor) for Lincoln in the Bardo.

I'm going to admit right now that we have reached the end of the classier offerings that were on the table.  I can say that because I made the rest of them, and classy was not on my mind.  I went more for amusing, or at least entertaining.  Some might say a little dark.  I fully admit to having a warped sense of humor.

Of Mice and Men  Those are little chocolate mice made out of maraschino cherries, Hershey's Kisses, and almonds.  

The men are Sour Patch Kids.  They were going to be gingerbread men, but I ran out of time.

Green Eggs and Ham  Why yes, I did make green eggs.  The ham is in the filling. 

Would you eat them here or there?

Would you eat them anywhere?

Alice's Adventures in Wonderland -- One of my all-time favorite books!  

It had to be included in the festivities.

(And the phrasing amused some people.)

Banana Cream Pie Murder -- the newest book in the series. I haven't read it yet, but the series is very popular.

Chocolate Pie from The Help.  Yeah, I went there.  It did lead to some interesting conversations.

Patron 1: Oh my God, you made the poo pie!

Me: This one is just chocolate pudding.  I swear.

Patron 1: Do you think anyone is going to eat it?

Me: Well, we'll certainly find out who read the book or saw the movie. It's also a good way to see how adventurous people are feeling.

Patron 2: *laughing* That is so sick!  Did you do that?

Me: Yes.  I take all the blame for that one.

Patron: You made the Eat Me cookies too, right?

Me: Yes again.

Patron 2: And the Green Eggs and Ham?

Me:  Guilty as well.

Patron 2: That's so awesome!

** Just a quick note: the links for all of the books above go to Amazon.  I'm not partnered with them, I'm not trying to get you to buy them.  I get nothing out of it.  They are simply there for your reference.  If you haven't read some of the books then you might not know how the food relates. **

The event went really, really well and had an excellent turnout.  It has been less than a week, but I'm hopeful that it is going to prove popular enough to do it again next summer.  

Of course I'm participating in the challenge as well -- can't ask other people to do what you aren't willing to do yourself.  I will also admit that I am using my own "quick and dirty" method on the challenge, and have managed to meet 5 categories so far.  I can't win a prize, but I am going to do my best to rock this thing.  I also might be just the tiniest bit competitive....even if it really is only against myself.

All credit in the world to Chris for doing a phenomenal job on this event, and doing an insane amount of work on the Readers' Advisory. Thanks to my other co-worker for her help and organizational skills!  I'm glad I could assist by wrapping books and making some interesting refreshment choices.

Oh, the Sweetness

Hey, Friends.

It's been a hot second since we last discussed my fab book group, and since we are meeting tonight I thought we could check in on it.  (You can find the last post about it over here.)

Tonight we will be discussing Sweetness #9 by Stephan Eirik Clark. Too lazy to click on the link to find out what the book is all about?  Fine.  I'll paste the blurb from Amazon here for you.

"It's 1973, and David Leveraux has landed his dream job as a Flavorist-in-Training, working in the secretive industry where chemists create the flavors for everything from the cherry in your can of soda to the butter on your popcorn.

While testing a new artificial sweetener--"Sweetness #9"--he notices unusual side-effects in the laboratory rats and monkeys: anxiety, obesity, mutism, and a generalized dissatisfaction with life. David tries to blow the whistle, but he swallows it instead.

Years later, Sweetness #9 is America's most popular sweetener--and David's family is changing. His wife is gaining weight, his son has stopped using verbs, and his daughter suffers from a generalized dissatisfaction with life. Is Sweetness #9 to blame, along with David's failure to stop it? Or are these just symptoms of the American condition?

David's search for an answer unfolds in this expansive novel that is at once a comic satire, a family story, and a profound exploration of our deepest cultural anxieties. Wickedly funny and wildly imaginative, Sweetness #9 questions whether what we eat truly makes us who we are."

Sounds interesting, right?  I was unaware when I picked it that it had also gotten the "Colbert Bump". No, that really is a thing. --> Colbert Bump

Now, how to decorate and make snacks for a book group centered around an artificial sweetener  that is pervading the food we eat?

This is the cover of the edition of the book that I read:

Bright pink sweetness.

I immediately had one idea of what to make for my book group, just from seeing the cover.  Friends, you might consider me to be a touch on the twisted side, or maybe the slightest bit evil when you see this. I like to think of it more as giving my book group a double dog dare.  

Strawberry cake with bright pink frosting, and pink sprinkles that look exactly like the picture of Sweetness #9 on the book cover.  

It had to be done, really.  I feel I would be remiss if I didn't try to freak them out a little bit by using something that looked just like the sweetener in the book.

Slight spoiler here, folks.

By the end of the book, our flavorist has moved to the West Coast and is living on a farm, raising organic produce and making small-batch organic sauerkraut that he sells.  Obviously, I had to do something that involved sauerkraut.  

Reuben Sliders

Table view

I decided to try to make the table look as much like the book cover as possible, so I went with baby blue to make that hot pink cake pop!

And no, I was not taking a swipe at Diet Coke by including it in tonight's festivities.  I always have it as an option at book group. Lemonade joined it tonight as the other option.

The decorations were a bit harder to come up.  I had a epiphany while wandering the dollar store this morning, getting the tablecloth and things.  Why not just decorate it with packets or artificial sweeteners?  That would be awesome!  And since the sweetener in the book was supposed to be this huge success that had invaded every aspect of America's food, why not some little party toppers?

Sugar-like substances

I also found some fun art that had been created for the book.

And related reading/viewing materials, of course.

Beyond my whacked-out idea of fun decorations and food, Friends, the book actually is a good read. I found the plot a little sluggish in the middle, and then the end seemed to wrap up really quickly.  It will definitely make you think twice about what the hell you are actually eating.  It also had writing that was really enjoyable. 

Three of my favorite passages from the book are:

"The physical and spiritual wonders of love.  It was all out there waiting for me, but it was also a fleeting fantasy."

"The questions that undermine our faith don't arrive through deep meditation and diligent study.  They pop up like soldiers from a foxhole, ready to shoot you down before you even have the time to realize you are dead."

"What do we do, David? We tell people, 'This is what a strawberry tastes like,' and eventually that's what they come to believe: this is what a strawberry tastes like."

It was a pretty successful night!  And in case you were wondering, Friends -- they totally ate some of the pink cake!  My book group s awesome.

An Eggscellent Find

So I was in the store the other day, and I came across the oddest candy:

Yeah, that's right:  Gummi Fried Eggs!  Who comes up with these ideas?  I can understand the cola bottles, cherries, peach rings -- those are all things that are already sweet.  The traditional bear shape makes sense if you think teddy bears and trying to appeal to children.  I'm even down the with gummi severed body parts they sell around Halloween.  They are macabre, a little twisted, and I buy them every year.  

Of course I had to buy these immediately.  Who knows when I will see gummi fried eggs again?  I'm not sure why they are out now.  I'm guessing anything egg related is supposed to be associated with Easter.  They were strangely alluring in their weirdness.  

I decided the best way to showcase my special find was to make cupcakes.  I have no good reason to make them; they are purely to celebrate the magnificence of the candy.  I'm taking them to work tomorrow because what the heck am I going to do with that many cupcakes?  They would petrify into little cupcake paperweights.

Behold!

For the record (and to keep my coworkers from being grossed out at the idea of what they might be asked to ingest): the gummi fried eggs taste vaguely like vanilla, or marshmallow.  I can't really put my finger on it.  

While awesome, it still seems like a strange choice of food to recreate in gummi form.

Girl Scout Cookies!

Dear Girl Scouts,

I love your cookies!  They are delicious, not that expensive, and I know the money goes to help you.  I'm so glad that I know someone who has a daughter that was selling them!

That being said, there are other times during the year when I would like to eat your cookies.  The Trefoils are my favorite, with a nice cup of coffee or tea.  They would be especially yummy on a cool autumn evening.  Sadly for me, cookie time here is in the spring.

I know people will say to plan ahead, buy all of the cookies you will need now and then freeze them for later.  First, I don't have enough money to buy all of the cookies I could want for the year -- that's ridiculous.  Freezing them for later sounds great in theory, but they would never last as I would see them every time I open the freezer and then I would want to eat them.

There have been a few sad years when I could not get any Girl Scout cookies.  I didn't know anyone selling them.  I never saw a table outside of a store.  The entrepreneurial spirit has been tamed by the fear of abduction, mugging, etc.  as no kid goes door-to-door selling things any more.  Admit it, Girl Scouts, as much as it is supposed to help develop the business sense of the girls, I think we both know that most of the sales come from parents taking the forms to work.  The girls maybe ask their relatives, teachers, and family friends, but that is about as far as it goes. 

Why don't you sell your delicious cookies online?  Your website says you are exploring it for the future, but it has said that for at least 2 years now.  How hard can it be?  I think we are all agreed that the internet is not a passing fad.  Jump on the band wagon!   Think of all the poor cookie-less people who didn't know anyone to buy them from, who are salivating at the chance to get some Samoas or Tagalongs.  It can't be that hard to separate the money out to the different councils by the zip codes to which the orders are being shipped.  Think of all the extra $$ you could make! 

I love you, Girl Scouts, I do.  I was a member for several years, and my mother was our Troop Leader.  I sold your scrumptious cookies, and we used to get prizes like little stuffed tigers.  Is it about the badges?  If you would just sell the cookies online I'm sure you could work a web-design or e-commerce badge into it somehow.

Please, take pity on society on sell your cookies online.  Don't make us worry each year that we might not get to savor another Trefoil or Thin Mint. 

Cheese please, and make mine cheddaar

Two cheeses, both alike in dignity
In my fair house, where we lay our scene...

English on the left, American on the right

 I like cheddar cheese -- it's my fave.  Imagine my state of giddiness when I was in the grocery store and discovered that the fancy English cheese was on sale!  (On sale being 3.5 times more expensive for an ounce less cheese, but it was buy 1 get one free!)  I decided to get it and do a little comparison.  In this case the "fancy English cheese" is being represented by the Pilgrims Choice Londoner Cheddar, and the American by some New York State Extra Sharp (I cut the brand off the package already, my bad.)  Is my version of "fancy English cheese" actually fancy in England?  I wonder.

Now, I am not an expert on cheese, or the cheese-making process.  Just from looking at it you can see a difference in color and texture.  The English, on the left, is much more yellow and has a slightly wet appearance.  It also crumbled more when I cut it.  The American is paler, less moist to the touch, and didn't crumble at all.  It may or may not have something to do with the packaging.  The English was in a nice papery-feeling on the outside but plastic inside wrapper, and the American was vacuum-sealed inside a see-thru plastic one.

According to the wrappers, the English was aged "a minimum of 6 months", and the American for "over 9 months".  Maybe that explains the color and moisture differences?  I don't know.  Just mentioning it in case it does.

Let's compare ingredients, shall we?

English: cultured pasteurized milk, salt, vegetarian rennet.  Contains milk.  Suitable for vegetarians.  --> it really says that on the package.

American: pasteurized milk, cheese culture, salt, and enzymes. -->no mentions of vegetarians

Pretty similar.  Will they taste different?

Oh yes, they do!  

I fully expected the American to taste stronger -- and no, not just because it is American or because it is made right here in NY.  There is no misdirected patriotism going on here.  The American I bought says it is "extra sharp", so I figured it would be stronger.  Nope!

The English cheese blew it out of the water!  It tastes so much richer, and tangier.  Does everything from England taste better?  I know their chocolate does.  (Don't believe me?  Try some Cadbury chocolate from here, and some from England -- not the same thing at all!)  It makes sense, though.  It did originate there.

This could be a problem.  It's like I have tasted the forbidden fruit by eating this cheese.  I'm going to want it all of the time now, and my budget cannot afford that.  I have eaten the cheese of the gods, and will compare everything to it from now on! 

I may have to set up a cheese budget.

As promised...

Here it folks!  As promised the weird pink stuff I saw in the grocery store.

I would love to say that I triumphed over my phone, and my technological shortcomings, and was in fact able to post this without going through some ridiculous steps to get the above picture here.  Sadly, I cannot make that proclamation.

I tried so hard to get Blogger and my pathetic excuse for a phone to be friends.  All I got in return were error messages.  Bad phone!  Sit in the corner and hang your head in shame!

In order to get the above picture from my phone to this post, I had to post it to Facebook, then download it from there to my computer, the upload it back here.  Oh yes, my phone hates Blogger but is all BFF with Facebook. 

So all of this hoopla has been about the weird stuff in this picture.  What the heck is that supposed to be?

It is in the grocery store, on the shelves near the peanut butter and the Nutella.  It says it is strawberry & cream flavored.   Strawberry and cream flavored what?  Spread is a very vague word.  You could put toxic waste on toast and call it a "spread". 

Presumably the strawberry bit is the pink part, so then the white part should be the cream?  If it is cream why isn't it refrigerated, and why is it so thick? 

As I mentioned, I already posted the picture to Facebook.  Consensus there seems to be that:
A) it is unnatural
B) the white part is some sort of marshmallowy-fluff.

So why isn't it strawberry & marshmallow flavored then?  Where does the cream fit in to all of this?  Could it be cream flavored marshmallow?  That seems so wrong.

I'm going to have to go back and do a closer investigation of this product.   I'll just read the ingredients and see if there is anything in there that remotely says cream (or in fact any ingredients that I can pronounce and recognize that aren't chemicals).  And no -- I have no intention of purchasing it and eating it.

Well...as of right now I have no intention of purchasing and eating it.  You never know.  I could be in the store, get all caught up in the moment and decide that I must buy it and sample it in the name of science.  I'd be doing it for you, friends.

This was totally worth the wait and having to read all about my epic battles with my phone, right? 

This is the stuff that keeps me up at night -- wondering what the white goop in the bottle actually is supposed to be.  Seriously, stupid crap like this is why I can't turn my brain off and get to sleep at a reasonable hour.

Why is cooking so hard?

It's been a long day here, friends.  Cold, rainy, grey and generally yucky -- and then there was work on top of that.  By the time I got home I was not feeling the love of having to cook dinner.  I had to make something, so I decided on spaghetti and meatballs.  Pretty basic and should be easy.  Unless you screw it up, like I managed to do.

I'm not totally challenged in the kitchen.  I am an awesome baker, if I do say so myself.  I make cupcakes as a way to relax.  It's that whole making-an-actual-meal thing that has me flummoxed.   You have different parts that all have to be done at the same time or else some part is cold by the time the other part is done.  It's stressful!  Plus, I'm only cooking for myself.    If I screw it up no one else is going to know...unless I post it on here.  I end up eating in what I like to call "courses" quite often.  I don't mean on purpose, like at a fancy dinner.  This is more "Oops! I cooked the brussels sprouts too soon, and the chicken is no where near done" type of courses.  This kind of thing is at least salvageable because you can still eat all of it, just in a unique order.

Tonight's mistake was not able to be saved. 

I bet you think it was the meatballs I messed up, right?  You have to put seasoning and stuff in them, then roll them into balls of approximately the same size.  There's a lot of steps to potentially screw up there.  I can see why you thought it was the meatballs.    Plus, any moron can boil water and cook pasta, right?


Wrong!

 This moron managed to screw up the pasta part.  Oh yeah, I'm that talented.  The meatballs are delicious!  Of course I didn't screw that part up because it is baking.  I'm not kidding about being awesome at baking.

See, the meatballs have to bake for a while.  I put the water on to boil, like normal, because it will take a bit to heat up.  Water is boiling, so I drop the pasta in and give it a stir.  So the pasta is cooking, and that will take a few minutes, and the meatballs have to cook a while longer.  It's all going swimmingly.  Then I made my crucial error.  Since everything is going to take a few minutes, I decided to hop on ye old internet.

....And then I kind of forgot about the pasta I was cooking.

By the time I remembered to check on it, convinced it had only been a few minutes, I found a boiling pot of the mushiest, nastiest noodles I have ever encountered.  I have never seen pasta in this condition before.  I thought it was going to dissolve into glue.  The meatballs, on the other hand, were perfectly done.  So I had salad and meatballs for dinner. 

When I have a little cooking disaster like this (and it happens more often than I would like to admit), I like to cheer myself up by watching an episode of My Drunk Kitchen.  Hannah Hart cracks me up!  If you are not familiar with the wonderful My Drunk Kitchen and Hannah Hart (do you live under an internet rock?), allow me to introduce you. 

I should probably warn you here that there is some cursing in the video, some f-bombs will be dropped.  If this bothers you, I advise you don't watch it, okay?

I highly recommend that you watch all of her videos.   Episode 7: Tacos is one of my favorites.  Not that you have to watch it, but if you are bored then take it as a suggestion.