An End to My TV Drama

Apparently I have been a very good girl this year, as Santa brought me a new television!

Friends, if you have been following along you may remember my television has a mind of its own.  It had taken over complete control of what I was allowed to watch, even though no parental controls had ever been set on anything.

Finally, I can watch all of the channels again!

You have no idea how exciting an event this is for me.  It had gotten to the point where I started channel surfing the other night, just to see what I could and could not watch.

Teen Nick!!  My television had decided the f^&king Nickeloden was not acceptable viewing for me. I was becoming very afraid that I would shortly be relegated to viewing only Disney Jr. and Comedy Central.  Yeah, my television had some kind of love affair with Comedy Central.  I don't pretend to understand its logic, but any and all programming on Comedy Central was totally cool with my television.

That all ends now.  I've got a new television, and so many shows I have never been able to watch!

Behold!  The majestic beauty that is my television! Unfettered viewing is in my grasp!

My dear nephew (who is 7) has been on my case for the last two years to get a new television.  Each summer visit has brought its own special commentary.

This year:  

We were at a carnival, and they had a raffle to win a huge flat screen tv.  "You should enter that, Aunt Tammy.  You really need a bigger tv."

Last year:

"You should really get a flat screen, Aunt Tammy.  I have a flat screen in my room."

So, when said glorious event happened on Christmas morning, I had to text my brother so he could relay the news to my nephew.

That's right, I have joined the 21st century, buddy!

And there you have it, friends.  The end of my television drama.  

Now, if you will excuse me, I have to go play with my new television and experience the glory of watching any damn thing that I want.

Binge-watching Netflix Can Lead To Disappointment

aka I'm Going To Whine About My Trivial Problem Now

As you may or may not recall, my television at some point became self-aware determined that it was going to have the final say on what programs I watched.  The tl;dr version for those who don't want to click the link: with no parental controls set of any kind, my television will randomly not allow me to watch shows -- even those rated PG or TV-14.  I cannot fix it.  Verizon cannot fix it.  Since my television still works fine (well...mostly fine), I refuse to buy a new one.

To give you a few recent examples of my television's fine viewing decisions:

South Park -- watch all you want

Saturday Night Live -- absolutely not

Sleepy Hollow --  go right ahead! No problem with this show!

The Mummy Returns -- a PG-13 movie, edited for television?  Nope.

So let's flashback a short time to when the first season of Twisted was airing.  I was actually able to watch the first couple of episodes, and I loved it.  I was hooked! Is Danny really a murderer?  I was vacillating back and forth.  

Turns out I would get to wonder for many, many months.  When the third episode aired, my television decided that I would no longer be allowed to watch that show.  I don't have a DVR, so no skirting the issue that way.  I tried to go in and watch the episodes "On Demand", but was still blocked.  

So imagine my joy when, a few nights ago, I discovered that Twisted was on Netflix.  YES!!  I have no idea how long it has been available on there.  It never even crossed my mind to check for it.  I had accepted my fate of never knowing whether Danny Desai was really a murderer. 

I watched the entire season in a couple of days.  Talk about a cliffhanger ending!  

I needed more!  I had become a Twisted junkie, and I needed my fix.

Maybe the second season is starting in the Fall?  I'll go somewhere else and watch it if my television is still misbehaving. I hit Google up for the answer.

Tragically, my search results told me that the show was cancelled.  Why, why are you doing this ABC Family?!  So now I am back to being bummed out over Twisted again. 

Silver lining: Avan Jogia will be playing Tut in a series/event to air on Spike next year.

 I am going to try very hard not to express any excitement about this, as I don't want to jinx it and/or him.  Maybe if the TV Gods do not think I have any interest in it whatsoever it will all go well, and my television will let me watch it when the time comes.

Titanic

Everyone and everything seems to be about the Titanic lately, since it is the 100th anniversary of the sinking.  I will admit that I am not immune.  The past few nights you could find me in front of the television watching the James Cameron and Bob Ballard shows on  the National Geographic Channel, and tonight's programming on PBS.

The loss of life was absolutely terrible.  The check to mankind's hubris left an indelible mark on the world.

I think the reason that it resonates so deeply with people, after all of this time, is that society really hasn't changed all that much.  It might not be as rigidly defined and stratified as it was back then, but there is still an incredible gap between the rich and poor.  If I had been on Titanic I would have been in steerage, and I would have been screwed.  Most people would have been.

I think it was James Cameron in his program who said that the Titanic heading toward the iceberg is like our world dealing with climate change.  To paraphrase what he said from memory: we know the problem is coming, but we are still heading straight toward it without changing course.  The rich will have no problem getting potable water, arid land, food.  It will be the rest of us, the poor being hit particularly hard, who will suffer the most. I think that is a very good comparison.

We might not like it, and we might not dwell on it every day, but we all know it is the way the world works.  That's why Titanic still resonates so much, I think.  We can all place ourselves in that ship and know what our fate would most likely have been.

Cable Wars -- Someone Please Explain This to Me

You know the annoying commercials where cable/internet providers are bashing the competition and trying to get you to change service providers?  Forget Dish Network and all of the satellite guys, I mean Verizon Fios and the regular cable companies.  These commercials are on All. Of. The. Time!  I don't think it is relegated to just this area of the country.

Let me lay down the background.  Still not counting the satellite companies, our area is covered by 3 major cable/internet companies: Time-Warner, Cablevision, and Verizon Fios. All well and good.  Verizon is available all over town -- they wired the place up when they came in.  Time-Warner is the only traditional cable provider that covers my half of town, and Cablevision has the southern half.

Everyone with me so far?

As I mentioned, I have Time-Warner.  On certain channels it seems like they are constantly showing commercials with Verizon Fios bashing Cablevision  for having slow loading speeds.  All well and good, Fios is looking to impress and get new customers.  I get it.

A few days later, here come the ads from Cablevision smacking back at Fios and basically calling them "liar, liar, pants on fire!" and citing their statistics that Fios is really slower than they are if you aren't paying for the super-duper special service.  (I didn't say I paid close attention.)  Neither one of them makes any mention of Time-Warner in their commercials.

I understand Time-Warner's motivation for airing them.  They get $$ for all of these ads.  Yes, they could potentially lose some customers to Fios if they were really offering a great deal, but not a big worry.  They are making money, and their company is not being trashed in the ads.  Win-win for TW.

I get Verizon Fios's reason for showing the ads.  They were the late-comer to the party in this area, and everyone with cable was already locked in with Time-Warner or Cablevision.  They want to get customers any way they can.  Cablevision covers a bigger part of the area, so they are concentrating their vitriol there.  (This is just a guess, but Time-Warner also owns a sh*#load of things, so maybe they have bigger and scarier advertising dollars and/or lawyers?)

What I do not understand is Cablevision's shenanigans in all of this.  Do they just have sooo much money they can afford to spend it stupidly?  Why in the world are you wasting money trying to fend off Fios's attack ads by airing commercials on Time-Warner?  I cannot chose you as my service provider even if I wanted!  You do not cover this area.  You are not an option.  What is the point of advertising to me?

Sorry for the rant.  I'm a little tired of seeing these commercials, in case you couldn't tell.