Like Flypaper for Freaks

Hey, Friends.

It's been a day. It started off with a bit of weirdness, hence the title of this post.

I had plans with my friend, who I always refer to as Gertie to give her some privacy. The plan was to meet at her house, go for a walk, and then go to the movies. Nothing too crazy.

The first hitch in the plan comes about because I can't go my normal way to Gertie's house because there is an Eggnog Crawl / Holiday Festival thing that's causing traffic chaos and closing streets.I have to drive a longer way to get there, but not a big deal.

So I'm sitting in traffic on my way to Gertie's, and I see this woman pull into a little plaza, make a u-turn, and pull out right behind me. Didn't think to much of it, assumed she was lost or something.

I'm driving along, and at the next traffic light I notice she is still behind me. As we are stopped I take a better look and she is waving hello to me. I don't know this woman. I don't recognize her at all, even as a patron who comes to the library. I don't wave back. Maybe she's trying to wave to the person behind her or something.

I keep driving. A while later I'm stopped at another light, and I decide I should really put on some chapstick because my lips feel dry. I look in the rear-view mirror, and the woman behind me is staring right at my car, and she starts clapping after I put the chapstick on. Maybe it's a weird coincidence. Maybe she's just super into whatever she's listening to in her car, or she's on the phone.

We, because she was still behind me for quite a ways and traffic was ridiculous, drive quite a bit before we get to a major intersection. I'm going straight ahead, and the woman pulls into the lane to turn left. Of course, she ends up right next to my car for the longest traffic light.

She starts motioning for me to roll down my window. At this point I'm assuming she is lost and needs directions, or maybe she finally figured out that we don't know each other and she wants to explain her weird behavior.

She definitely wanted to chat, Friends. Allow me to briefly paraphrase our conversation for you.

Woman: Hello!

Me: Hi?

Woman: How are you?

Me: Fine...

Woman: I just wanted to say hi! On the weekends I like to go out and drive around until I see someone interesting, and then I like to follow them.

Friends, I hear a lot of weird shit on a regular basis. I don't know if I just give off a vibe of someone who is willing to listen or what. I work in the public library. There are always some eccentric personalities -- like the lady who wanted to give us apples that "had only been run over a little bit" when she found them in the street, or the gentleman who told me his entire conspiracy theory about the JFK murder, or the astrology lady who desperately wants me to get together with a Virgo man, or the woman who spent an entire book group telling us all how President Obama told her to "look for the bodies hidden in the houses" on a local road. Let's not forget the woman in a parking lot who told me my car was evil and I was a devil child. I'm used to weird. It's a new twist that it is now finding me while I'm driving.

Woman: You're a really good driver.

Me: Thanks?

Woman: What's that song you're listening to? It sounds really nice.

Me: Um, Pull Me Deep by Logan Henderson.

Woman: Oh, I like that. I'm going to have to look it up.

At this point I was really wondering how long this freaking light was going to be. Not gonna lie.

Woman: Well, looks like we're going to get to go! You have a good day. It was so nice to meet you and maybe we'll bump into each other again!

Me: Bye.

And then, finally, the light turned and we parted ways.

So I get to Gertie's house and I'm still trying to figure out what the hell that was all about. So I tell her my little story, and Gertie thinks that the woman was hitting on me.

Excuse me? I mean, it's flattering if that is the case, but I don't swing that way. Why couldn't it be a cute guy chasing me down in traffic to flirt? Love is love is love, and I firmly believe people should embrace it and follow their hearts to whomever makes them happy. I hope this woman finds whatever she is looking for. It just won't be with me. Props to her for coming up with a creative new way to meet people. I think she might just be a bit odd, or maybe very lonely.

When Gertie said we had to stop at a local brewery first to pick up a growler for her husband before we went on with our plans for the day? I was more than ready to have a drink. We got there and the beer he wanted was gone, so we had to try a couple to see what we should get him instead. We are totally going with it being his fault that our plans for the day derailed at that point.

You need to go here if you have a chance. 

We eventually get his growler, and then decided that we should really go get something to eat. The place I suggested wasn't open until later, so we ended up at Melzingah Tap House in Beacon.

I recommend the Downeast Cider Winter Blend. So good!

We finished lunch, and Gertie pointed out that we had never actually gone for our walk. I mentioned that we could walk across the street to look at the waterfall, and wasn't that other brewery she liked also within walking distance? Why yes, yes it was.

I love waterfalls. 

It was cold out, but since we were supposed to have been going for a walk we decided to walk on over to Hudson Valley Brewery and see what the new releases were. We did not plan this terribly well, as Gertie ended up getting 4 four packs of the new releases to take home for her and hubby and we were going to have to carry it all back to the car.

This isn't at the brewery. I just saw it on the walk to get there.

So we walked back to the car. Gertie was bemoaning that we really hadn't walked that far. My thinking might have been a little fuzzy still at that point, but I rationalized it as totally counting as a walk. "It's freaking cold. And we're walking uphill. That makes it count as like four times as far as it really is. Plus, you're carrying all that beer. That's like weight lifting. You're working out your deltoids or trapezoids or something!" (Why yes, I am a bit of a light weight. It's a good thing I wasn't the one driving at that point.)

So then we went back to Gertie's to hang out for a while. I like to think we were amusing to her hubby before he left for work. I got to snuggle with her dogs. I am claiming Maxie as my boyfriend.

He's adorable!

And that was my day, Friends. We never made it to the movies, but it was still a very nice way to spend a Saturday. Time with the bestie is always well spent, even if it ends up in accidental day drinking. It was a long week.

I kind of wonder where the lady in traffic wound up. Does she really spend her time driving around each weekend following people? That's a little strange, and maybe a bit creepy. I would also think that she would encounter some less than pleasant people doing that. Good luck on your travels, lady. Hope you find whatever it is you are seeking.