Christmas in September? Sort Of, Kinda

You know how every year, right around the end of November/beginning of December you start seeing the posts from your super-organized friends about how all of their holiday shopping is done and wrapped?  How they can't wait to relax and bake cookies and watch the snow fall?  How life is so much better because all of their holiday stress is gone?

Yeah.  I hate those people. (Not really. I still love you, but I question whether you are actually human.)  Their perfection makes me feel like a gigantic, inadequate slacker.  Every triumphant post declaring their shopping complete makes me want to punch an elf want to flick their post off of my screen, and then I stress out more about how behind schedule I am.

I'm not in the Holy-Shit-It's-Christmas-Eve-And-I'm-Shopping-In-A-Convenience-Store crowd, but I am usually wrapping presents right up until the last minute.  I never seem to have an few extra weeks before the holidays to relax.  I'm usually working, and cursing out the snow that I have to shovel to get to work.  Any cookie baking is done late at night.

Friends, you might be wondering why I am posting about this in early September. That's a fair question, and I have an answer for you:  I want to brag.

No, I did not get all of my shopping finished.  That's crazy talk!  Honestly, unless I see something awesome and perfect I probably won't even think about doing any for a couple of months. That's how I roll.  I can't think about Christmas when it's 90-something degrees outside and the air conditioning is running.  I also like to tell myself that I work better under pressure, so procrastinating just brings out my best.

I'm bragging about having started --and finished-- my Christmas shopping for my niece today.

Yes, I realize that it is only one person...
and those gifts have not even been shipped to me yet....
and they still have to be wrapped at some point...
and then shipped to Texas.

I don't care.  I'm counting this as a win. I got them ordered.  The hard part is now done.

I can officially cross one person off of my list.  Let me have my one small moment to bask in the glow of accomplishment.

And it will be a small moment.  I'm not posting the link to this anywhere.  I needed to get the bragging out of my system, so I dumped it here.  

If you're reading this I'd like to thank you.  Yes, you.  You must be a very loyal reader to have come across this.  Either that or you must be really bored to have found your way here.  Whatever the case may be, thanks for spending some time on my drivel.  I appreciate it more than you know.

Don't Let It Snow

So right now the weather forecast for Thanksgiving, and the day before, is still up in the air.  We are supposed to get a big storm.  No one seems sure yet whether it will be a lot of rain and wind, ending with some snow, or whether it will be a ton of snow.

Personally, I never want it to be snow.  I am not a snow fan.  It is pretty once, then it is just a giant pain in the ass.  I don't like shoveling it, I hate having to scrape off the car, and I don't like driving in it.  I don't ski, so there is really nothing enjoyable about it in my book.

It really just drives me nuts that, on the local forecast page on Facebook, people are all excited and saying how much they hope we get tons of snow.

Really?  You want a ton of snow the day before Thanksgiving and into Thanksgiving itself?  Because it is pretty?

To me that reads as, "I like snow and think it would be really pretty to have lots at Thanksgiving!  Also, I don't have to travel at all so I don't give a shit about anyone else."

Why in the world would anyone wish for a major snow storm on two of the busiest travel days?  You want people to be stuck in an airport for the holiday?  That would be a less than stellar Thanksgiving.

You think it would be awesome for there to be a ton of accidents while people try to drive, or walk, to their more local destinations to be with family and friends?  I'm sure all of the paramedics and firemen who would then have to go out on the bad roads appreciate that as well -- especially if they are so busy more people have to get called in to cover.  Or maybe everyone else should just be willing to spend the holiday at home, not with their family, because the snow would be so pretty.

How about all of the highway employees who would have to be out?  Totally cool for them to be out, trying to clear the roads and keep them passable, right?  I'm sure they won't mind missing Thanksgiving with their families because you want it to snow really hard.

Or the poor people who work retail, for corporations that clearly don't give a shit about anything other than the almighty dollar?  (I'm looking at you, K-Mart.  Opening at 6am Thanksgiving morning.  WTF.)  I would be willing to bet that the majority of people who got scheduled to work that day aren't happy about it.  So you want to wish for bad weather to make it even worse to have to go to work that day?  Makes perfect sense!  Let's hope the weather is really bad, then the roads will be bad, and now these poor people can have a longer and more dangerous trip to work.  They really deserve to be punished for trying to keep the job they have!  I'm sure they wouldn't have to worry about being fired if they called in that day.  They already work for a business that cares more about getting people to come buy more shit they don't really need than about the employees spending a holiday with their families.  I'm sure the same corporate overlords would be totally understanding if someone can't make it in because of the weather.

Sorry.  This turned into a rant.  You want to wish for a shit-ton of snow?  Be my guest -- just do it on a different day.

(As a side note:  no one should be shopping on Thanksgiving.  I don't care how great the sale is, or how much you think you need the latest and greatest whatever.  You are part of the problem.  If you keep going shopping on Thanksgiving, then all the stores are going to see is that they can make $$, and then they will open even earlier the next year.  This guy summed it all up really well here.)