Sunday, May 11, 2014

Mother's Day Flowers -- An Explanation

A note to my fabulous Sister-in-Law to explain why she may or may not ever get the flowers I sent to her...or why they may arrive multiple times. No, I am NOT going to include her name here.


I tried to send you flowers for Mother's Day -- I really did.  I ordered them early, for delivery on Friday to be sure they got there on time.  I even picked an arrangement it said was available for "same day delivery".

I ordered flowers for my mother at the same time.  My Mom's  arrangement arrived early Friday and were gorgeous, so I took that as a good sign.  I told my brother to expect your flowers at your house, and he was going to be home most of the day and it was all going so well!

Then came the phone call, around 5pm my time.  My first clue that things had gone awry should have been when they could not pronounce your first name right, or even close to it.  Then came the bad news: they were not going to be able to deliver them that day.  They were all apologies and wanted to reimburse me and give me a credit, etc. How is this possible?  How could New York get flowers delivered within the first 4 hours of the selected day, but after 7 hours I am being told it is not possible in Texas?

I asked if I could substitute a different arrangement,  maybe that was the problem.  Not possible. 

Could I just have them delivered the next day then?  The man on the phone was stymied for a moment, then told me it was not possible and he would have to check with the the postal service or UPS but it probably wouldn't be ready until late next week.  WTF.

I will admit that at this point a became a bit cross short-tempered bitchy with the man on the phone.  I was on my dinner break from work, running errands and trying to have time left to actually eat something  This nonsense was the last thing I needed to deal with.  To steal a phrase from a friend, I kind of "Went New York" on him.

I asked what the schedule for the postal service or UPS had to do with anything since the website said it was guaranteed for same-day delivery by a local florist.  He sputtered a bit, then said it was a mistake on the website and they would have to remove it.   I asked if I should re-order for a different day, would they actually get delivered then?  He guaranteed it.

We went back and forth a bit more, but in the end  I was given a refund and a credit for future purchases. 

So I immediately went back to the website and placed yet another order for your flowers.  Supposedly they would be delivered yesterday or today.

When I checked my email this morning I saw that the refund had indeed gone through.  Fearing that some galactic screw-up was in the works, I went to the website to check on the second order I had placed for you.  It told me I had no orders.  

You have got to be kidding me.

Fine.  I will place a third f$&*ing order  for these flowers.  Now this is what I see when I go to the website:

Are you serious?  No florists are delivering on Mother's Day?  One of the biggest days of the year to make money on flowers, but apparently not in Texas.

So more flowers have been ordered.  Hopefully, eventually, you get them.  In theory this should occur tomorrow, but I'll shocked if that actually happens.  Who knows?  Maybe the order that magically vanished will arrive as well and you will get multiple deliveries.

I swear if I win the lottery I am going to move to Texas and become a florist -- a florist that actually has flowers and freaking delivers them like they say they will.

The tl;dr version:  Happy Mother's Day to my fantastic Sister-In-Law!  One day, hopefully, flowers will arrive at your house!

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