I apologize in advance if this is just one chaotic ramble. It's early, I haven't had much coffee yet, and I'm super excited. I probably shouldn't be attempting to type anything at this point -- not sure my fingers are really awake yet.
Prepare to share in my moment of joy....
The spider is gone!!!!
I don't even know how that is possible.
Sure, I threatened it and wrote it a nasty letter. Did anyone really think that was going to work, Friends? No, no we did not. Last I knew spiders did not speak English, and they certainly didn't go online and read blog posts. (Although they do spend a lot of time on the web. Sorry. Had to be said.)
I actually figured it was going to go all Charlotte's Web and create some huge and creepily beautiful web all over my back steps. Probably with a message telling me to f%&k off, or a picture of it giving me the finger.
I mean, it's totally gone. No sign of the spider, not a trace of its web left. Like it just vanished, or was a scary figment of my imagination to begin with.
The Interloper (neighborhood feral cat) was outside giving me the sad eyes, waiting for breakfast. I was hesitant to even open the back door and see what the spider had gotten up to last night. I was fully prepared to only use the front door today if the spider had hunkered in and made a huge web.
But there is no spider. There is no web. There's not even a trace of the web that I know it had built yesterday.
This is amazing! I can't tell you how happy I am about all of this, Friends!
How did this happen?
--Did someone I know sneak over here in the middle of the night and vanquish my spider foe for me? If yes, then I love you and will buy you many gifts!
--Did it get too chilly outside, and the spider decided to leave for a more suitable climate? Fine by me, as long as it didn't include moving into my house.
--Did a neighborhood critter decide it looked like a tasty treat and chomped the spider up as a delicacy? Bon appetit! Feel free to eat all the spiders you can find.
--Maybe The Interloper cleared it out in thanks for getting fed breakfast every day. I doubt that, but it's still a possibility.
--Or maybe the spider really did understand what I said to it. In which case I am slightly freaked out that there is a super-smart, English speaking spider living on my lawn that may or may not be pissed off with me. Not really....but you can bet it will cross my mind if it shows up again at some point in the near future.
Friends: the spider is gone! This is already turning out to be an awesome day!!