I have a little cough. Nothing terrible, just annoying, and I don't want it to get worse. It's almost Halloween which is my favorite holiday, I'm on vacation, and I refuse to get sick! Not happening.
So I popped out to a quick-mart place to get some cough syrup and ginger ale. I'm not going to name the place or the guy who helped me as he was just doing his job. I don't want to get anyone in trouble.
Should be a simple and easy transaction, right? Nope.
He asks for proof of ID to buy the cough syrup. WTF. Seriously? He said it was a new law. When did this start? Apparently it has been around for a while, and I just don't buy cough syrup often enough to have known about it.
I give the guy my license. Seems strange to me, but I want my cough syrup and I'm not going to hassle a guy for doing his job.
He looks at my license, looks at me, looks at my license again. And then...
Guy: No, no, no! I do not want this ID. I want your ID. You are the one buying the medicine.
Me: I know. That is my ID. I just drove here, that's my car, and that's my driver's license.
Guy: No. This ID is wrong. This must be your older sister or your Mom. I need ID for you. You have to be at least 18 for medicine.
I laugh, thinking he's just being a funny guy and making jokes since it seems slow. He's an older guy, maybe he's just bored and feeling a little silly today. Maybe he just flirts with all the ladies that come in.
Guy: This isn't funny. I need your ID.
Me: *In my head I was like, "Say what? OMG he is being serious!"* Um, that is my ID. I don't know what else I can show you to prove it. Credit card?
Guy: No. No credit card. I need proof this is you. You don't look old enough to buy beer, certainly this is not your ID.
Me: Well, then can I just get the ginger ale and have my license back please?
Guy: I don't know. You might use the fake ID somewhere else.
Me: It. Is. Not. A. Fake. ID. Give me back my license!
Guy: Prove it is yours, and I will give you the license and your medicine. If not, I will call the cops.
People, it is a good thing that I rarely clean out my purse, and I have not gone through my wallet in, as it turns out, forever.
I start whipping things out on the counter to try to prove my ID.
Pay stub. He says it might not be mine.
Credit card. Nope.
Checkbook. Might not be mine.
What the heck dude, do you think I mugged someone to come buy cough syrup?
Old ID card from Brockport that I still, somehow, had in my wallet. This gives him pause.
Library staff ID.
Guy: Oh, you work at the library! This is a good place! Here, here, take your things! I will give you all of your things and the medicine! *smiling*
Me: Thanks? *And I paid him, before he changed his mind*
Guy: You're welcome, you're welcome! (He's acting like we are best buddies at this point.)
Me: We're cool? It's okay if I leave?
Guy: Oh yes, yes. But you should know, that is a very bad picture of you on the ID. Makes you look old. You look like a kid in person.
Me: Thank you! Honestly, that is the nicest thing I have heard all day. You have a very nice day, Sir! (And I meant it.)
Guy: You too, my friend!
--almost had to talk to the cops about stealing my own identity?
--the library is a magical place
--got my cough syrup and ginger ale
--apparently made a new best friend
And also decided there is no way in the world I am ever going there to buy alcohol. If it took that much to convince him I am old enough for cough syrup I would probably have to leave a blood sample for anything else.