Thursday, August 14, 2014

So That Just Happened

I just went to the gas station, which normally is not all that interesting an event --depressing, possibly, when seeing how much it is going to cost to fill up the car, but not interesting.  This trip was different.

I'm at the pump, filling up my car.  A dude in a big pickup truck with Georgia plates is queued up behind me.  I'm about halfway through my transaction when he gets out of his truck, walks over and asks me if I can do him a favor.

Shit.  I'm kind of trapped there pumping my gas, and I assume he is going to ask for money.  Not like I can say I don't have any since I'm obviously buying gas.  I could not have been more wrong.

In his charming Southern drawl, he asks me if I would mind saying something into his phone -- a voice memo only-- so that he can have it to use when he gets back home.  He even held out his phone so that I could see that it was just the voice memo screen.

Okay -- I'm intrigued.  I ask him what exactly it is he wants me to say.  If he says something creepy, or disgusting, or even vaguely threatening, then this deal is off.

Apparently he has a buddy named Joe, and they like to pull pranks and jokes on each other.  He wants me to say, "Hey Joe, Fuck off!" into his phone.

I must have given him a quizzical look.  He explained that it wasn't for anything bad, but it sounded more "official" when someone from "up here, ya know, near New York City" said it.

Sure thing, new friend.  I'm happy to tell your buddy Joe to go fuck himself -- because I'm "official" sounding.

He recorded the voice memo, played it back for me, shook my hand, and got back in his truck to wait for me to finish pumping my gas.  That was the entire encounter. I don't even know the guy's name, and he didn't ask mine.

I found it all amusing, if a bit odd.  In retrospect (all 15 minutes of it), I have some questions.

1) Why do weird things like this always seem to happen to me?

2) How did this dude know that I would be cool with dropping the f-bomb for him?  Do I exude some sort of aura that says I am comfortable with profanity?  He picks the wrong person and they are likely to tell the attendant he is harassing them, or smack him. I'm glad to know that I don't seem uptight, or look like such a question would get my knickers in a twist, but I'm still a little curious as to how he knew I would be cool with such a request.  Does he think everyone who lives here is just waiting for the opportunity to tell someone to fuck off?

3) I don't think I have much of an accent. Do I have that much of an accent?  Apparently I have enough to sound "official" to someone from Georgia.

4) This better only be for his buddy Joe.  I don't want to read about a bank robbery or something where the perpetrator used a recording of someone telling a guy named Joe to fuck off.

***On a totally unrelated note***

Look what was delivered to my house about a week ago:

Yes, because it has always been my lack of knowledge about your website that has kept me from joining you.

That makes 14 visits in just over 4 years, friends.  Just keeping you in the loop.

No comments:

Post a Comment