Sunday, November 17, 2013

The Carrot of Justice

So, I just got one of the strangest phone calls I have ever received.  I'm pretty sure it was a prank on some level -- I'm just not sure if I was the one being pranked, or if someone was messing with the guy who called me.

Around 10:30 this morning I get a phone call. The guy asks for Thomas Anderson.  I tell him he has the wrong number, there is no one here by that name, and we hang up.

Whatever.  Time to get some coffee!

Five minutes later the phone rings again.  Same dude.  Still asking for Thomas Anderson.

I tell him again that he has the wrong number, that he just called a few minutes ago.  This is what ensues...

Guy:  Okay, but before you hang up, is this xxx-xxx-xxxx?

Me:  Yes, that is my phone number.  There is no one here by that name.

Guy: Really?  Huh.  Well, do you know anyone named Thomas Anderson who might have entered your phone number on a website to contact about making a donation?  (Poor guy sounds perplexed.)

Me: No.  I'm really sorry.  The only Thomas Anderson I know of is Keanu Reeves in The Matrix.  I'm sure it is a common name, but I think someone might be messing with you.

Guy:  Any chance this is a new phone number for you?  Have you gotten any other calls for a Thomas Anderson?

Me:  Nope, sorry.  I've had this number for 3 years.  I've gotten lots of debt collection calls for previous people at this number, but not for the name Thomas Anderson.  Usually they are looking for Cyan Gregory or Zeckie Grizzle.

Guy: Zeckie Grizzle?  For real?

Me: Yeah, that's what I thought too.

Guy:  So no one there pledged a donation on the Carrot of Justice website?

Me:  The what?

Guy: I'm affiliated with a charity called The Carrot of Justice.  Someone contacted us from our website, a Thomas Anderson, that they wanted to make a donation and to contact them at this phone number.

Me:  *GoogleGoogleGoogleGoogle*  I've never heard of The Carrot of Justice, and neither has Google.  I just did a search and got no results.

I love Google.  

Guy:  We're real, I promise!  We just don't waste money paying Google to put us in their top search results.

Me: That's a pretty specific name to find.  It should come up before random recipes for carrot juice.

Guy:  Well, we are a small local organization, right here in Colorado...

Me:  Wait, wait, wait.  You're calling from Colorado?

Guy:  Yes.

Me:  You know you're calling New York now, right?

Guy: I am? Huh.  That doesn't seem right. *shuffling papers*

Me: No, it doesn't. There's probably very little chance that anyone from New York has even heard of The Carrot of Justice, much less looked up your website to make a donation.  Also, it's like 10:30 in the morning here, which is what...8:30 in Colorado?  I doubt anyone really wants you calling them at 8:30 in the morning on a Sunday about a donation.

At this point I think we are pretty much done here, so I go to warm up my coffee.  

Guy: *shuffling papers*  Hello, are you still there?  I can't hear you, the lines gotten very static.

Me:  *HOW IS THIS NOT OVER YET*  Yeah, I'm still here.  Just had to get more coffee.

Guy:  Now I hear it.

Me: Now you hear what?

Guy:  That I am really calling someone in New York.  Coffee.  Sounds very different when you say it.

Me:  Okay.  Look, I don't want to waste your time.  I'm not going to give a donation to the Carrot of Justice in Colorado.  

Guy: Oh no, I totally understand!  I wouldn't give me any information over the phone either!

Me: Okay....

Guy:  I just wanted to thank you for all of your help.  You've been really nice to a guy who called the wrong number.

Me: You're welcome.  Not your fault you got bad information.

Guy:  I really appreciate that!  I'm trying to help out a friend who gave me all of these people to call, and I really don't know what I am doing.

Me:  Best of luck with that.  And you might want to wait a little longer before calling people.  Still kind of early to be calling people in Colorado about donations.

Guy:  Good point.  Thanks again!  And they say New Yorkers are all rude. Thanks for proving the stereotype wrong.  Have a good day!

Me:  You too.  Bye!

And here ends the strangest phone call I have ever gotten.  

I honestly do not know if this was a prank phone call on me, or if someone is really messing with a very oddly named charity group in Colorado. Maybe there really is a Thomas Anderson who is very confused about his phone number and messed up the area code or something  wanted to make a donation. (*Edit note: I Googled area codes.  The codes for Colorado are not remotely close to mine, so a typo is not possible.*)   In hindsight, I really wish I had thought to ask what the heck the charity was about.  

So, people of Colorado  -- if you know that this is a real group, let me know please?  And also, you're welcome.  Maybe I really did spare some of you from this guy calling you early on a Sunday morning.

And Thomas Anderson, apparently from somewhere in Colorado, if you really exist -- stop giving out my damn phone number!  

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